United States of Australia

The official Australian Flag as since Ruddkipz took over.

LONG LIVE TEH KING OF AUSTRALIA!!11one

The United States of Australia, or the great country full of unpatriotic idiots, is the arrogant, alcoholic, cunt-crunching 51st and fattest, state of America which through the pure shit-faced stupidity it is famous for, will inevitably cause a nuclear Extinction Level Event (or "ELE").

As the world's largest jail, comprised entirely of the still imprisoned distant relatives of Britain's worst criminals (tax dodging sheep fuckers) and other detritus (Aspies) from an early model that would become Guantanamo Bay, it is a haven for aspiring international terrorists. Occasionally a feisty young Osama fanboy such as David Hicks will go rogue and spend a few years in Gitmo, but that's OK because these noble heroes will always be welcomed home with open arms.

Unlike other previously invaded countries, Australians genuinely have weapons of mass destruction and control almost half the worlds Uranium which they will give to the highest bidder, no matter who they may be. If it doesn't make you vomit blood in horror that such incompetent drunks could destroy the world in an instant, the fact that they sell weapons of mass destruction to obvious terrorists is the most horrifying act of terrorism since 11/9.

[edit] Multiculturalism

The official Australian immigration policy.

Australians take pride in their cultural diversity through such large gatherings as "The Sydney Race Riots" and legislation such as "The White Australia Policy", which luminously highlight the country's warm fuzzy feelings for coloured people. It was not long ago that famed racism ambassador Pauline Hanson, a.k.a. Hitler.au, was a serious political contender, until she was sent to prison for political incorrectness. She subsequently returned to reach the finals on dancing with the stars, even though she couldn't dance shit, proving that she was in fact more popular than VB and meat pies.

Despite apparent opposition to Pauline Hanson, in all other cases racist politicians are rewarded for dealing with the abos and other coloured folk by whichever means necessary. This includes claiming that innocent refugees who very nearly died coming to Australia in a leaky boat to give their children a better life tried to kill their children for some reason. In fact, to roman shower this bullshit just before an election will guarantee you win.

1,2,3,4 I declare a race war!

Moreover, even whitie is not exempt from discrimination via these drunkards. It is virtually impossible to obtain a residence permit unless you knock up some Australian whore. However, this is impossible if you so happen to be one of those in such a case you should be burnt at the stake along with the other witches according to the popular Family First political party.

All aspiring immigrants to Australia must now pass a Citizenship Test which accurately filters out dead economic ballast like Jews and Democrats. This is achieved by looking for complex underlying knowledge of the national values Pokedex which not even true Australians would have such as Mateship, The Fair Go, Voluntarism, Egalitarianism and Secularism.

[edit] Australian Internets

The Australian government is VERY worried about your safety online. So serious that they are willing to waste millions of tax payer dollars advertising the most epic 84 million dollar porno filter the world has ever seen. Unfortunately said filter was quickly proven by a 16 year old boy to be a complete piece of shit. Good work Johnny. You did the country proud.

You too can download this mind easing tool which will 100% protect you from the horrors of the internet from netalert.gov.au. Beforehand however take note that it's at least 100% likely ED is blocked. Fucking kangaroo humpers.

In 2007 Ruddkips promised that if elected he would implement a world class "adult content" filter that if installed would monitor all internet traffic in Australia. Sound familiar? Ruddkips also has a degree in Asian Studies and speaks fluent Mandarin Chinese hence one can only deduce that Ruddkips is a filthy communist and must be purged before he can start setting up gulags.

Can u halp?

[edit] The Great Firewall of Australia

In the style of his close friends in China, Ruddkipz plans to censor the internet in Australia despite everyone in the fucking world opposing the idea. The shitty idea will slow down Australia's already pathetic internets by an average of 30% and block all content not suitable for children. Say goodbye to internet porn Australia, and possibly Encyclopedia Dramatica. More info here.

[edit] Broadband

People assume Australia is an island.

Internets warrior Kevin Rudd recently pledged in his election pork-barreling campaign to give Australia world class internets (ADSL2+ to be exact) in the form of a $4.7 billion broadband network. This sent the media into a frenzy and caused many to realise just how old the ex-Prime minister John Howard was. This was not helped when little Johnny countered this grandiose plan by creating the epic porno filter which doesn't fucking work.

[edit] Vegemite War!

Australians are known for their arrogance and tendency to overreact when their pride is hurt, especially in the case of Vegemite for some inexplicable reason. Said delicacy is a delicious salty black yeast extract and if you don't like it you'll be raped faster than a slut who exposes her ankles to Sheikh Taj al-Din al-Hilali.

So far reaching is this butthurt that an utterly shit youtube video by boh3m3 insulting Vegemite with little over 100,000 views is newsworthy. The crafty journalists respond by pointing out that Americunts are fat fucks who only eat fried food. Surprisingly however they leave out the yo mama jokes.

[edit] Australia <3's Islam (click to expand)

[-] [+] 0

[edit] Common Assumptions Facts About Australians

An Aussie sheila giving surprise buttsecks as part of her homeland's annual Kangaroota event

• Enjoy throwing their shrimp on barbies.
• Constantly get wasted on tons of their Australian beer.
• Have only 5 internets connections.
• Are the world's greatest nuclear threat.
• Abort their young soon after birth via dingoes.
• All live in the desert with accents thicker than Ron Jeremy.
• Are all racist closet klansman with a tendency to riot.
• Fuck kangaroos at every given opportunity.
• Killed thousands of innocent stingrays because Steve Irwin was fucking stupid enough to touch one.
• Are fat, lazy, stupid cunts.
• All the women are named Sheila.
• Australian culture is a fusion of the very worst American and British traits.
• Australian women cumdumpsters are hot as fuck, which is a redundant statement.
• Are all part of the chemo that is curing /b/

[edit] Typical Australians (click to expand)

[-] [+] 0

[edit] Great Australians

Australian Hall of Fame.

[edit] Not So Great Australians

Todd McKenney, An Australian celeb & junkie.

• Geoffry Leonard (Pedophile) - Sexually abused a sixteen-year-old boy and his thirteen-year-old brother "beyond belief." After serving his prison term, he wrote several books; all of which are, apparently, about "molesting young boys."
• Gough Whitlam (Former Labor Prime Minister) - Sent country bankrupt with 20% inflation and 28% interest rates, caught trying to borrow $4 billion illegally from shady Pakistani loan shark to prop up economy.
• Joan Kirner (former Labor Victoria Premier) - Sent state bankrupt, lost an entire bank, Tricontinental disaster, attempted to shift people's focus off her many epic fails by wearing ghastly polka-dot dresses.
• Brian Burke (former Labor WA Premier) - Sentenced to 2 years prison by WA Inc Crime & Corruption Commission. Subsequent cohort with Ruddkips (current Labor Prime Minister)
• Bob Hawke (former Labor Prime Minister) - Famously declared that "no Australian child will be living in poverty by 1990". FAIL. Fake tears on TV when fessed up to being unfaithful to his wife in attempt to win public sympathy (read votes). FAIL.
• Paul Keating (former Labor Prime Minister) - Potty-mouthed source of fail who gave us the "recession we had to have" along with 17% interest rates. Only person other than Prince Phillip known to have groped Queen Elizabeth.
• Crocodile Dundee - Australia's official national treasure as of 2008.
• Albert Einstein
• Josef Fritzl - Australia's ex-king, currently prime minister.
• The Teenage Kings of Werribee - young social and political activists and representatives of the Australian culture, expected to form the next government of the country.
• Marty Bryant - famous traveler and Australia's current IRL Unreal Tournament deathmatch champion; scored 35 frags and 19 hits in the 1996 Port Arthur Tournament.
• Steve Irwin - crocodile rapist who was pwnt by a fucking FISH.

[edit] Native Animals

[edit] Kangaroo

(pronounced KAN-ga-ROO) Cute and fluffy creatures that can absolutely rape the shit outta you like Mike Tyson on speed. The said creatures venture through the grass hills and deserts, looking for something to eat, and an Aboriginal to kick the shit out of. Some may confuse a kangaroo for a wallaby, which are in fact the same thing. Either way, nobody gives a shit.

Australians can be unpredictable and violent.

Typical kangaroos in the wild.

The so promised raep.

[edit] Koala

A bear of some sort that eats all your trees and sleeps when it wants to. Well known for their cuteness and cuddliness, koalas often drop from trees and kill people on impact. They also produce a loud roar that will make you cry.

A koala tastes fine too!

When falling, some may use lightsabers.

Awesome Foursome hot koala buttsecks.

[edit] Gallery

Gallery of Australia

Marty Bryant, Australia's 1996 Pro-Gamer of the Year. A popular alternate Australian flag. Dame Edna, a typical Australian Sheila and Raeper of possums. Note the facial hair and enlarged biceps. Not shown: Massive hairy scrotum. The head of the newly-created Ministry of Citizenship and Assimilation.

[Collapse Gallery] [Expand Gallery] 0

Australia has an immigration policy promoting multiculturalism. A koala in action. Most Australians heads resemble this shape. Prime Minister Harold Holt simply disappeared one hilarious day in 1967 whilst bodysurfing. Aussie EX-Prime Minister John Howard. Even Zezima has trouble with them. Degen encounters an even larger spider problem. Support the Nation, set it as your MSN DP. Save the World from these asshats, set it as your MSN DP. Hulk hates Australia. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi! So I heard you voet Ruddkipz Fighting police with beer bottles is the Australian way. Native Australians spear-headed a musical renaissance during the 70s with tribal dancing on flashing coloured squares the likes of which had never been seen. Australians love it in the ass. The Australian political machine is a global leader in Tubes 2.0 campaigning. Extra points if you hit a muso. Australia is proud to host many of the USA's state-of-the-art torture centres. The budget is over 9000. The TRUE flag of Australia.

[edit] See Also

The two major food groups of Australians are beer and cigarettes, as illustrated by Hoveround.

[edit] People:

• Kevin Rudd
• John Howard
• Jarrad Willis
• Aboriginal
• Steve Irwin
• Heath Ledger
• Corey Worthington
• Gas Mask Girl
• Josef Fritzl
• Sarah Champion
• Dennis Ferguson

Worst country in Europe.

[edit] Places:

• Adelaide
• Brisbane
• Canberra
• Melbourne
• Perth
• Port Arthur
• Tasmania
• Toowoomba

[edit] External Links

• Another Australian pastime (AIDS)
• ninemsn article on this article
• Pathway to American Statehood
• Australia is now the fattest country in the world
• United States Of Australia Campaign site
• A standard evenings entertainment in Australia

	The Commonwealth of Encyclopedia Dramatica
Members	Afghanistan | Albania | Antigua and Barbuda | Argentina | Armenia | Australia | Austria | The Bahamas | Brazil | Canada | China | Colombia | Denmark | Egypt | England | Fiji | Finland | France | The Gambia | Georgia | Germany | Greece | Iceland | India | Iran | Iraq | Ireland | Israel | Italy | Japan | Kazakhstan | Kenya | Latvia | Liberia | Madagascar | Malaysia | Mexico | Moldova | Mozambique | Nauru | Netherlands | New Zealand | Niger | Nigeria | North Korea | Northern Ireland | Norway | Pakistan | Peru | Philippines | Poland | Portugal | Romania | Russia | Scotland | Serbia | Sierra Leone | Somalia | South Africa | South Korea | Sudan | Switzerland | Sweden | Syria | Tajikistan | Thailand | Turkey | United Kingdom | United States | Uruguay | Vietnam | Wales | Zimbabwe
Kick Banned	Kosovo | Kurdistan | Ireland | Palestine | South Ossetia | Taiwan

	The United States of Encyclopedia Dramatica
States	Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | Delaware | Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine | Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire | New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania  | Rhode Island | South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennessee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming
Not a state yet	Australia | Canada | China | Cuba | District of Columbia | Iraq | Israel | Japan | Latin America | United Kingdom | Vietnam