Richard Stallman
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Richard Marx Stallman is often referred to by his initials, "RMS". RMS is moderately famous for the establishment of the Free Software Foundation, and GNU (GNU's Not Usable) Software. His various projects (based out of the MIT Media Lab) have essentially changed the software industry, and, along with Linus Torvalds (the original developer of the rampantly popular Linux knock off of UNIX), has suddenly gained a following. Of course, before Linus released Linux, his fame was close to null.
Now, RMS seems to spend his time avoiding soap and bitching that Linux should be called "GNU/Linux" since it "uses GNU software, and Linux is just the kernel." If RMS had actually spent more time working on projects like HURD instead of writing the GNU Software Manifesto he may have a right to bitch. Too bad HURD sounds so close to TURD.
Since GNU/Hurd never worked properly, it has beed superseded by the GNAA/Hard as explained in this press release [1].
Stallman is a long time NAMBLA member. [2]
In 2008, Stallman decided to take a break from raping 13-year-old-boys and try to find his "sweetie" on craigslist [3].
| —RMS describes his ideal woman. Could it be you? |
Contents |
[edit] Some RMS Lore
RMS used to live on the 7th floor of LCS. That's where he had his office before he resigned in protest over the commercialization of something or another. But they let him keep his office, and he lives there because he refuses to have an apartment. (Given the rent rates in Cambridge and the assholeness of most landlords, it's probably his best option other than moving to Texas.)
Anyway, RMS has or had a number or geek chick groupies. None of them could be called "hot", really -- well except for this one little psycho jewish undergrad from NYC and (much to Spider-Man's annoyance) Kirsten Dunst, an MIT undergraduate at the time. He would sleep with them on the sofa in his office. That's why he got kicked out of floor 7, and down to the 3rd floor: that the cleaning staff complained about pulling used condoms out from behind the sofas. You can use this information for trolling if you wish, but it's all true.
RMS has a phobia of water that prevents him from showering. RMS has been observed taking a sponge bath in the 3rd floor men's room in LCS. Apparently once he had a girlfriend who he was totally in love with, and she convinced him to take one shower a week. It was a traumatic experience for him each time.
RMS also has a phobia of spider plants. When RMS starts bothering a grad student and going to his office and talking to him constantly and getting him to spend all his time writing free software, the grad student will complain to someone on the floor and they'll let them in on the secret: get a spider plant in your office. The next time RMS drops by, his eyes will bulge a little, and he'll say "Umm. . . I wanted to talk to you about hacking some elisp code . . . why don't you stop by my office sometime?" and make a hasty exit.
One of his more nasty habits is picking huge flakes of dandruff out of his hair while talking to other people. At least he doesn't eat them, like some people.
Now, everyone loves to make fun of RMS, but he really is a genius, on the order of Diogenes (another filthy slob who couldn't keep a normal living arrangement, so lived in a barrel) or Ghandi or Ezekiel. Everything he has ever said, while sounding naive, paranoid, idealistic and stupid at the time, turned out later to be correct.
The only thing to fear in his philosophy is his interest in reducing population growth. Everyone else who has been obsessed with that "problem" turned out to have facist or totalitarian tendencies. On everything else, bitter experience has proved that he is right. It is generally wise not to use any non-GPLd or lGPLd software (with the exception of when you must actually get work done such as watching videos of cats falling off beds or playing ghey games), and we can look forward to being able to buy only "open" hardware. Software patents could be completely eliminated, and with the development of digitial communication, there is no reason why Congress shouldn't simply repeal all of Title 17 and do away with all copyrights. They just aren't needed.
The wannabe lawyer also hates Creative Commons, because they allow flexible licenses rather than forcing everyone to use copyleft licenses. Even though most normal Creative Commons licenses allow non-commercial trade of licensed works, he criticizes them for supporting other licenses that do not. In other words, he only believes in supporting organizations that promote his choice, rather than supporting organizations that leave all choices open. JUST LIKE A NAZI.
[edit] The Free Software Song
RMS wrote and recorded an anthem to be the battle cry of the Free Software Foundation.
Original recording of the song by RMS
The Free Software Song
[To the melody of "Sadi Moma"]
Join us now and share the software;
You'll be free, hackers, you'll be free.
(repeat)
Hoarders can get piles of money,
That is true, hackers, that is true.
But they cannot help their neighbors;
That's not good, hackers, that's not good.
When we have enough free software
At our call, hackers, at our call,
We'll kick out those dirty licenses
Ever more, hackers, ever more.
Join us now and share the software;
You'll be free, hackers, you'll be free.
(repeat)
Melody of Sadi Moma, a Bulgarian dance tune.
(Dash means previous note continues;
there are seven beats per measure.)
D-CB-A- B-CBAG- G--A--B C--B-BD A--A--- CDCB--- D-CB-A- B-CBAG- G--A--B C--B-BD A--A--- A------
Copyright 1993 Richard Stallman Verbatim redistribution permitted if this notice is preserved.
[edit] Fame Amongst Illegal Immegrants
Mexicans had never heard of Richard or GNU before he visited them all on the Mexican border to America. He sang his song and it was an immidiate success. The beautiful moment was captured on tape an released freely for everyone to enjoy.
