From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Racial Profiling is the card game that Racists play to determine if you're equal to their race. You aren't.
Racial Profiles
Print and cut out the cards along the dotted lines, and enjoy!
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| White
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- Penis: 20
- Speed: 10
- Intellect: 25
- Personality: 50
- Other bonuses:
- +2 attack against orcs
- -2 health under direct sunlight
- Whites receive an advantage of +10
in every category due to superior culture
- Languages: Common
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- Strength: 30 (45 with steroids)
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| Black
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- Penis: 60
- Speed: 25 (Runnin' fum duh white massa)
- Intellect: 5 (-1 for every crack smoked...might as
well not even list this trait)
- Personality: 10
- Other bonuses:
- -2 accuracy when using ranged weapons
(.22s held at a 90o angle)
- +5 contentedness for every white maiden
raped
- Blacks receive an handicap of -15 in every
category due to primitive culture
- Mortal enemy of AIDS, White people; +10
rage when facing these foes
- Languages: Click
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| Arab
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- Penis: 50
- Speed: 30
- Intellect: 15
- Personality: 7-11
- Other Bonuses:
- Darkvision
- All Arab children are born with AK-47s in their hands.
- Spawns with choice of 10 different bombs
- +1 defense for excess body hair
- -1 intellect when shouting terrorist slogans
- Arabs receive +3 butthurt for every depiction of Mohammad
- Mortal enemy of Jews, Whites, rationality; +10 rage when facing these foes
- Languages: Common, Draconic
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| Oriental
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- Penis: -1
- Speed: 10
- Intellect: over 9000
- Personality: 50
- Other Bonuses:
- All Asians automatically possess the "Cleave" feat
- Eyes:
- -3 accuracy due to slanted eyes
- No enemies due to lack of eyesight
- +5 contentedness when exposed to bizarre sexual fetishes
- Languages: Common, Orcish
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| Jew
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- Penis: 1
- Speed: 9/11
- Intellect: 50
- Personality: 40
- Flammability: 100
- Other Bonuses:
- Jews get a +2 crime roll against hard-working women and men
- Gains 10% more gold
- Mortal enemy of Arabs, Germans; flammability +25 when facing these foes
- -5 speed due to oversized nose
- Languages: Common, Draconic, Orcish
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| American Indian
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- Penis: 20
- Speed: 25 (Runnin' fum duh white massa)
- Intellect: 15
- Personality: 10
- Other Bonuses:
- +5 Penis for every white woman fucked.
- -5 coordination due to Listerine/Fire-Water chugging.
- +10 sympathy for every teepee burnt down
- Mortal enemy of the English; +25 Scalping Prowess when facing these foes
- -10 Intellect if cleaned from the gene pool..OH SHI-
- Languages: Gibberish, clicks and mute
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People who use Racial Profiling
See also
Blogs from butthurt victims of racial profiling