Resident Evil 5

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Finally! A game that does what we're all thinking! Pool's CLOSED

Resident Evil 5 (otherwise known as "PUNCH NIGGERS RECEIVE CAKE") is the fifteenth game in the Resident Evil series. It was released for the Tre Shitty and some other really expensive thing. The only thing that distinguishes this game from the fourteen that come before it is (except number fourteen itself), instead of killing zombies, you walk around Africa endlessly shooting entire villages of pissed off mutant locals and indigenous people. This requires no logic or strategy like numbers zero through thirteen, but instead relies solely on aim. Because of this fact alone, the game is destined to be a top seller.

Gameplay

How to win at Resident Evil 5

Dead Space with shittier controls, no curb stomp and no movement while aiming. The physics engine, leveling up, gore, textures and soundtrack are radically different than the fourth game since it's much prettier and has co-op. Oh, and a woman with a crazy accent.

There are a wide variety of enemies that players will face off against in Resident Evil 5. These include niggers, niggers with axes, niggers with crossbows, niggers with chainsaws, niggers with dynamite, niggers with molotovs, nigger dogs, niggers with rifles, the African version of Hell's Angels, tribal niggers, fat niggers, skinny niggers, a giant bat, black niggers, Lickers that aren't nearly as bad-ass as they used to be, a big thing with black tentacles that might as well be a nigger, monsters that pop out of niggers, sandniggers, the obligatory final boss who comes back from the dead for the umpteenth time (not a nigger), and niggers.

To wit:

Storyline

Resident Evil 5 summed up in one image

No exceptions.

I got in one little fight and my mom got scared...

You play as Chris Redfield (who suddenly looks nothing like he did originally), now a member of the BSAA(Bull.Shit.Anal.Alliance). He is sent by his chapter's Grand Wizard to Africoon to lynch the loads of niggers that the Klan has begun to ship back home (Just because you sent them back to Africa doesn't mean you can't follow and kill them anyway.) Accompanying him is Sheva Alomar, an African whose light skin and British accent almost allows her to pass as a human. They fight against a greedy businessman named Irving, some dago bitch named after Microsoft Excel, and Albert Wesker, who plans to exterminate mankind for the lulz and become God. In the process, they rescue Jill Valentine (who suddenly has long blonde hair) all before finally killing Wesker with a rocket launcher (oh yeah, spoiler). There's some other shit about Tricell funding Ouroboros research and people huffing bugs, but seriously if you were expecting anything more than that, you're probably a fat nerd.

Controversy

Not surprisingly, the niggers are complaining that, since the game will feature white heroes shooting black villains, the game is racist and ~~should not be released~~ Too late. One disgruntled black mother had this to say:

“	It's apparently the white character's job to destroy the black people and save humanity. This is problematic on so many levels, including the depiction of black people as inhuman savages, the killing of black people by a white man in military clothing, and the fact that this video game is marketed to children and young adults. Start them young...fearing, hating, and destroying black people.	„
—An upstanding community member

This is, however, completely false, as niggers are inhuman savages IRL and it is pretty much every white guy's job to destroy black people and save humanity. Of course, none of these diverse defenders of civil rights and multiculturalism had anything to say when Leon S. Kennedy was blasting through crowds of rabid Spaniards and Nazi clichés. These stupid shitheads seem to forget that the game is made by Asian people, and Asian people hate whites and blacks evenly. Furthermore, the idea that this game will make people start hating blacks is completely unfounded, as most people hate niggers already without the help of a video game.

Of course - all the concerned single mothers are just having a knee-jerk reaction, as only a faggot would think that people who play video games are completely unable to distinguish between them and real life and therefore believe that stealing cars, killing prostitutes, jumping on turtles, and searching for agility orbs IRL is serious business. Also killing niggers in the game is one reason its so epic and full of win faggots.

Gallery

Godhand	Know your enemy	I hope that doesn't count as a crossover.	this is a bonus outfit. Seriously.
	lol spoiler	COMPLETE GLOBAL SATURATION	Hawt
The mandatory Tentacle Rape	Dat Ass	Team Fortress 2 Special Edition
First time I fapped to a Black Woman