Ricers

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search

Typical Ricer

Typical Ricers at a meet.

Looking back, it was clearly a mistake to stop after only two bombs.

Rednecks can be Ricers too.

A ricer is a failed attempt at making a car built in Japan and Mexico, look WAI FASTER AND GET PUZZAY!!1oen. The term comes from the fact that third world countries can only afford to eat rice and mod their inefficient rides with broken toilet-seats, duct-tape, and e-bay turbochargers. Unless you're a ricer or suffer from homosexuality it is blatantly obvious that these cars are hilariously ugly. Despite centering on Japanese cars, if you see a Volkswagen driving down the street with a gigantic spoiler that could only be useful when breaking the sound barrier, do not hesitate to call it rice.

It should be noted that while a ricer is the person that drives the car the term rice rocket is the term for the car itself.

"Rice", "ricing", etc., by definition is: "Adding an enhancement to a vehicle incapable of utilizing it, such as: Large rear spoilers for cars that are unable to go faster than 85mph, decals for items not equipped, meaningless bodywork or "bodykits", or any further modifications done solely to make the vehicle look faster than it truly is." A bodykit itself is not necessarily rice, but when applied to a Pontiac Sunfire, Honda Civic DX or Hyundai Accent, the bodykit becomes rice.

What makes a car riced?

Typical Riced cars feature the following:

Every body panel must be a different color, or primed.
VTEC Just Kicked In Yo
Body kits that make you stick out like a champion.
Giant wings and spoilers on the trunk, if no trunk exist then the spoiler is usually located on top of the car near where a trunk should be. The more levels the better. Don't forget to attach a spoiler to your car's hood, doing this will make your ricer even hotter and you will get pussy from 16-year-old girls.
Blinky LED's and neon pipes in all of your parts. TEHY MaYk IT FAZTAH111.
After market part stickers on your car even though it is completely stock and in fact is probably missing engine parts.
Stickers for parts you don't have. For example, having a "HKS Turbo" sticker while your car is naturally aspirated.
Emblems for cars that yours is not [Type-R badge on an Escort]
Carbon fiber parts such as but not limited to trunks, hoods, shift knobs, dashboards, license plate frames, license plate holders, racing seats, and taillights. Its is a known fact that carbon fiber adds extra VTEC and makes you go even faster. True ricers call it CF. (CF parts may actually be useful, but not when combined with 500kg of stereo-gear.)
Extra gauges that do nothing. Switches too. Your car's interior must look like a cockpit. Usually made from carbon fiber to make you even faster, including but not limited to a 5" MONSTER TACH, because having a tachometer with a 10,000RPM range makes your car capable of such.
A Shift light, because the sheer acceleration of a Nissan Mirca is so great, that looking away from the road to check the 5" MONSTER TACH is too dangerous.
Stickers of flames and dragons on the sides and lots of chrome spray for the rims.
Crazy ass paint jobs, screaming "PULL ME OVER FOR DOING 48 IN A 45". Usually made by using spray cans.
Massive, goatse-like exhaust pipes called a fart cannon due to the sound they make, one for each cylinder, no less than 3" in diameter.
Having furry dice and lots of toys dangling from your extended rear-view mirror.
Extremely large subwoofers and speakers to maximize bass so you will be heard coming from at least 100 miles away.

Not Rice

A vehicle tuned beyond it's mechanical intended limits and left to appear "stock" is often called a "sleeper". These vehicles may appear unseeingly like their normal economy car selves, but are capable of more than meets the eye.

Some great sleepers include:

Saturn SW2 - A Mid 1990's GM station wagon, made mostly of recycled plastic bottles, is considered the ultimate sleeper, when tuned properly.
Abarth 500 SS - A factory "sleeper", capable of being both a sensible economy car, and provide a bit of lulz when the hammer is applied.

Ricer Gallery

Rou Rike?

Typical "modification" to an early model Acura Integra.

A Mustang is fail, too

In this image, we have a rear shot of a "modified" Saturn SC2..

... as we move to the side, we note the damaged body. Typical rice.

Rest in Peace, 'lil tupperware. Don't give up the good fight. Kill your valve body. <3	Some would find this, but they are wrong. This car is the very definition of rice.	Further evidence that this car's owner is merely a ricer, not a tuner.	In Japan, this is "Domestic Tuning", to the rest of the world, rice.
This type of rice is exempt, as it's crap form makes it lulzy.	Some would call this "Domestic Tuning", but they are wrong; it is rice.	This owner should have his Saturn license revoked..	Notice the distinct color of primer.
This is not rice, but an art car. It is just as ugly, though.	Typical ricer car.