Playstation
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Playstation is teh worst console on the market, combining the awesome graphics of the SNES with the HUEGNESS of Your Mom.
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Playstation 1
The original Playstation was about as well built as Brian Peppers' face, and cost more than a Ferrari. It had notable games such as Final Fantasy 1-455, and Crash Bandicoot, who failed to make it to the Playstation 2 after being brutally murdered by Mario. Attempts were made to resurrect the series, but even Satan had better things to do.
Playstation 2
The Playstation 2 was Sony's next pile of shit. They worked on squeezing out this turd since Nintendo released the 64 in 1996. By 2000, it was still crap. Sony promised that the Playstation 2 would offer graphics and gameplay so realistic that it would be like "plugging into The Matrix" (I am not fucking making this up). Its graphics couldn't compete with that of the XBox or Nintendo Gamecube, or even later Dreamcast games. But it had Final Fantasy 455-910, plus Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2, a thrown-together shitfest of the Disney and Final Fantasy universes. This is the only shit more overhyped than Halo.
Playstation 3
The new version of Sony's Playstation that will likely never come out. If it ever did, people would trample each other to death in the snow to get at them, and proceed to sell them on eBay at a 400% markup.
P0wr!!
The Playstation 3 has awesome power. Even so, it can backtrack on the laws of physics. It runs on technology that is not even invented yet and never will be invented. Playstation 3 is Sony's answer to the XBox 360. The Playstation 3 will, of course, be compatible with the previous Playstation's shit games and will run them no better than a cardboard box can run a snail. It will also give niggas a chance to "pop a cap in yo' ass" with the upcoming 3413 GTA Games.
Awzome C0ntr0l d00d
The PS3 will feature a new control system where, once a user's hands have gone numb with the pain of holding a boomerang, they can control the game purely with thought, thus rendering the console useless. If this fails then they could also buy a Nintendo Revolution, which has no need for thought, but purely human presence.
0h sh1t fanboism
Despite the PS3 looking even more like George Foreman's Lean, Mean, Fat Reducin', Grillin' Machine and having worse graphics than Runescape, fanboys will suffer painfully of Playstation fanboy blindness (PFB), a state in which any Final Fantasy game will have better graphics than RL.
This is an example of Sony cock sucking:
LOL DONT BUY 360 - Angel Duarte.
The Black Triangle of Destruction
The Black Triangle of Destruction, (or BToD), is the Sony PlayStation 3's equivalent of the Microsoft Red Ring of Death, or RRoD.
The BToD began appearing heavily in the U.S market in October of 2007 and since then, reported numbers of effected systems are continuing to rise. The Black Triangle of Death itself refers to the image of a pulsating black triangle, appearing to bleed, and frozen onto the user's screen when an internal hardware failure occurs in the Playstation 3.
While the cause is still being investigated, preliminary P.R. leaks from Sony's gaming division estimate that up to 65% of PS3's may fall victim to this massive hardware malfunction between now and the 2007 Holiday season.
Further Reading
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Playstation is part of a series on Gaming. |
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