RuneScape
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
"Runescape" (Pronounced Run-escape) is a game made by Fagex that is the hands down shittiest MMO to ever exist. It consistently tricks twenty year olds and 13 year old boys with hands down their pants into devoting their lives (not to mention, five dollars a month) to it's shitty graphics and Atari quality music which is better described as speaker barf. This often leads to delusions of awesomeness, which then leads to some hardcore trolling. Yeah right.
You can barely go five minutes without someone coming up to you and asking "4 monies". Then, when you say no, they do the fucking raspberry animation at you and say they "Fakked ur mom". Truly, they are kings among men. That, or some emo slut comes up to you and 'hugs' you because there's a one-word 'reference' in your username to My Chemical Romance.
RuneScape is known as the birth-ground of /b/tards; exposure to Jagex's crap for long enough makes you a very bitter internets and IRL reject: a /b/tard. As time advances our /b/tard grows, becomes an outcast, and is ultimately banned from RuneScape. From thereon the young /b/tard journeys the depths of the interwebs to reach Encyclopedia Dramatica; if they're deemed lulzworthy enough, they're shipped off to live amongst anonymous as /b/tard elites in Canada.
[edit] Caution: may contain
- Faggotry
- Peanuts
- Nothing remotely heterosexual
- Shitty graphics beyond belief
- FAGEX FAGX FAGEX
- Several things even worse than World of Warcraft
- In some extreme cases, grounds for suicide
[edit] RuneScape Features
- Make a character out of three different shirt choices, two different types of pants, and four anime-style hairdos (oh, the customization!). Too bad you look like every other Runescape-playing furry.
- A broken chat filter that blocks anything that does and does not remotely resemble a curse word, sex term, or web site URL.
- With alchemy, you can turn shit into gold, then buy more shit. Epic.
- The ability to level up combat skills, so you can use better swords to help you level up more combat skills to use better swords. Epic.
- The ability to make you waste so much time doing the same shit over and over again under the disguise that this is "fun" you won't realize how badly this addictive shit video game has wasted your life until you look in a mirror. Epic?
- The ability to make money, so you can buy supplies to help you make money faster. See a pattern?
- A nice, friendly online community of paedophiles, who often dress up as 16-year-old girls to attract small children into their sex dens.
- You can dress like a transvestite. This is a members-only feature. And every member does it. NO EXCEPTIONS.
- The never-ending fun of farming. The reason 90% of Runescape players pay $5 a month to play the premium version.
- Fletching, need we say more?
It should be noted that aforementioned shitty chat filter actually blocks out the word 'fletching'.HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS! - The ability to make a house for your virtual character, so he can get on the internets and play Runescape. This is also a nice function for the older players.
- The ability to make a chair and sell it for supplies to make a new chair. Epic.
- You can now do Lunar Magic, and at Level 97 cure AIDS, which is not needed anyway because 98.93248 % of the players are 13-year-old, white, virgin, fags.
- Laugh at n00bs without members accounts, saying that crappy members items are ultra 1337 endgame shit!
- Laugh at n00bs with members accounts, saying that they have no lives.
- Take a picture of you rubbing your hot spicy boner over their character.
- Causes emotional discomfort when being made fun of by fellow friends for playing this severely outdated, beta test 90's era java game.
- Allows you to pick up any number of noob GF's in Lumbridge. This is slowly replacing all other Runescape activities.
- When you max out a level you can do a fancy emote that shows all of the other players around you how much of a no life faggot you really are.
- The ability to spend over 9000 hours collecting summoning shards to summon your own familiar, and then spend even more time trying to level up so you can summon even more l33t Yu-Gi-Oh monsters.
[edit] Typical runescape Scams
- Even worse, this tactic usually works:
basementsftw did u no jagex blocks ur pass* look ****** shit they actually do that now.
defnotan00b > can u giv me free stuf i tiped my pass in the chat and some1 hacked my account help me plz
- This also works
basementsftw >: i trimm your arm0r 4 10k
- ..And so do these:
basementsftw > drop your rare stuff and push alt + f4 and it will duplicate your itemz!! basementsftw > I am a jagex mod ! give me your password* or will steal your garden! basementsftw > I work with jagex, and you have been reported for item scamming! Give me your pass* (sorry i have to do that because not even mods can get past the chat filter in case sum1 abuses it) so I can check your trade records to clear your name or you will be banned! (O nooo3z!)
- Rubber stamp with the typical moderation (this is the actual moderator team, not the thousand 'official jagex modz!') philosophy: We volunteer for this job therefore if we see a thread that is breaking the rules, we don't have to do anything about it. What are you going to do, cut our paychecks?
The aftermath of haxxing: after each player loses "valuable st00f" they resort to:
- Picking flowers.
- Making moar valuable st00f.
- Following the scammer's example, doing a bit of scamming themselves, and then constantly crying about how "Jagex suspended meh for no reason im going to rant wildly in the forums bawww"
Other shitty scams that actually work:
- 1. If you see people asking for free shit tell them that you have it but you left it at a bank. when venturing to a bank take the "long" way. Once your out in the middle of bumfuck Egypt tell them that they have to pay a small fee. Usually they give you absolute crap but sometimes with your promise of rune or something actualy worth a blow job they will give you something moderate. If you go past a bunch of dark skinned people with towels on there heads then you've go far enough to get noobs lost. Just ask for a small fee evey once in a while and constanly try to keep them following you until your happy with the shit they give you or until they grow a fucking brain and feel that you might be scamming them.
- 2. It's pretty obvious that most runescrap users are 13 year old virgins that don't know the world of porn on teh internetz. You should take advantage of this. If you have a male character either get a sex change or make a new account and make that character a female. Once you aquier a female character get iron armor and make sure that your skin color is pinkish. Make sure that your iron armor is made for females because its not really all that hot when there isnt any clevage. Next all you have to do is whore your self around shit grafic land aka runescape. If you get an offer of: cybersex, relationship, or animal sex with a dead cow in the runescape world take up on the offer but announce that you won't do it for free. If you get offers of relationship from more than one person, state that you'll be "gf's" with who ever gives you the most amount of money or shit. ALWAYS REMEMBER after you get a handful worth of scammed goodies, you should block that peron from communications and avoid them at all cost. They can't report you if they're giving something to you for free.
- 3. If none of the above work refer to The Following why it didn't work: The Following
[edit] Ways to Player-Kill on Runescape
- Bounty Hunting - Piling an unsuspecting newb with your team of over 9000 people to make yourself feel tough, then stealing the items they drop.
- Teh Dule Areenor - An Areenor for Duling, which is now sadly free, which means it is
oftenalways swamped with furries and fucktards. - Hack - Almost impossible, an RuinSkepp hero did it Last Thursday resulting in much butthurt and fagging. Not recommended.
- Clan Warsz - Group Orgies of newbs and fags, which are essentially 'Bumrape everyone on the other team or get bumraped by hobos'.
- It should also be noted that when engaging in the analsex style combat of Goonscape, it's much like an event of the special olympics; Even if you win, you are still a retard.
- PVP worlds - Whole servers full of ganking and dickwaving noobs that got launched cause of all the butthurt whinging of the oh so special PKing hardarses. Understandably all the community got a bit happy about it.
[edit] Reasons to not play Runescape
For they who haven't played this shit, here are some reasons to not even think about creating an account there:
- Lilneyerguy, an actual runescape player sucks big cock while doing a mindless "skill" in the game, because he is such a devout player of RS.
- Annoying 13 year old boys
- Not good for your health
- Try some crack insteed
- Ever more fail
- Fail (again?)
- A nigga will come into ur house and rape j00 with his massive cock 'o' doom.
Kt 3 H1tt3d is a fuckin' beast, and he will 1 hit you, but he quit - shame..No.
Team Brutality will come into Bounty Hunter, rape you all in the ass, stick it back in the ass, take it out, stick it in and continue to rape you until you fucking piss your pants. NO. FUCK YOU. SERIOUSLY.If this shit doesn't dissuade you from playing, then nothing will.
Hey motherfucker above me, Team Brutality sucks! THQ FTW!!! REDA PAKI MARC PAKI!HAHAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!
- Runescape has a tiny penis and also. it has herpes and genital warts.
- Shitload of people with Asperger's syndrome play, no seriously, go to your computer lab at school and there will be like 6 of them. No seriously, get up, and go look at your schools computer lab or library, there will be that many, at least.
- Players like kombatman360 who consider themselves "1337" they got a whip, nice job getting a makeshift sex toy, jackass.
- Players like 888xzerokwl who are IRL retards and whose only view on life is playing gay-as-fuck games like WoW and claim to be a tough guy and call everyone a noob.
- Playing this game will result in your penis size dropping at least 100 inches.
[edit] HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, JAGEX SUCKS COCKS.
Jagex pussied out and decided that real world traders were ruining everything, so they decided to remove player killing entirely, along with gift giving.
Since player killing was removed, over 9000 have decided to quit Runescape, along with quitting IRL.
However, accompanying Runescape HD, at least 100 pretentious high-levels have returned to the game.
[edit] Ways to Player-Kill IRL
In 2006 a Dutch fourteen year old boy, named Maarten, decided to become An Hero after one of his friends hacked in to his Runescape-account and stole eleven million Runescape gold. This story makes Maarten even more pathetic than Mitchell Henderson, as Mitchell actually lost something of real value, and not just a bunch of pixels and the friendship of some Guy on the internet.
Before hanging himself, the little fucktard announced his oncoming suicide in the best way possible, by posting a suicide note on the message board of his clan. His friends responded by spamming with desu and longcat, until they found out his threat was actually serious. It wasn't long until the raped ruins of his account were divided between his aspie clan-members. Gameplay went on like normal, and not much was lost, as the internets has way too many depressed basement-dwellers anyway.
Generally the small yet retarded fucktard has provided a lesson to all RuneScape nerds. GTFO IRL and give us our much deserved lulz. Maarten must however be thanked for bringing the danger of retarded video games to the attention of the Old Media.
[edit] RuneScape CAN kill you
Yes, it's true. Just playing this game makes you want to KILL yourself. So did the RuneScape player, "FatWrecked".
| —Tony (Ashley's dad), FatWrecked YouTube channel. |
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS, It's all a fucking LIE! HE SUICIDED! Yes, I said "He", you thought he was a female? Then, you're dreaming. This is a warning for you all who play RuneScape.
[edit] RuneScape Vs. World of Warcraft
'Scapers & WoWists often debate which of their faggoty little games is better with the same level of rage and intensity as Yankees and Red Sox fans. They fail to realize that it's the same as arguing the benefits of having your dick or balls cut off first. However the answer is a simple one, Runescape is just a shitty version of Warcraft, since Jagex cannot come up with ideas that have not already been used by Blizzard anyone. But it is ttly obvious that Dungeonseige pwns all other shitty mmorpg's. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS.
[edit] The Bulldog Incident
In an attempt to look like they care about their users, Jagex has a little thing on the site called the Knowledge Base. It contains nothing worth knowing about Runescape. It's like the manual, but useless. This causes small children to harass moar experienced players for hours on end, attempting to eat their brains and gain their knowledge. This causes the harassed to tell the fucktard to STFU & GTFO, causing butthurt, wristcutting, and shouts of "OMG REPORTED!". A while ago, they made a small cartoon advertising the Knowledge Base that ran on the side of the screen, which ended in someone searching the term "bulldog". Intrigued, the users who saw it copied the actions of the cartoon which brought up half-assed picture of a guy and a bulldog in a walk loop. This caused all who saw it to go batshit insane. The forums were flooded which threads of raving speculation and how dogs were finally coming to the game. Of course, they didn't come to the game soon enough, resulting in some of the most massive butthurt and epic lulz you'll ever see related to a MMORPG.
[edit] Summoning
niggas who had quit soon wished that they hadn't, because last Thursday, you could get your own fuckable bulldogs, along with other dogs and the ultimate furry shit. It was the new skill, Summoning! You could use it to summon a wolf, a cock, a pile of shit (I shit you not, take a look at the Familiars page. Lulz.) a big sucking thingy, and a fucking moose! If your Summoning level is over 9000, you could summon the ultimate familiar... Pedobear! These 2D sprites could do multiple things, like give you AIDS, cure you of previous AIDS, give you back AIDS, give you a circumsision, and other random, useless bullshit. Also, when Summoning level of over 9000 is achieved, you can ride a "Pony" which has a horn to give you free ass secks all day long.
[edit] Runescape faggotry hits Jewtube
Oh for the love of God take the camera away...
Only sandnigger try it irl.
WHO DA BOSS NIGGA?
LOL Z0MG THESE P1CS R FUNNIE AS HEALL!!!!! another sad attempt.
[edit] Life is over
On the 10th of December, 2007, Jagex announced an update that would shatter the only thing that gives meaning to the lives of thousands of High School dropouts, 13 year old boys and internet bullies. In a wide ranging update, it was announced that there would be some modifications, including:
- The removal of PKing;
- A "Fair Trade" system that would eliminate scamming as well as innocuous gift-giving;
- When some n00b gets owned by an enemy, they will leave their loot concealed underneath a gravestone. It will be unavailable for the vultures to take for a period of time, during which the owner of the gravestone may be able to get back in time to retrieve their trimmed armor; which won't appear to the looters anyway.
Basically, they turned Runescape, a game for babies, into a game for fetuses.
Widespread whining by many of Runescape's users immediately ensued. Runescape forums ran afoul with topics titled "OMG JAGEX WTF" and "Communist propaganda or Runescape?". It actually got so bad that the servers that hosted the forum actually overloaded and had to be shut down temporarily. Although many left in disgust, there's still a steady number of scammers, "online gf"s and guys whose "acount got haked!!!11oneoneone". ]]
[edit] Faggots? Killing MY Runescape?!
See the Youtube video above? All the kids crying over a pixelated game? You wouldn't believe it, but all this chaos was brought about by a single person.
Once this horrific update was released, one man was blamed for causing 12/10. His name is Rob (AKA Robtokill) and he's a kangaroo-humper from down-undah, maet. He also leads the 4chan /b/ wannabe RS clan called Korruption. Make no mistake, Korr (as they call themselves because typing anything more than 5 letters would cause a seizure) is not responsible for corrupting 'lol'. Instead, they are 99% furries who think Dragonforce is the heaviest fucking metal known to man. Approach with extreme caution. ..fuck that, just run. Run as fast as you can.
It was his idea to petition Jagex for change to the wilderness, hoping to succeed so he could slap his clan's name on the by-line and gain internet e-fame and convince fan-boys to join his otherwise dying hellhole of a RuneScape eyesore. Rob got little support from older members of Runescape, since they already knew that any change Jagex made always made the problem worse. Rob had an IQ lower than a bottle of mustard, and despite being an old-school player himself, he fucking did it anyway, since his clan was sinking deeper into death by the day.
But, wait! Lulz ensues! Rob eventually gets his wish as Jagex publically recognizes him the leader of the "clan support" movement. Rob fapped furiously that day, as did his clan's higher ranking officers. Buttsecks was also rampant in Korruption's ranks that day. And then, on 12/10, when RuneScape was fucked forever, Rob switched from having cum on his face, to having egg on his face, and the community shat upon him for starting a movement that the older members knew all along was foolhardy. Everyone in the Runescape Community boards Falcon Punched him as a token of their heartfelt appreciation. Korruption continues to lose members while gaining in homosexuality, and thus, nothing of value was lost.
TL;DR, if you see Robtokill in game, be sure to thank him for fucking up the wilderness.
[edit] Wait, there's moar!
- Bounty Hunter! Where players are shoved into a large pit full of ravenous animals that probably aren't even real humans. At least 100 of these things viciously rip your flesh apart, and just before you die, at least one of them says "owned nub olol". Makes you want to punch them in the dick, doesn't it?
- Fist of Guthix; sucks balls.
- Clan Wars; sucks the shaft.
Ah, and let's not forget Funorb (or Fuckorb, amirite?.), a website full of shitty shit-tastic shit little games that weren't ripped off from other places. Anyway, it costs money to play the games. And if you do indeed pay $5.95 dollars a month to play this game, just be An Hero. Not even kidding here. Just do it.
[edit] July 1st, 2008 - The Fucked Nerd's Day
Late Monday evening, thousands of sweaty basement dwelling geeks joined together on the internet to await the release of RuneScape HD! --- Many nerds screeched in delight as they began logging in to their fucked up accounts. After a while, many nerds got pretty intense and began the art of masturbation to their high leveled player's skill capes. "Oh xxmagerxx! The way you stroak your cape on my shaft is making my cock so fucking hot! --- huhuhuh, I commmingg!!! ahh!!!!" - Quote from a nerd.
It should be mentioned that all of Runescape's shat-on nonmembers are currently suffering severe butthurt because Runescape HD is still in Beta, meaning that if you want slightly better graphics, your mom has to pay $5.00 a month. HA HA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS! Jagex decided to cater to the butthurt nonmembers by closing the beta test
Jagex's Red Hot RuneScape Fap Vid
Not to worry, all you fans of the game's shitty graphics! It will still be available in low and high quality modes as well as the awesome new graphics! TEXTURES LOL, which will take 1.5ghz, a 3D graphics card and 256mb ram to load. This is significantly more than any Runescape player will have, because their mothers won't buy them a computer made after 1992.
[edit] Wikipedia
The wiki article on RuneScape was written by one guy in real life, tarikochi. As you can tell, they have an unquestionably fine dress sense.
[edit] THE TRUTH about Runescape players
This is 100% truth. I was having a arguement with some fag about that Runescape sucks and that if he thinks its good, he may aswell kill him self while he's ahead. I went on to tell him, WoW is a steaming pile of shit, and that beats Runescape. He said "YEAH! But. I typed some thing in once, i typed: RS PWNS WOW" Then he said,YEAH NOOB Then the teacher tells him to GTFO for shouting everything he said. Over 9000 days later; He comes back to me. He says: I've stopped playing Runescape. I say "Good." "INSTEAD IM PAYING FOR RUNESCAPE HD" Did you also know, he's ginger. What a surprise. THEN over 9000 days later, in the computer suite at school, he's fucking getting a boner from a video of two Runescape players hugging. WTF. The kid's name is Connor, his name sucks also.
[edit] RuneScape Movies
Jagex have even hired dodgy film directors to make short movies based on this great game. There is a non-existant contract between the director and Jagex that will end when the twelfth movie is released.
- RuneScape: The First Movie
- RuneScape: The Second Movie
- RuneScape: The Third Movie
- RuneScape: The Fourth Movie
- RuneScape: The Fifth Movie
- RuneScape: The Sixth Movie
- RuneScape: The Seventh Movie
- RuneScape: The Eighth Movie
- RuneScape: The Ninth Movie
- RuneScape: The Tenth Movie
- RuneScape: The Eleventh Movie
- RuneScape: The Twelfth Movie
[edit] Remakes (Yes)
Because of the phenomenal reception to these movies, the creator has decided to remake each movie with new dialogue, scenes, characters and some more promises that EA fail to keep.
- RuneScape: The First Movie
- RuneScape: The Second Movie
- RuneScape: The Third Movie
- RuneScape: The Fourth Movie
[edit] Remakes: RuneScape 5 Advertising Campaign
Three trailers were released to promote the upcoming Fifth Movie. Let's hype this movie and then get disappointed by it, guys!
[edit] The Book What I Wrote
Last Thursday Jagex decided to reap even more cash out of the 13 year old boys who plague its game by writing a book for them to wank over. "Fillatio at Falador" is available from all good bookshops and must be a good read as one of the guys who owns Jagex and Zezima both said so.
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
- This one website collects so much fail. How is that possible?
- An article about Zezima.
- A place were total no-lives hang around to create "friends" since they can't get friends IRL.
- guy tells the truth about the game
| RuneScape is part of a series on MMORPGs | Information
MMORPGs City of Heroes | Conquer Online | DAoC | Everquest | Final Fantasy XI | FlyFF | Guild Wars | Hero Online - Maple Story | Pangya | Ragnarok Online | RuneScape | Silkroad Online | Wikipedia | World of Warcraft Semi-MMORPGs Endless Online | Graal | Kingdom of Loathing | Progress Quest | Tibia |
|---|
[edit] Things that are preferable to playing Runescape
- Screwing a Messican
- Staring at newly painted brick wall covered in grass
- Everything
- Being an emofag
- Sucking a dick
- Sucking three dicks
- Etc
- In some cases, cutting off your own limbs
- Eating kitten souffle
- Decapitating yourself
- Being a hooker
- Over a billion other things that no one in their right mind would list.
Categories: Crap | Faggotry | Softwarez
