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Rules 1 and 2

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This article needs a serious clean up
Somebody should do something about it.


This is the result of Newfags breaking rules 1 & 2
This is the result of Newfags breaking rules 1 & 2

Fight Club's famous Rules 1 and 2 were adopted by /b/tards to become part of the Rules Of The Internet. After all, /b/ IS Fight Club, bitch. The rules are simple:

Rule 1: You do not talk about /b/

Rule 2: You DO NOT talk about /b/

Breaking the aforementioned rules is an unavoidable consequence of having to explain them to noobs, but that's OK, because the rules were made by Gaiafags. Rules 1 and 2 were taken lightly until the fallout from the The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006 left /b/ a shell of what it used to be. Since then, many /b/tards have taken it upon themselves to protect the name of /b/ from the internet. Camwhores may circumvent the rules, but only by writing it on their tits.

The interpretation of the rules is up for debate. Some argue that the merely mentioning "4chan" outside of 4chan counts as an infraction, while Newfags tell all their 13-year old friends about /b/ and turn it into fucking myspace.

Old media failing to understand Rules 1 and 2 when reporting the incident.
Old media failing to understand Rules 1 and 2 when reporting the incident.

Contents

Utmost Violations of Rules 1 and 2 to date


NY Times Article About Trolls


Newfag learns that breaking the Rules gets you b&
Newfag learns that breaking the Rules gets you b&

The August Exception

In an attempt to save face, Anonymous attempted to rewrite history with the following declaration:

 
 
Rules 1 and 2 only apply to raids.
 

 

—Anonymous, in /b/ replying to Anonymous citing "Rule #1 and #2" on August 7th, 2007

Anonymous will probably repeat it until it catches on and is accepted as truth by all /b/tards.

Citing The August Exception in reply to citations of Rules 1 and 2 became a meme in itself, instantly creating drama between supporters and detractors of The August Exception.

Counter Argument

Rules 1 and 2 of the internet came from Fight Club and retain the same purpose: to keep new people out. Newfags don't understand /b/, and retard everything they touch in it. The August Exception makes Rules 1 and 2 into a useless declaration to keep potential raid targets from entering /b/.

Trolling /b/ is like pissing in an ocean of piss. Average people who venture into /b/ are driven out by an autoimmune system of guro, racism, foul language, and constant trolling welcomed warmly with easy to insert, old and shitty meme suppositories. The only reason to NOT talk about /b/ (except to other /b/tards) is to prevent bullshit like this.

Unfamiliar newfags that completely and arrogantly ignore Rules 1 and 2 cause time-treasured (or otherwise) memes to be stolen by Jews. When newfags follow The August Exception, shit like the Longcat Crusade, this faggotry and this crap happens.

Rules 1 and 2 apply everywhere. DON'T FUCKING FORGET IT. This means no /b/ T-shirts, posters, tattoos or any thing else that compromises /b/.

Another Quick Point

 
 
You're a fucking noob if you don't know the rules of 4chan. #1: Don't talk about 4chan. #2: DON'T TALK ABOUT 4CHAN!.
 

 

—Anonymous, on the Times Top 100 poll commentating on Anon's normal posting activities, March 2009.

While these may be the "Rules of the internet", they are not necessarily endorsed by 4chon itself. One click on the rules of 4chan reveals that besides the normal limitations, 4chan is essentially rule-free. And we all know that 4channers follow the 4chan rules.



Rules 1 and 2 is part of Classic Solid Chanspeak
          a series on Memes Fleeting Failed Not a Meme
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