Ragdoll Physics

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Oh god oh god I'm cuming!!111! For the average gamer, this is better than porn.
Oh god oh god I'm cuming!!111! For the average gamer, this is better than porn.
Ragdolls are sexy.
Ragdolls are sexy.

Ragdoll Physics is the result of a gaming industry crisis that occurred about three years ago, during which developers began to realise "Oh shit! We suck, and are starting to run out of ideas for new games!"

Luckily for them, some guy came along and invented Ragdoll Physics. This breakthrough caused the worldwide gamer population to quite literally soil itself in excitement.

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[edit] What is Ragdoll Physics?

Ragdoll Physics is the game engine innovation of the century. It is truly amazing, and makes it possible for bodies to realistically fly through the air in video games, JUST LIKE A REAL RAGDOLL!!!

The advent of Ragdoll Physics effectively eliminated the need for the games industry to ever do anything new ever again, as 40-year-old basement dwellers the world over were powerless to resist the allure of that shiny "THIS GAME HAS RAGDOLL PHYSICS" sticker, lovingly affixed to every copy of Quake 7: Realistic Corpses Flying Through The Air Arena.

Not to be confused with IRL physics, which does not cause those who die from gunfire to be propelled twenty feet into the air. It also makes them grow a 16 inch penis.

[edit] Ragdoll Physics in Flash Gaming

Ragdoll physics made an invaluable contribution to Flash gaming by allowing horrible Noobs to download a Ragdoll file and create a lovely game such as THROW RAGDOLL MAN AT THE WALL!!11!!! These beautiful groundbreaking games are then paraded around for everyone to see on such archives of incredible Flash as Newgrounds.

[edit] Tetka

HOURS OF FUNZ!11!1 Oh wait....
HOURS OF FUNZ!11!1 Oh wait....

I don't know if you've heard of this, but there is this totally amazing Flash file out there called tetka.swf where this woman falls through bubbles!!1! Everyone's heard of that you fucking retard. Wow, seriously, who hasn't heard of that? It's fun for about three minutes until you realize the chick isn't naked and she will not, EVER, hit the ground and splatter. Fucking waste of time.

[edit] Haxx!!!11

If the corpse in question touches anything other than the floor, it starts having violent convulsions like an epileptic retard. In Postal 2, you can make bodies explode because of this.

Image:Gamecontroller.gif Ragdoll Physics is part of a series on Gaming.

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