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From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Emo (pronounced "re·tard·ed") is a music fashion dumbass movement which requires followers to apply heavy eye-liner, wear overly tight jeans, enjoy large cock (not that they ever get any), dye their hair black (don't forget to skip the shower) and grow a long fringe to help warp their vision of the world. This warped fringe vision causes the wearer to insult people who are fucking depressed IRL by making a fad of feigning their own dire depression. Emo music consists of insane amounts of moaning about how great it is to wear the above mentioned eye-liner / vision of the world warping fringe / black hair / tight jeans but how terrible it is that hawt emo girl X doesn't want to fuck you. Some emo songs deviate slightly, encouraging male listeners to "Ahhh, c'mon, FUCK A GUY!" Conclusive scientific evidence suggests that emos are more hated than black people, Jews, pig fuckers and your mom combined. All emos, without exception, belong to the Emocrat Party. They all suffer from severe narcissism, leading them to believe that they alone know what pain is, and that no one understands them. They all believe that their affliction could not be worse, that their life in their quiet suburban house house with their own television and computer in their room is the worst in the world. Emo is a "self-fulfilling prophecy". The more you bitch about no one liking you, the more no one will like you. Emos have no ability to look at the world around them objectively, an ability probably hindered by their retarded hair. If they would, they'd realize that being middle class and white ain't so bad. Unfortunatly they increase in numbers faster than they decrease in numbers.

Origins

Emos have emerged due to large scale mix breeding of homosexuals, punks, liberals, and Jews. Emos wear tight clothing due to the fact that they have sensitive, feminine skin passed down from their brother-dads. They hide and want to be alone because they are too shy to contact anyone, which is partly contributed from the Jewish trait of fearing criticism. Also, they feel that their flaws are immediately visible from just their presence (another trait passed down from the Jews, who are very superficial people).

If an emo is or has either of the following, he or she will become more inclined to ending it all in a suicidal fashion:

• They have been physically abused in the past.
• They are cruelly forced to take out the trash or do other hard physical labor.
• They have been made fun of over the internet.
• They have been compared to a goth.
• They've had their MySpace poetry criticized.

Git 'em Young

In an interesting trend, young teenagers have begun adopting the emo mantra as their new Jesus, even though they will nevar rarely cut themselves. They enjoy the thrill of straightening their rat's nest of hair pile of black hay straggly mop that rests atop their head and wearing tons of makeup to cover their pimple-ridden pubescent faces. They take black-and-white pictures of themselves and define themselves as "misunderstood" on their MySpace, Facebook, LiveJournal, Friendster or Bebo pages. Their usernames usually consist of serious descriptions of how they truly feel inside and are usually encased in a variety of symbols e.g. xXDarknessSurroundsXx, ^^)MyAngelCries(^^, X+LoveLikeFire+X. Many think that turning emo will instantly turn them hot.

The common path to emo generally follows these steps:

• 1. They have a happy cheerful carebear MySpace profile up until they're 12.
• 2. One of their fat friends gets depressed and makes an emo MySpace.
• 3. 12 year old friend sees this and goes OMG TAHTS SU KEWL!!11 and copies them.
• 4. They straighten their disgusting hair wig that they haven't washed in 3 months, put on a lot of makeup and take pictures.
• 5. Post with comments like "NOONE UNDERSTANDZ ME!!11 M I DESTIND 2 NEVR FYND LUV???"
• 6. After getting a ton of attention saying "aww hunny dont wory im here 4 u :)", they start complaining about EVERYTHING.
• 7. Become an hero.
• 8. Repeat step 8
• 9. ????
• 10. Profit! NO FUCKING PROFIT! THEY DINE IN HELL!!!1

Here is a list of common complaints made by emos. What they do to solve each problem follows in bold text.

• I just switched schools and I don't know anyone here! BAWWWWWWWWWW T_T
• I was backstabbed by a friend! BAWWWWWWWWW T_T
• I'm always alone! BAWWWWWWWWW T_T
• My parents are probably going to get divorced! BAWWWWWWWWW T_T
• I never have any money! BAWWWWWWWWWW T_T
• I hate my life! BAWWWWWWWWWW T_T
• My internet friends aren't talking to me anymore! BAWWWWWWWWW T_T
• My parents want me to see a shrink because of my low self esteem! BAWWWWWWWWW T_T
• People keep telling me to get a life and stop BAWWWWWWWWWing! BAWWWWWWWWW T_T

Current Situation

The current incarnation of emo has basically replaced all other teenage culture (read gays and little/teenage girls who went crazy over the boybands) as the dominant one. The slightly faded "vintage" clothing and track suits are available at any mall and often displayed in tandem with the most mainstream wares. Because the accouterments and garb are very easy and cheap to obtain, it makes the style accessible to you. In earlier times emo was a generally male-dominated subculture with very few females observed at shows and events (mostly because all present looked like girls anyway). Now, however, due to the ease of obtainment of the requisite style items, many females have become involved in the subculture. Please see the above photo for an illustration of a typical specimen. There may be no easily discernible differences between the standard teenager and someone involved in the emo scene.

Often, participants are referred to as "emo kids," "emofags," just "fags," or any combination of these. Rednecks often refer to the participants simply as "wrist-cuttin' hippies". Normal people often say that "emo" is short for "gay trannys that listen to bad music". Everyone else calls them "failures at life". Most emo's are just fucking posers

Emo kids are a common plague on sites such as MySpace, Facebook, Bebo and YouTube as these sites offer the perfect digital mediums for them to display their tormented souls to the world.

EmoTube (click to expand)

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Emo Poetry (click to expand)

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Bel-Air Emos

Now this is a story all about how my
My life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a bleeding just slit right there
I'll tell you how I became the failing emo of bel-air.

In West Philadelphia born and raised
On the internet is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', postin' pictures of myself that I thought were all cool
And all cuttin' my wrist outside of the school
When a couple of chavs they were up to no good
Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said, "You're moving to a mental hospital in Bel-Air"

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was a bore
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. I'll cut myself more!"

I pulled up to the home about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabby, "my life is nothing!"
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the first emo of Bel-Air.

Are you emo?

Chances are that if you think you're emo, you're really either gay, a fucktard, Preston or some combination of the three. Followers of the emo cult are menaces to society and should be destroyed on sight (see school shooting). However, shooting emo kids on sight is rarely needed, for a proper verbal rape will lead to them to suicide (but not before posting about it on the internets). Thus, a conclusion is drawn that IRL trolling of emo kids leads to IRL and OL lulz. Listening to any of the below bands definitely categorizes you as emo and it may become necessary to sacrifice yourself for the greater good of mankind.

Emo Bands of Today:

• My Chemical Romance
• Simple Plan
• Metro Station
• Panic! at the Disco
• Tokio Hotel
• Hawthorne Heights
• Linkin Park
• AFI
• Taking Back Sunday
• The Used
• Funeral for a Friend
• Fall Out Boy
• Green Day
• Bullet for my Valentine
• The Devil Wears Prada
• Atreyu
• Bring Me The Horizon
• As I Lay Dying (Moar liek "As I Lay Crying", amirite?)

Poser Emo bands:

• The Get Up Kids
• Jawbreaker
• Hot Water Music
• Rites of Spring
• Sunny Day Real State
• The Promise Ring
• Pedro the Lion
• Saves the Day
• Texas Is the Reason (why all kids are emo)
• Cap'n Jazz

Emo Over The Ages

Emo has had a long history in many forms, from the early Beatniks (named after the constant beatings they would receive) to today's contemporary emo kids:

ERA:	EMO KIDS WERE:	DRUG OF CHOICE:
1920's	Flys	Shit, Dead Animals, sweat, Pot
1930's	Everybody	Hooch, Roadkill, Pot
1940's	Nazis	Hitler, little boys, Pot
1950's	Beatniks	Poetry, Bongo Drums, Pot
1960's	Hippies	Pot, Acid, Pot
1970's	Disco	Cocaine
1980's	New Romantics	Ecstasy, anal sex
1990's	Grunge	Heroin, Flannel, Starbucks Coffee
2000's	Emo	Zoloft, Wellbutrin, NyQuil, Morrissey

National Emo Kid Beatdown Day

Although emo kids have natural predators like pedophiles and Battle Cats, their population is growing exponentially. Emo kid hunting is the only activity which unites jocks, stoners, wiggers, metalheads, cops, nerds, punks, geeks and goths. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT EVERY DAY IS EMO BEATDOWN DAY.

Emo Kid Beatdown Day Videos (click to expand)

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Russia declares war!

Shortly before Russia invaded South Ossetia, legislation was drafted that would end the cancer that is killing Russia once and for all. Butthurt emos across Russia protested with angsty and heartfelt slogans like "Kill the state in yourself" (Moar liek "Kill yourself," amirite?) and "A totalitarian state encourages stupidity." Much to their chagrin, the emos' secret ties to the Nazis have been exposed by the Russian government.

Myspace Emo kids

MySpace is the primary breeding ground of pure gay emo faggotry. It is not yet known why so many people devote so much time looking at pure shit. Studies have shown that Tom, the founder of MySpace has PEDO POWERS that cause all 16-year-old girls to sign up to his site. It is obvious that these sort of sites would appeal to emos, as it lets them bleat on about how miserable their pampered fucking suburban lives are and expect people to actually give a shit. Although nothing has yet been proven, preliminary results show that Tom emits a special type of gamma ray that makes gay emo fag girls horny. Another theory is that Tom is Adolf Hitler, and that using MySpace is similar to wearing the Jew identification badges Hitler used.

Recently, MySpace has lost its credibility with the emos, and they have since flocked over to EmoScene.com (plz troll). It is your duty to follow the emos to this new site and show them they are a sheep following a silly trend.

Common Emo Behavior

• Crying.
• Taking self portrait pictures.
• Having hair that is significantly longer in front and stupidly dyed by your mom.
• Cutting.
• Crying.
• Attending art school in hopes of being someone important.
• Wearing pants that are TOO fucking tight.
• Threatening to become an hero but usually never following through.
• Writing trite poetry about misery and gloom.
• Crying.
• Emo kids spend an astounding 30% of their time at the mall, 20% of their time crying like bitches and the other 50% on MySpace.
• Diagnosing themselves with Asperger's syndrome. And probably being right.
• Crying.
• Getting eating disorders and bragging about it.
• Posting at The Cave of Dragonflies.
• Ruining every user-contributor-based website ever.
• Drawing retarded pictures of their "x".
• Taking themselves more seriously than Wikipedia.
• Over exaggerating their "emotions".
• Forsaking their intelligence in order to fit in with the emo faggotry.
• Thinking that they're superior to everyone else who are not emo.
• Did we mention crying?

Curing the emo plague

Despite expending millions of the tax payers' dollars on researching the topic, scientists have yet to come up with an effective cure to Prozacus shouldatakus (commonly referred to as "emoitis"). The following suggestions have been made by various well-respected individuals in the medical field:

• Prozac.
• Death by blunt trauma, preferably delivered with a product from Hot Topic. For example, a "Hello Kitty" pencil case filled with bricks, rocks, or the world's tears. Don't worry about hurting them, emos aren't people. Besides, they're already feeling too much pain to be able to experience any more!
• Using razor blades as the vector for a drug-resistant, emo-targeting strain of tetanus. To save money on research and genetic engineering costs, the "emo-targeting" part doesn't really need to be implemented; emos are the only people who cut themselves. Alternatively, razor blades coated with an anticoagulant would work just as well. Remember, the fact that they're all already "bleeding their hearts out" will make them die from blood loss that much quicker!
• Shutting The Fuck Up.
• Protracted nuclear bombardment of Fall Out Boy concerts, although you'd have to wrest control of the world's nuclear arsenals from the jews first.
• Causing an emo to become an hero through IRL or OL trolling rewards you with over 9000! bonus lulz.

Gallery of Emo

What every larval emo has on their MySpace. Dubya has emo moments. An emo will pride itself on ridiculous hair. She likes to scissor! An emo in its larval stage. Curing Emocephalitis. Emo: goth for pussies. Black Metal fans aren't that different, really.

[Collapse Gallery] [Expand Gallery] 0

Some emus are also emo. It's often hard to tell the difference between Male and Female emos. dA-type account. An emo's response to this page. It quickly got reverted and he is now blocked. Notice how every word is capitalized and the misspellings. He's at it again, this time less detectable but still as stupid with more misspelled words. Large sections of this page were missing. Emo girl cut her vagina. SRSLY... ? wow, can you even see through those things??? You're doin it wrong! How emo fags masturbate. ...At least he thinks he's sexy. Bean is just a little more depressed "then" others. Emo Internet Disease. They once were twins till along came emo... Bitch Don't Care Either.... Old meme. Emo nig. An example of an emo shirt from the shit ass emo movie A Nightmare Before Christmas. Wild Emo appears! Where's Waldo version. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Furremo. Emo hardcore to the max. True Emo. A Typical Emo Band. Their very own cereal! A safe alternative to cutting. An emo in denial about homosexuality. Emo gang. YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. Common emo ritual. Emo kids are sometimes as fat as they are gay. The same kid as before, only comtemplating why he'll die a virgin. Notice the all fat? The chin count is around 4. All Emos enjoy cutting as they are worthless. This Emo is also a wiccan. ZOMG PIME TARADOX. Typical gay emo boy.also gets all the ladies. Evidentially teh emo fags cry green. Slightly wigger in other pictures, this clown has furfag fetishes with a slight twist of emo. To fufill these addictions, it preys on MySpace by flooding pictures of itself, whoring for comments. A goth teaches an emo how to seppuku. Hooray for Darwin! Those damn azns... Tried drowning himself in a tar pit. Damn emo. Moar emo bulletins? Even the furries are getting emo! Hardcore Emo. Vegetables are emo too. Cut in the wrong fucking place. All emos are the same. Yes, emos can be black too. lol @ wannabe emo. h4x0r3d. h4x0r3d. sometimes an emo needs a good beating. 12 year olds like pretending to be emo. Biggest emo epic fail evar. Fat 12 year old emo. Why we kill 12 year olds before they turn into hardcoar emos. Real emos take pictures with Patrick from Spongebob. fat 25 year old emo. an emo in its early stage of development. Donald Duck is emo. Emos have taken the Weaboo's Jesus died 4 ur sinz. Emo bitch using makeup to attract attention. It's new and its emo!! And it's only $3,000,000,000,000!!!!!! This emo uses Photoshop, but obviously has no idea what the fuck she's doing. Probably because she's so fat I add black to my pictures to like, symbolize how dark my life is. This is a emo! Emos are huge ass camwhores. Fucking dirty scumy emo. They have a whole town of these fuckers in Ireland

See Also

• Operation Jewtube
• Mixcds
• Emosexuality
• Hamlet
• Emogame
• Cross my heart with a knife
• National Emo Kid Beatdown Day
• WHEN_I_WAS
• Fbr trash
• The polar opposite of emo
• Emoscene.com
• Perfection dolls
• Cutting
• Scene
• Suicide Girls
• Emotion Eric
• Chavmo
• thats not funny my brother died that way
• BAWWWW
• TCK

Moar Videos

• ILive4Hardcore threatening to block anyone who disagrees with his views!!! BAWWWWW!!
• ILive4Hardcore emo kiddie crying and whining about people eating meat! Also point out the blatant contradiction that he pigs out on McDonald's! BAAWWWWWWW!!!
• ILive4Hardcore emo kiddie going insane and crying about his science presentation!! BAWWWWWW!!!!
• ILive4Hardcore crying over his crush.... BAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!
• ILive4Hardcore crying about his YouTube comments and ratings.... for the fifth time... BAWWWWWWW!!!
• Some dyke chick tells the truth about Emos
• Ian MacKaye pwns Emo
• Video: Goth parodies Emo
• A typical emo song.
• Guy pwns an egoistical emo in denial fag.
• J-emo kid defends an emo Youtube user, comment him and he'll remove them due to butthurt! BAWW!!
• What's this? Two 16 year old girls doing the emo song. A severe and disturbing case of hipster irony.
• I must be emo; an emo documentary
• Lol, emos
• An Emokiller
• High Priest of the Church of Noemo

External links

• The Original Emo.
• Emo hair and hairstyles.
• Emo forums.
• Emo Hairstyles Photos.
• 'How to' book of suicide.
• How to go undercover/identify your target!
• The dangers of emo
• http://www.themoscowtimes.com/article/1010/42/368995.htm LOLB& in Soviet Russia. EAT COMMUNISM]
• http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=65866025273 Facebook group of Emo kids BAWWWING at being B& in Soviet Russia.
• http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=33894070464 Facebook group of Emo kids claiming to be different than everyone else.
• http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=10046290995 Facebook group of Emo kids showing love to those who disagree with the emo fad.
• http://enigma-shadow.deviantart.com/ Emo kid on DevianTART. big suprise.
• http://c0ntr01d0g.deviantart.com/ another emo on DevianTART.
• http://xcrimsoneyesx.deviantart.com/ uh, MOAR?? oh god.
• http://candy-snow.deviantart.com/ okay, it could go on forever..