SAT
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The SAT is a Bastardized Test. It's known to all high school students as evil shit, it's designed by the sick fucks at collegeboard. The SAT's main purpose is to stress high school students out to the point of suicide, since America is becoming overpopulated (with teh azns).
[edit] OMG SAT
Before you go to college, you must first take an SAT; which stands for either Sick Anal Torture or Sexy-Ass Titties, nobody is really sure which. This prospect causes at least a dozen high school students to become an hero every single day. The SAT is made up of 75% anti-lulz, 25% bullshit, and 2% butterscotch ripple. Cheating is nearly impossible and not worth it. If college board catches you cheating on the SAT, they castrate you, throw battery acid in your face, and black-list you at every college known to man (even those known to nigras aswell!).
- The worst possible score is 600. You're heavily retarded if you even get close.
- The average score for your average dumbfuck is 1,500.
- The maximum possible score is 2,400. OMG WINNAR!!!ONEONEONE
- The average score for an Asian teen from an upper-middle class family is 3,730.
[edit] So what's the test like?
Analyzing TL;DR reading passages of shit nobody cares about.
Solving stupid ass math problems that you'll never use again in your life.
Writing an artful essay of outright lies on an "important" topic.
- PROTIP: You'd better throw back a couple energy drinks and bring essential survival gear, because the test lasts up to 5 days, depending on whether you decide to give up halfway through.
[edit] And what if I does good? (LIEK 1,600-2,200)
See: College
[edit] And if I don't do good? (LIEK UNDER 1,500)
[edit] And if I really phailz? (LIEK UNDER 1,000)
See: An Hero
[edit] And if I fucking ace this shit?
[edit] WAIT, WHAT ABOUT 1,501 to 1,599?
See: ITT Tech
[edit] And 2,201 to 2,399?
See: Corporate Cunts
[edit] ACT
Same fucking difference.
[edit] Practice Test
A practice SAT is provided for our many underage b& Gaiafag readers. NOTE: A real SAT is over 9000 times longer.
[edit] Writing Grammar Nazi Section
Find the error in the following sentences:
1) He was{A} such an hero{B}, to take it all away. We miss{C} him so, That you should know, And we honor{D} him this day. No Error{E}
2) WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY{A} MY FATHER TOOK ME TOO THE CITY{B} TO SEE A{C} MARCHING BAND{D}.
No Error{E}
3) Grammar Nazis{A} are an invaluable{B} part of society. Without{C} Grammar Nazis, typo jews would assume control of the world{D}.
No Error{E}
Correct Answers: B, B, E.
[edit] Mathematics Section
The number of students at a school that commit suicide each day due to the SAT is given by the function ƒ(x)=140-x2+x Where x is the number of days before the SAT. How many students commit suicide one week before the SAT?
- A - 49
- B - 91
- C - 98
- D - 103
- E - 140
The average score for whites on the SAT is proportional to the number of niggers that take it. If the average score is 1,510 when 210,000 niggers take it, what will the average score be when 225,000 niggers take it?
- A - 902
- B - 1177
- C - 1337
- D - 1618
- E - Cos Nigger2
Johnny can fuck 7 goats in one hour, Billy can fuck 11 goats in 20 minutes. If Johnny and Billy both fuck goats at the same time, how many goats can they fuck in a half hour?
- A - 7
- B - 11
- C - 20
- D - 33
- E - 97
Correct Answers: C, D, C.
[edit] Critical Reading TL;DR Section
- 1 Failing the SAT is not the total death sentence
- many would like you to believe. Plenty of rewarding
- jobs are available to the dumbfucks who score below
- average. Pudding hatch operator, taco flipper, gay porn
- 5 star, Encyclopedia Dramatica mod; the list of rewarding
- jobs available to those who failed the SAT goes on and
- on. Failing the SAT does not signify the end of a
- meaningful existence; instead it signifies the start of
- a less prestigious yet just as important career path.
The overall tone of this section is:
- A - Hopeful and Encouraging
- B - Sarcastic and Mocking
- C - Angry and Spiteful
- D - Accomodating and Condescending
- E - Bullshitting and Untruthful
When the author refers to a list of jobs, he is most likely trying to convey:
- A - A list of bullshit that dumbfucks can do
- B - Cool shit
- C - Shit nobody cares about
- D - A sense of encouragement
- E - A sense of juxtaposition
As used in line 3, available most nearly means:
- A - Open
- B - Single
- C - Shit nobody cares about
- D - Possible
- E - Asian
Correct Answers: E, A, C.
[edit] Asian Kid vs. SAT
- That kid held up three fingers when he said "two days" HAHA!!!
- Cause if you no study for SAT, you get hit with bamboo stick!!!
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
- SAT Discussion among stressed out kids. Easy trolling lulz, claim you have a perfect score and tell them they are doing it wrong!
- The lulzy video of an Asian kid vs. SAT.
- Tons of lulzy Yewt00b videos about teens studying for the SAT.
| SAT is part of a series on EDUCATION. | Places
School | College | Columbine | Delaware | East High School Salt Lake City | Harvard | ITT Tech | | Jokela High School | NUI | MIT | Success Tech | VTech People Student | The beautiful people | Jock | Emo | Scenester | Goth | Engineer Events Drinking | Date Rape | Homeschooling | Man points | Masturbation in showers | Taking the SAT | School Shooting |
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SAT is related to a series on AZNS. |
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