Ramen
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Ramen is a cheap noodle soup that is sold everywhere. It is known as the official food of the starving artist, starving college student and a staple of the weeaboo's diet. These three groups' support earns Ramen Noodles the nickname of "Purina Student Chow". One can buy at least a hundred packages of Ramen noodles for about 5 US dollars. What makes ramen so unique is that it is the one and only source of nutrition for every basement dweller in the world. Military experts theorize that by cutting off Ramen shipments they could easily cause every nerd in existance to die of starvation. Ramen is from Thailand, not Japan. Kthx. <- Instant ramen is from Japan, faggot. Kthx.
Contents |
[edit] How to Prepare Ramen
- Open the package.
- Remove the dry noodles and the flavoring from package.
- Boil the noodles in water for 3 minutes then mix the flavoring in. (Drain a little water before mixing the packet for a Bold flavor)
- ?????
- PROFIT!!!
[edit] How to Prepare Ramen alternatively
- Open the package.
- Remove the dry noodles and the flavoring from package.
- Put noodles in microwave safe bowl in just enough water to make the noodles float
- Empty contents of flavoring package into bowl
- Place bowl in microwave for 2:50
- Empty water out of bowl
- Stop being a jew
- Buy real food
- ?????
- PROFIT!!!
[edit] How to Prepare Ramen if You're Fat
- Tear the package off vigorously.
- Sprinkle the flavoring on the dry noodles.
- Eat it.
- Get on LJ and add an entry letting your friends know how eccentric and interesting you are for eating dry noodles.
- Repeat.
[edit] How to Prepare Ramen if You're Lazy
- Forcefully slam the package against the edge of your counter.
- Empty said powdered-noodles and unopened flavor-packet into microwave-safe bowl.
- Fill the bowl with water and place it into the microwave.
- Zap for 3 Minutes.
- Seek entertainment in the kitchen for 3 Minutes.
- Retrieve bowl from microwave and consume contents promptly.
[edit] How to Prepare Ramen incorrectly
- Open Package
- Boil flavor powder in not enough water
- Place dry noodles in bowl
- Cover with hot flavor-water and let soak untill lukewarm
- Drain broth, do not cook noodles all the way through for optimal suck, serves one.
[edit] People who have lived on ramen in one part of their life
- Weev
- Sheneequa
- Everyone else who has lived in Los Angeles
- Japanophiles
- Naruto
- Your Mom
- Jameth
- Fall Out Boy. No srsly, they are on a record deal with some guys called Fueled by Ramen.
[edit] Notice on the Ramen in a Cup
Despite the instructions, you may cook it in the microwave. Just put some paper towels under it for when it inevitably boils over. Only problem is the styrofoam releases a hazardous chemical, like benzene, titanium, and arsenic when microwaved, and you might end up dying, or growing man-boobies or tentacles after eating this stuff for a while. It doesn't affect the flavor though. You should only care if you're a hippie.
Some scientists have argued that the chemicals released from the styrofoam container may lead to anti-lulz if inhailed for extended periods of time. Notable figures who have become infected by extreme anti-lulz syndrome include Oprah the talk show Niggrah.
Notice the extra, abnormal toe that we all know should not be there...ever. Because of this perversion of nature, Oprah was forced to quit her talk show and become an employee at the Ramen factory where she must do the work dealing with electro-ejaculating the corpses of Etheopian refugees which is the primary ingredient in beef flavored Ramen.
