Sandalfon
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Shockingly fat and disgusting beast, who's roomate is none other than the misogynist omicronayin who was originally known as vitki before he was suspended on LiveJournal. She can be seen with a little scrawny, fallen angel icon around Livejournal; however, Sandalfon is no angel or Skinny Minnie.
Contents |
[edit] The Games Lard Ass Plays
sandalfon is known for posting vile posts about other LJ users in her Livejournal and locking her posts from view. However, an entire "website" was created with copies of all offensive posts so people would understand she's not the kind, loving, gentle, grandmotherly-type she'd like others to believe she is.
[edit] The Lunatic Fringe
A failure of the mental health community, Sandalfon attends the same mental health clinic as vitki. Presently using food stamps to support her Snickers and Twinkies addiction, Sandalfon spends her days cleaning Vitki's fishtank, getting neighborhood men drunk in hopes of getting laid, and logging into Livejournal to preach about Armageddon and The End Times. A rabid fundy with a new-age flavor to her so-called spirituality, Sandalfon will go on about how the world is coming to an end, and those who haven't evolved in consciousness and love, will suffer the wrath of the bad-ass God of the Old Testament and his infamous son, Jesus.
The enemies of Sandalfon which her angry god will take out and send to hell are numerous. This would be anyone who doesn't support vitki in his misogynistic tirades, who disagrees with her on all the stupid shit she says, or tells her she needs to lose a minimum of two tons of lard off her extremely fat ass.
[edit] The Pathological Liar
One of the greatest lies Sandalfon told was she weighs only a "little over two hundred pounds." However, evidence has shown she was only speaking about one of her ghastly thighs when she made this claim. Sandalfon has been known to claim to have had relationships with other men around her apartment complex. Naturally, Sandalfon considers getting a man drunk on beer and giving him a blow-job a relationship.
[edit] The Imaginary Boyfriend
Sandalfon has repeatedly alleged she has a boyfriend named Dan from the apartment complex. This would be the same person who vitki said "on his old deadjournal account"to "Tell Dan that if he's even *slightly* gay or can at least pretend that it's a woman's mouth around his cock, I'd love to suck him off." Of course, there is no one which vitki wouldn't want to fuck, even this imaginary boyfriend.
When Sandalfon was called on this imaginary relationship, she stooped so low as to post a fake "message from Dan" on her livejournal, where he supposedly said: "Hi, I'm Dan. I've read what some of you have wrote in your journals and I'm here to help set the record straight. Juanita and I are involved with each other. We met over 4 years ago and have broken up a couple of times during that time. Even though Juanita can be a bitch at times, she has a good heart for other people, she is liked by a lot of people here...The fact that my personal information that Juanita posted on her journal, that later got to the manager here, did make me very very angry but I never stopped loving Juanita. We still have a very close and intimate relationship." Sandalfon was too lazy to create a fake account, and supposedly either copy/pasted an email, or dictated this so-called 'message from Dan.'
However, everyone knows this message was written by the rabid Hippo herself, to cover for the fact she couldn't get the real Dan to show up and post on her LJ, since he's never been her boyfriend. And if there had been a "close and intimate relationship" Dan wouldn't have gotten mad when the manager of the apartment complex alerted him to the latest lies from sandalfon the "crazy fat lady who gossips to much," to discover to his horror she was telling the entire LJ community they were having a sexual relationship, and he was her boyfriend. Sandalfon promptly removed the 'message from Dan' shortly after, before he could find said evidence himself.
[edit] The Blow Job
Sandalfon is known for giving vitki a blow job online. When Vitki was told he couldn't possibly get a woman -- as insane and ugly as he is -- Vitki asked Sandalfon to give him a blowjob to prove to other LJ users he could get one. Immediately, Sandalfon obliged, so vitki could prove a point. After this incident, it became painfully apparent Sandalfon needed more medication than her therapist is prescribing for her.
