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Raksha

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Be thankful you can't see the rest of this picture.
Be thankful you can't see the rest of this picture.

Raksha (her actual legal name. her birth name was reported to be lost to the sands of time but is almost certainly Jovanka Kink) is a notorious Transformers fan, known mostly for her creepy near-sexual fetishization of the Decepticons and her fervent insistance that the Decepticons are in fact the true heroes of the Transformers story. When not fawning over how awesome and handsome Megatron is, she writes fanfic where her Mary Sue character has sex with alternately Megatron, Soundwave and Cyclonus.

However, she did organize an entire Transformer convention by herself, so that's got to count for something. One... maybe... two points? I dunno.

Contents

[edit] Raksha's Logic (As Such)

Raksha argues that the Decepticons are natural predators, much like dinosaurs, Klingons, and Pedophiles. Therefore, conquering planet Earth and draining it of all natural resources is merely exercising a biological imperative for them, meaning that the Autobots are a bunch of racists who want to impose their archaic beliefs about the sanctity of living beings on a proud race of badass warriors who take no shit from nobody.

This argument has found some footing with a small and dedicated group of lusers, who have their own USENET newsgroup (alt.toys.transformers.classic), their own MUSH (Decepticon Dominion), and their own fanzine (Con-Quest).

None of them have ever seen a titty, even the ones that are biologically female.

[edit] Decepti-Drama

Raksha was the number one drama turbine on USENET's alt.toys.transformers for at least 100 years, where she presented her pro-Decepticon arguments to anyone who would listen. The introduction of the Beast Wars series seemed to break something (else?) in her brain, as she began to refer to the new series' version of Megatron as being a "Pretender to the Name" and a bunch of other crazy talk. Eventually, overwhelmed by people who didn't want to only talk about how awesome the Decepticons are and how much Beast Wars is an insult to the memory of the bestest Transformers evar, she fled to greener pastures. Perhaps the greatest Raksha-Drama moment was a result of her falling out with another Decepticon fan, Sharon "Tut" Laborde, over differing interpretations of fanfic based on a one-shot character from an otherwise forgettable episode of the Transformers cartoon. Things came to a big frothy steaming head in this USENET post where Tut alleges that Raksha:

  • Was a victim of sexual abuse and projected that abuse onto Optimus Prime
  • Despite being in her 30's at the time of the argument, has never kissed a boy
  • Takes a fucking cartoon used to sell toy robots WAY the fuck too seriously.

There's really nothing else that needs to be said, except perhaps HOLY SHIT CRAZY ALL AROUND.

[edit] Soundwave

She views Soundwave as a protective "father" of his tapes. Like he *really* CARES for tape-transformers. Like a father. A GAY father. "Cries and screams are music to my ears" was his tech spec (that silly thing on the back of the box that tells you about the personality of the toy you just bought). Of course, that didn't reflect his TRUE personality, so she rewrote it to be "The secrets of the universe reveal themselves to those who listen".

At an old MUSH (online roleplaying), someone changed the quote to be: "The secrets of the universe reveal themselves to those who listen to Raksha." This, of course, set her off. She didn't appreciate it when someone (same person), roleplayed Soundwave using one of his tapes as a shield. "Frenzy. Ravage. Eject. Operation... blast shield."


[edit] Fun Facts

Her birthname was Jovanka Kink. Not sure on the spelling, so we always just called her Betty. She at one time drove a gay Geo Metro hatchback with a Decepticon symbol on the side with a vanity plate to match. It's rumored that someone shit on her car during a convention once.

Raksha think's she's cool because she carries around a faggy snake. Presumably to show the world how goth she is.

Onced raped a random fans seeing dog for peeing on her Megatron underwear left on the ground at Botcon. She then was shocked to find out it was not the dogs urine, but her own.

Is believed to have a penis.

In 1973 she was in a very twisted way "involved" in a short-lived three-way marriage with peanut tycoon and former president Jimmy Carter as well as with his personal sex slave Dave Adams whom remains in the White House to this day fulfilling the same role. Ain't shit changed, duke.

[edit] Off-Site Links

Raksha's homepage.

Decepticon Dominion MUSH homepage

The Truth About Raksha (Usenet post)

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