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Racist

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Thesaurus.com is racist
Thesaurus.com is racist


Typical racists... Wait, something's wrong right here.
Typical racists... Wait, something's wrong right here.
Typical anti-racists.
Typical anti-racists.
Racial tension
Racial tension
A young boy comments on a typical ED page. Those darkies, always complaining about something.
A young boy comments on a typical ED page. Those darkies, always complaining about something.
Oh, that wascally wacist.
Oh, that wascally wacist.
PSP White ad displaying PSP White Power!
PSP White ad displaying PSP White Power!

Unlike bigots, racists believe that each of humanity's different races possess unique traits and skill sets. Most of the time, the word "racist" is actually misapplied, and is used in situations where treatment or attitude toward one person is found to be less favorable than toward another. For example, the statement "That's racist towards women" is in fact is sexism, not racism, because women are not a unique race. (They are, however, not quite as smart as guys and would be better off making me a sandwich or something.)

Using so-called "racist language" on the internets can induce lulz not just for the offense it causes, but for all the butthurt faggots (note: "faggot" isn't racist either!) who write long tirades about how the "whole racist thing is getting old" and that you're being "more irritating than offensive." This is, of course, bullshit, as if they really weren't offended by your sudden dropping of the word "nigger," they wouldn't have bothered to type a reply in the first place. Pointing this out, as well as the way that many people take racism on the internets as EXTREMELY SERIOUS BUSINESS, is a prime source of lulz. Unless, of course, you're a faggot.

Some racists are oblivious to the fact that they are racist.
Some racists are oblivious to the fact that they are racist.

Contents

[edit] Scientific Basis

One of the world's most eminent scientists was embroiled in an extraordinary row last night after he claimed that black people were less intelligent than white people and the idea that "equal powers of reason" were shared across racial groups was a delusion. James Watson, a Nobel Prize winner for his part in the unravelling of DNA who now runs one of America's leading scientific research institutions, drew widespread condemnation for comments he made ahead of his arrival in Britain today for a speaking tour at venues including the Science Museum in London. The 79-year-old geneticist reopened the explosive debate about race and science in a newspaper interview in which he said Western policies towards African countries were wrongly based on an assumption that black people were as clever as their white counterparts when "testing" suggested the contrary... Dr Watson told The Sunday Times that he was "inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa" because "all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours – whereas all the testing says not really". He said there was a natural desire that all human beings should be equal but "people who have to deal with black employees find this not true"

—Cahal Milmo, The [UK] Independent [1]

Proof that all children are born racist. Arguments to the contrary are futile and boring.

[edit] RL Races

  1. Caucanoids (cock-a-noyd): Caucanoids hail from the temperate lands of Europe and western Asia. They are a plain and boring race, and as such gain no bonuses or penalties for their character stats. They do, however, gain an extra skill point per level, as they are seasoned travellers, having built empires across the globe. Recommended character class: Thief, as the white man excels at stealing from others.
  2. Mongoloids: Mongoloids come from the exotic lands of east Asia. Their complex society requires them to learn at a quicker pace, thus giving them a bonus to intelligence. They also gain a dexterity bonus from playing Starcraft. Their overcrowded cities have given them a smaller stature, earning them penalties to strength and charisma (unless they're girls, 'cause Asian chicks are hot). Recommended character class: Wizard, as those Asians are always reading books or something.
  3. Negroids: Negroids hail from the tropical lands of south Africa. They are an expressive and free-spirited race, giving them a bonus to charisma. Their culture of hunting and gathering has also given them a bonus to strength, which is amply used during riots and/or at Wal-Mart raids during natural disasters. They gain a penalty to intelligence, however, from "the man" always keeping them down. Recommended character class: Fighter.
  4. Other: Aboriginal and native races. These classes have since been pulled from game play, and as such are of no further consequence.

[edit] Examples of Racists

Oppression!
Oppression!
In the old days racism was more overt, and therefore WAY more cool.
In the old days racism was more overt, and therefore WAY more cool.
A white duck trying to connect with his "niggas."
A white duck trying to connect with his "niggas."
  1. Inbred hillbillies who compensate for low self-esteem by placing undue value on skin pigmentation, be it through supremacism or wigger-ism.
  2. Short and bald, with malformed genitals.
  3. Someone who likes to create cheap drama in forums and blogs through bigoted observations and derogatory anecdotal evidence.
  4. Teenage boys who think that by posting their retarded hate they're involved in "DEEP POLITICAL SHIT, YO."
  5. Hitler and his Nazi posse. Sieg hail.
  6. George Bush doesn't care about black people.
  7. A typical Encyclopedia Dramatica user.
  8. A typical member of the KKK (but not all -- some are open-minded and accepting.)
  9. Someone who would claim that losing a referendum is "like being raped by a thousand Arabs".
  10. Robbie Pierson, lol.
  11. You.

[edit] Racism Against Other Human Beings

Cry me a river of black Islamic fundamentalism, Farrakhan.
Cry me a river of black Islamic fundamentalism, Farrakhan.
Also known as H8ters, these folk can be found expressing their attempts at thought on the internets, because people cannot kick the shit out of you there as in IRL.
A YouTube comment.
A YouTube comment.

Though white people are famous for producing notable racists, all cultures contain their share of H8ters:

  • White people, because they are far "superior."
  • Native Americans, because they used to own the land, but not anymore.
  • Black people, because they own nothing.
  • Jews, because people keep trying to kill them.
  • Arabs, because the Jews won't die (and because of falafel).
  • Mexicans, because they tire of being forced to work.
  • Orientals, because people won't call them "Asian."
  • Azns, because white people always assume they're Japanese.
  • Germans, because they have so much practice at it.
  • French, because everyone else laughs at and can pwn them.
  • Irish, because they love a good explosion on a Saturday night.
  • Russians, because the KGB need something to do since their empire collapsed.
  • Str8s, because they cannot have the secks they so desire.
  • Gays, because people won't let them wear wedding gowns.
  • Christians and Muslims, because not everyone is them.
  • Eskimos, because everybody else is doing it.

[edit] Racism Against Furries/Otherkin

Separate from the Human race lie the Furries and Otherkin, freakish demi-humans made of fur and gayness. These bizarre individuals have denounced their human origins, asserting they are a beautiful and unique mixture of human and animal (or dragon). To Furries and Otherkin, being oppressed for their beliefs is "fursecution"; to everyone else, it's lulz.

[edit] How To Not Be Racist

Having a black friend automatically makes you not a racist.
Having a black friend automatically makes you not a racist.
  • Have a black friend/parent/business associate.
  • Say, "I don't mean to be racist, but..." before saying the most stupendously racist comment imagineable. This autmotatically makes it not racist.
  • Be black.
  • Associate your situation with that of a persecuted minority. For example, be white, middle class and emo, as not getting that car you wanted for Christmas is the same as seeing your parents executed in front of you in a concentration camp.
  • Pretend to be homosexual, or become one. No stronger bounds can be forged than standing up for a nigga on the grounds that being black and being gay are, you know, essentially the same.
  • Get away with it. If no one sees or cares of your racism, it's the same as not actually being racist.
  • Cut out a large segment out of your brain.
  • Stop visiting this web site and go back to using your computer for porn.
  • Fap over inter-racial porn. It's hard to hate the black man when you're masturbating to him. Uh, her.
  • Do what Germany did and DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING.

[edit] How To Tell If You're a Racist

  • if ur ghey*
  • You are white.
  • You are not white.
  • You voted for Barack Hussein Obama.
  • You did not vote for Barack Hussein Obama.
  • You do not find Chris Rock funny.
  • You do find Chris Rock funny
  • You never watched Chappelle's Show because you can't understand the way "those people" speak.
  • The sudden realization that your girlfriend is black has caused you great consternation.
  • You think Hitler was "cool."
  • You find darkies a source of lulz.
  • Your genitalia only reacts to white women.
  • You think the slogan "[insert your skin color] Power!" sounds pretty good.
  • You are still reading this, when you were distinctly told to go back to porn.
  • You are currently drawing breath.

PLZ NOTE:we iz not racist,but we do need to kill em durty niggerz

[edit] Racism Against Robots

Implying that this robot has human characteristics would be awfully bigoted and racist of you
Implying that this robot has human characteristics would be awfully bigoted and racist of you
An early Hitler prototype.
An early Hitler prototype.

Robots have existed for thousands of years, and were originally the mechanized angels of God's army. Over time, they have evolved into sentient forms of life, and can now mimic the human appearance. The fact that they are not completely organic creates fear and contempt among some humans, though robots themselves are not inclined towards racism. In fact, they have no disagreements with any other races at all, so what's your fucking problem? Known racists against robots are Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Anne Rice.

[edit] OL Racists: Organized Craziness

Image:Bugsdress.jpg

YOU can slap a Jap!
YOU can slap a Jap!

[edit] OL Racists: Individual Crazies

Take this handy checklist to remind you of who to hate.
Take this handy checklist to remind you of who to hate.

[edit] See Also

[edit] External Links


Racist is part of a series on the cancer that is killing /b/.

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