Marcab Confederacy

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“	Various planets united into a very vast civilization which has come forward up through the last 200,000 years, formed out of the fragments of earlier civilizations. In the last 10,000 years they have gone on with a sort of decadent kicked-in-the-head civilization that contains automobiles, business suits, fedora hats, telephones, spaceships — a civilization which looks almost an exact duplicate but is worse off than the current US civilization.	„
—L. Ron Hubbard

We are Marcab...we are legion...expect us!

A Marcab drone pwns a Hollywood Co$ building.

According to batshit insane Church of $cientology leader (redundant much?), David Miscavage, Anonymous and their current Project Chanology shenanigans are a massive Marcab Confederacy away team on a mission to create a Project Mayhem of sorts, in advance of a huge invasion fleet to fight LRH's forces of light on Battlefield Earth (also Mitt Romney's fave book).

The national anthem is "Never Gonna Give You Up".

1 Marcabians
2 Cover Blown
- 2.1 Breaking Broken News
3 Anon Responds
4 My Fleetz: Man The Harpoons!
5 The Assault Begins
- 5.1 Notes:
6 See Also
7 External Links

[edit] Marcabians

How the Marcabian fleet controls Anonymous

According to L. Ron, the Marcabians had an oppressive political system: "if a person was considered to be in contempt of court or anything like that, he was simply fried since there was a curtain of radioactive material which went clear across the front of the bench anywhere that a witness or anybody would stand, and so on."

Hubbard said that the Marcab Confederacy invented income tax as a means of punishment (okay...we get it Ron...you hæt the IRS!), with the death penalty imposed for making even the slightest mistake in returns — "one comma wrong and it's 'dead forever'." (Perma B& IRL). The Marcabians also appear to have been distinctly socialistic, having "had plan balanced economies" They were also keen on motor racing and every once in a while Scientologists undergoing auditing "will run into memories of race tracks and race-track drivers".

L. Ron isn't around to elaborate further beyond on his original 'observations', but it's pretty obvious that this story -as with most C0$ 'theology'- is somewhat akin to copypasta/creepypasta so go right ahead and pull some ridiculous shit from your butt and tack it on to the end of the 'story'.

For example, it is also known that Marcabs worship a god called Mudkips and survive on a steady diet of steroids They also will never:a. Give you up; b. Let you down; or c. Run around and desert you~~HOHOHO NEVERMIND I LOVE TESTICLES.~~ OP Here. Disregard that, I suck cocks.

[edit] Cover Blown

Anon's Deathstar (wallpaper): The Anonymous Flagship Longcat.

On Saturday Feb 16th, 2008, Anon's 1337 field agents intercepted intel from Co$ HQ in Clearwater, Florida.

[edit] Breaking Broken News

Call me a Marcab. STAT

"I have received intelligence": (Well, thank Christ for that.)

Apparently, DM has accepted an explanation for the sudden Anonymous uprising Phenomenon (Plague of those below 2.0 on Tone Scale) that defies all reason. Allegedly some brilliant Hubbard fanatic has convinced many senior Co$ that ~~the CRAB PEOPLE~~ The Marcabs, the Fourth or Fifth Invader Fleet and the Psychos have used the Internet to take control of thousands of net Minions.

These hapless victims are attacking Scientology under the direction of the Psychos' immediate Lieutenants: ARSCC (wdne). Several current and formerly overtly prominent ARS SPs are deemed to be Regional Directors of Operations for Anonymous. These Regional Directors will be targeted for express handling should legal efforts fail to win injunctions against the mass demonstrations.

"I've had this madness communicated to me from two different and usually reliable sources. Have they blown our cover?"

[edit] Anon Responds

got rAIDS?

“	Can one of you help me? I was getting my orders on the secure comm channel from the Marcabs for Operation JD and I've been getting conflicting orders from the German Secret Service, the Psychiatrists, the Nazi Commies, and the ARS forums. Can someone tell me who my immediate superior is, I'm just a lowly minion. The fleet on the dark side of the moon cannot wait much longer.	„
—Anonymous minion

“	According to your reference ID your direct superiors are actually the Zionists. The German Secret Service, Psychiatrists, Nazi Commies, and ARS have apparently been fucking with you. Contact Zionist Relay Station "Jewgolds" to reestablish contact.	„
—Marcab coordinator

“	SIERRA PAPA CENTRAL, SIERRA PAPA CENTRAL MAYDAY. STOP. MY ROCKET POWERED DC8 HAS CRASH LANDED BEHIND ENEMY LINES. STOP. HULL UNDER SUSTAINED BULLSHIT ATTACK. STOP. SMALL CONTINGENT OF LAWYERS APPROACHING FROM SOUTH. STOP. PLEASE ADVISE. STOP.	„
—Marcab pilot

“	Abort! About! We have not deployed Anti-Lawyer Devices to your sector yet! Get out! Get out! If you have enough fuel left in your rocket-powered DC-8s, fire up the Emergency Civil Procedure Smokescreens and Electronic Data Discovery Subcontractors. That should buy you enough time for a tactical retreat win!	„
—Marcab Commander

“	This is Captain Nigra of the cruiser Pedobear. Marcab Command has dispatched us to your sector with Anti-Lawyer devices and LAZERS fully charged. Be aware that the Lawyers have gone into defense mode and deployed dogs and possibly curtains. Prepare for an immediate GTFO. May the lulz be with you.	„
— Captain Nigra

“	Attention, this is the Science and Observation division. Ceilingcat ships have tracked your DC8 to zone AZNS-1 by TLDR-4. We have unconfirmed reports that this zone is directly over a jumbled series of tubes. Marcab Command advises that you make as many orders to Netflix as possible through your comms device, at least 100, thus filling the tubes and preventing the enemy from organizing until Captain Nigra can supply aid.	„
— Commodore Juggerbot

“	...Tests are partially inconclusive. F40PH performing above expectations against dogs but lack of furry hampers effectiveness. Curtains still pose threat. Designing possible solutions including giant shears and taping interior designers to the front. Not ready for combat. Projected date uncertain.	„
— F40PH Research report stub

“	Man, this crap would be considered too crazy for a Sci-Fi channel movie.	„
—Roger Ebert

“	We were responding to a distress call while testing the new ZA WARUDO prototype generator, it wasn't until a challenger appeared that we realized it was a trap....	„
—Sole Survivor of the W.T.F Minazo

“	This is Anonymous6141 reporting epic amounts of fail in all Scilon defenses. Legion has arrived. We were expected. And we shall not fail. Currently shoop da wooping everything inside with spraypaint.	„
—Agent6141

[edit] My Fleetz: Man The Harpoons!

Space Fleetz? Ya rly, we has them.

FOR MARCAB!

The Marcab Confederacy: You may not know what's going on but it's A+.

Marcabian Galactic Fleet engages Scilon Basestars and Thetan Resurrection Ship

The Marcabian 101st Airborne Division parachutes into Clearwater

The 4th (or 5th) Fleet employs the classic "It's a trap!" maneuver and breaks through the Co$ blockade of Earth

[edit] Tactics

Marcab Confederacy naval maneuvers are fairly simple but very effective. They consist mostly of charged lazers fired in salvos by their capital warships, and barrel rolls by their fighter craft to help strengthen their shields in critical times of heavy fire. Do not refer to outer space engagements as "Dog Fights". It lowers morale. A more effective and neutral term is "Fleet engagement"

[edit] Strategy

The Invasion Fleet is Assembling on the Dark side of Earth's Moon, decanting from warpspace near the orbit of Mars and activating cloaking systems to head to Lunar Space. Once the Fleet is assembled, they will abruptly deactivate cloaking and head towards Earth, beginning an Orbital Bombardment on any Earth Defense systems, be they ICBMs, the SDI, etc. If necessary, Orbital Bombardment will be employed against Terran Cities, though we will try to prevent that. We expect no opposition fleets or advanced defense, this being a Type 0 Civilization on the Kardashev scale. However, be careful and alert, ESPECIALLY after the loss of one of our task forces due to a simultaneous warp calculation fuckup and reactor FUBAR. Deus Ex Machina is in effect, and the main government of the Earth's opposition, the United States, even with an overextended military, has a heavy space presence that will at least delay our depleted forces. The European Union is more compact in size, has a smaller space presence but a ground invasion would be harder. Russia still has a large size and has the power to harass our invasion craft. China will be a fucking hard place to subdue, may have to leave them out. We will screen the planet as /i/nvaders begin to invade the major areas of population. Due to a relative weak ground force, we may have to deal with sustained resistance from Terran army and air forces, especially if Orbital Bombardment cannot be conducted for the political reason. Reinforcing fleets will arrive in a few days to provide more troops for a lengthy occupation and eventual assimilation into the Confederacy. Also, cocks.

[edit] Fleet Depth Chart

My other Zig's a Mudkips.

...Anonymous is here.

INCOMING!

Teh Fleet

Oh shi... Do a barrel roll!

DESUS attack

Marcabs: Ridin' Dirty!

42nd Bomber Wing = Serious Business

Operator Operator Operator Operator Operator...

Got Thetans?... Get LUL'Z!!!

PROFIT

4th (or 5th) Marcabian Interstellar Invasion Fleet

Operation: Chanology

Order of Battle

1st Fleet - Mudkipz Brigade: Led by Admiral Magoo

Anonymous Flagship-Longcat-class superdreadnought, Longcat

Slowpoke Interdictor Ship - Slowkip (Commander Tarp's stealth mongling ship).

Slowpoke Interdictor Ship - FUCK YEAH SEAKING

Battletoad Battle Cruiser - Pedobear

Battletoad Battle Cruiser - Diabeetus

Rickroll Carrier - Chocolate Rain

-1st and 3rd DESU fighter squadrons

-69th Mudkips bomber wing

Bodypillow-class Drone Carrier - So Ronery

Destroyer Squadron 666

EFG-class Destroyer - Applemilk1988

EFG-class Destroyer - Cracky-chan

EFG-class Destroyer - Hal Turner

EFG-class Destroyer - Failchan

2nd Fleet: Led by Rear Admiral Tay Zonday

Slowpoke Interdictor Ship - Goatse

Slowpoke Interdictor Ship - Candlejack

Slowpoke Interdictor Ship - Cockmongler

Battletoad Battle Cruiser - FGSFDS

Battletoad Battle Cruiser - LOLWUT

Electronic Warfare Squadron 42

GAME-class Electronic Warfare ship - YOU

GAME-class Electronic Warfare Ship (Captain Hatonymous) - JUST

GAME-class Electronic Warfare Ship - LOST

GAME-class Electronic Warfare Ship - THE

4th Fleet (the third fleet accidentally divided by 0 while calculating its warp jump) Led by Vice Admiral John Smith

Rickroll Carrier - Rule 1

-5th and 7th DESU fighter squadrons

-42nd Mudkips bomber wing

Rickroll Carrier - Rule 2

-6th and 10th ("The fightin' Baumans" Led by Anonyneko) DESU fighter squadrons

-79th Mudkips bomber wing

Rickroll Carrier - When I Was

-12th, 13th, 15th, and 20th DESU fighter squadrons

Slowpoke Interdictor Ship - Tacgnol

- 32nd Division, 'Catnarok'

Intradictor-class Destroyer - Rule 34

EFG-class Destroyer - LRonymous

KFC-class Blockade Runner - BOSS NIGGER

Destroyer Squadron 90

EFG-class Destroyer - LRon

EFG-class Destroyer - Miscarriage

EFG-class Destroyer - Cruise

EFG-class Destroyer - Xenu

115th Destroyer Battlegroup: Led by Vice Admiral Suiseiseki

Destroyer Squadron 120

EFG-class Destroyer - A

EFG-class Destroyer - C

EFG-class Destroyer - A

EFG-class Destroyer - T

Destroyer Squadron 33 (recently returned from crushing the Neebunok Rebellion)

EFG-class Destroyer - I

EFG-class Destroyer - S

Destroyer Squadron 2

EFG-class Destroyer - F

EFG-class Destroyer - I

EFG-class Destroyer - N

EFG-class Destroyer - E

Destroyer Squadron 55 (also recently returned from crushing the Neebunok Rebellion)

EFG-class Destroyer - T

EFG-class Destroyer - O

Heavy Artillery Squadron

DDoS-class Low Orbit Ion Cannon - Squadron Alpha

DDoS-class Low Orbit Ion Cannon - Squadron Beta

Overflow-class Longcat Flooder - Squadron Gamma

Chemo-class Gigaloader Shelling Ship - Squadron Delta

Ground Assets

1st and Only Marcabian Space Marine Army: Led by General WBM

2nd /k/ommando Regiment: Commander Hotaru Guy

3rd /k/ommando Regiment: Commander Richard "Mac" Machowicz

23rd /m/ech Brigade: Commander William Weaboo

33rd Lander Group

13th DC-8 Landing Craft Squadron

24th DC-8 Landing Craft Squadron

59th DC-8 Landing Craft Squadron

67th DC-8 Landing Craft Squadron

98th DC-8 Landing Craft Squadron

Occupation Forces

1st Killdozer Capture Brigade

2nd Killdozer Eradication Brigade

3rd Killdozer Occupation Brigade

1st Occupation Army

2nd Occupation Army

504th and 508th ROFLcopter short-range gunship brigades

Unimatrix 01 Data Transfer Fleet

1 of 3 Anonymous Borg Cube (Note, Chief Fleet Liaison Officer Eric Bauman is on board.)

2 of 3 Anonymous Borg Cube

3 of 3 Anonymous Borg Cube

1 of 1 Anonymous Borg Assimilation Cube (Currently cleaning up the mess left over from the Neebunok Rebellion crushing)

1 of 1 Anonymous Borg Sphere (Hosting Partyvan Wiki, in orbit around Mars)

711th Fighter Wing: Led by Admiral Sean

Syense Squadron 1 - Corporal Sean

Syense Squadron 2 - Commander Sean

Syense Squadron 3 - Vice Admiral Sean

Reconnaissance Squadron 4

CeilingCat-class Recon Ship - OIC whutyoudidthere

CeilingCat-class Recon Ship - Orly

CeilingCat-class Recon Ship - Yarly

CeilingCat-class Recon Ship - Ohai

Heavy Weapons Guard Ship - Nowai

Heavy Weapons Guard Ship - Yaweh

Experimental Divisions

155th Speedycats Interceptor Wing (Performing combat trials of the prototype Speedycat-class Interceptor and the GoGoGo overdrive module)

12th F40PH ADC (Anti-Dog-Curtain) Armored Division (Repurposing and refitting underway - Hypothesis operates on the fact that dogs are like furries, and may be equally susceptible to the crushing power of the F40PH. May break the stalemate during situations where dogs and/or curtains have been deployed.) Oh, and the daleks.

Terror-based Tactical Units

CAJ-1 (Covert Anonymous Jihad 1) - Expert operatives, armed with THE BEST terrorist weaponry household supplies can make. In dire situations, operatives will sacrifice their lives, detonating body-mounted spam bombs in crowded locations.

CAJ-2 (Covert Anonymous Jihad 2) - Masters of tubular warfare, utilizing troll weaponry to induce widespread epidemics of faggotry and fail.

/b/lack Ops

CLASSIFIED - EPIC-9001 clearance required to access data

[edit] The Assault Begins

uhhhhhh wut?

[edit] Notes:

DESU fighter squadrons often consist of close to 10,000 individual fighters, meaning that yes, we have OVER 9000 DESU fighters
Mudkips bomber wings, numbering around 500 per wing, take up approximately twice as much space as DESU fighter squadrons on carriers due to them needing moar fuel, and having to carry enough harpoons.
Required force size for a Marcabian Space Marine Army requires a full legion of 10,000,000 Anonymous. Seeing how this is the ONLY Marcabian Space Marine army, the numbers are a little fuzzy, and its closer to 100,000 Anonymous, which are subsequently broken down into regiments of 5,000-10,000 Anonymous, then down into companies of approximately 1,000 Anonymous, then platoons of 100 Anonymous, and finally squads of 10 Anonymous.
DC-9 Landing Craft Squadrons consist of 20 landing craft, each of which can contain upwards of 1,000 Anonymous.
The DESU fighter was introduced as a replacement for the LU-LZ34 Arwing due to its superior barrel roll capacity an on board implementation of the AAFADS-VIII (Active Anti-Fag Area Denial System, Mk. 8).
Furbishing of armored ground forces with the new F40PH ADCAL-II (Anti Dog-Curtain Armored Locomotive Mk. 2) is a slow process, due partly to the fact that its anti-curtain systems are still in experimental phases and is only truly effective against dogs, and also because of the fact that it only moves on very long rails. This problem is undergoing a workaround.

Marcabs? In my Pyramid Scheme? It's moar likely than you think.	They see me rollin...patrollin...	The Marcab flagship with Pew Pew lazors to zap dog curtains.	Black suit? Check! Fedora? Check! Let's roll!
Glory Marcabia!	Fleetz? Habeeb it nigger!	AFS Longcat's faggotry alarm is tripped.	Anonymous: ~~Basement Dwellers~~ Interstellar Invasion Fleet.
Anonymous: They're coming in fleets.	Marcabians: Expect us motherfucker!	one comma wrong and it's dead forever	Elroy & Jake Blues...expect them.
Sector 9 will win every time.	Suspected locations of the fourth (or fifth) invasion fleet	Fail 'writer' is fail	Marcabians enjoy motor racing.
:(	Marcabian allies...the Crab People; taste like crap, talk like people.	Giant head L. Ron speaks.	The Marcabian Goatse Stargate.
we are legion and we like fedoras.	legion is on standby	a flag of the confederacy	another flag of the fleet
Comin' right up!	Wii are coming...	Your desktop...are belong to Longcat	Marcab Shock Troops
Ready for Assimilation...

[edit] See Also

[edit] External Links

Marcab Confederacy is part of a series on Scientology

(Collapse) (Expand) 0

LOL TECH:	Scientology - Dianetics - Disconnection - Child Abuse - Scientology's History of the Universe - Sec Check - Freewinds - Sea Org - Glossary - Religious Freedom Watch - Volunteer Ministers - OSA - Space Opera
SCILONS:	L. Ron Hubbard - David Miscarriage - Tom Cruise - Scientology Agents - Footbullet Man - Rogues Gallery - Suri Cruise - Terryeo - Heaven's Gate - The Regime - Evil Jacket Guy - Joe Feshbach - VaLLarrr - Anonymous Hate Group - Jake Vigil - John Carmichael - Freezone - Captain Bill Robertson - Danny Masterson - Will Smith- Tommy Davis - Oschaper - Kendrick Moxon
NOTORIOUS SPs:	Anonymous - Wise Beard Man - Jason Beghe - Gas Mask Girl - Magoo - New Zealand Fail Guy - Message from Scientology - Shawn Lonsdale - Rorschach - New York Nurse - Moralfags - Raidfag Wench - James Packer - Epic Nose Guy - Stu Wyatt - Tommy Gorman - Psychiatrists - Marcab Confederacy
ENTURBULULZ:	PROJECT CHANOLOGY (portal page) - Enturbulation - A Scientologist's Guide to 4chan - The Geterator - Mrfetch - ReligionIsFree.org - You Found the Card - /i/ - alt.religion.scientology - Complete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX