Raptor Jesus
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Raptor Jesus is a 4chan meme consisting of a raptor's head crudely photoshopped onto any picture of Jesus. Rose to fame when it became the 900,000th picture posted to /b/, only to have the moderators replace it with a much funnier image - a manga of a man with a donut on his genitals. Raptor Jesus never achieved the status of Happy Negro or Pedobear amongst the unsavories of /b/, but His "disciples" keep the faith alive in the Rapor Jesus Wiki lol extinct.
Raptor Jesus is the ontly true saviour. When our lord rises again during Catnarok, heretics shall be cast underfoot and disemboweled by his holy talons.
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[edit] The Prayer of Raptor Jesus
Our Raptor, Who art in /h/eaven, shopped be Thy face; Thy donations come, Thy posts be done in /b/ as it is in /h/eaven. Give us this day our daily Bridget; and forgive us our trolling as we forgive those who troll against us, and lead us not into faggotry, but deliver us from /fur/ry. In the name of the Moot, the Raptor, and the Holy Server, Amen.
[edit] The Creed of Raptor Jesus
Followers of Raptor Jesus are easily identifiable because thier eyes burn with the fervor of the righteous. They live by the following simple beliefs and most likely have one or more of these statements tattooed on their cocks:
- Love Raptor Jesus or die.
- Raptor Jesus is the saviour of all mankind, and will deliver thee to carnivorous enlightenment. (Many have enormous phallii)
- Believe in the Lord Raptor Jesus, and thou shalt be saved!
- Raptor Jesus will rise again!
- Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins!
- Raptor Jesus loves you!
- The divine trinity of Raptor Jesus shelters us from the coming Catnarok!
- Thus shall the Vegan know eternal torment
[edit] Second Coming and "The VelociRapture"
The second coming of Raptor Jesus actually occurred last Thursday. Many were expecting a massive Earth shattering event to announce His presence but instead He arrived on United Airlines Flight 47 to Dulles. He has not yet rendered judgment on the sinners of the world but instead is sitting in His basement eating Ramen and spinning a dreidel.
[edit] Videos
Reach out and touch faith.
[edit] Gallery
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[edit] See Also
[edit] External links
- Raptor Jesus on Myspace!
The Known Raptor Jesus BibleLOL PWNED
| Raptor Jesus is part of a series on Religion |
Deities Prophesies Religious Holidays Religious Icons Fanclubs ArchVillians Key: * represents a Deity or Holiday of Trollianity.
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Categories: Memes | 4chan
