WE MADE IT TO THE FINALS! NOW WE NEED YOUR VOTES MORE THAN EVER!!!
Encyclopedia Dramatica is in contention for the 2nd Annual Mashable Open Web Awards for the wiki category. With your help, we can beat the Wikipedia menace! Plz vote for ED by going here; you can vote once per day, per email address, ballot stuffing encouraged! Just don't forget to confirm the vote via e-mail. VOTE OR DIE!!!

Schizophernicangel

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search

Schizophernicangel

Aliases	Schizophernicangel, Aimz
Faggotry	Whale, Art thief
Drama Level	Chortle Worthy

Schizophernicangel is an enormous amorphous mass of some kind hailing from Great Britain. Lacking the manual dexterity in her huge sausage fingers to put pencil to paper, she's forced to seek other methods of amassing page views. With a cheap disposable camera and a greasy urine stained mattress at her disposal, she bravely sullied forth into the world of camwhoring.

Camwhoring for page views works best when one is beautiful, or exhibitionist. Lacking beauty, Schizophernicangel opted for the latter.

[edit] Abhor the Witch

So deep.

An example of her modeling, now removed from dA

Nude snapshots = ART!!!

AM I AN ARTIST NOW?!

No one is quite sure what started her on the path to unwarranted self importance, whether is she drew the attention whore card during a standard reading of her own future, or she felt like BAWing irl wasn't good enough. Whatever the reason she attempted to squeeze her over-sized TCP/IP packets through the tubes of the internet. Like any unique and totally not emo denizen of the internet, she started her foray into attention faggotry by posting her oh so deep poetry.

The logical progression from this point was, of course, to be a camwhore. Thus, she tried her hand at BBW (Big Beautiful Women) modeling, in order to maintain her healthy diet of everything in fucking sight. Thoroughly convinced that she wasn't pretentious enough about her lack of any aesthetic worth or talent, she joined dA and uploaded her pictures. This was met with a mix of chubby chasers fapping, art majors BAWWWWWing about the pics not being art and every other person simultaneously puking. In fact these pictures were so amateur, that the lack of proper lighting and thought put into them distracted the pretentious tartlets long enough to criticize her before clawing their own eyes out. She responded to these critics with such witty replies as:

“	dont bully me just because you dont like yourself you pathetic imature twat and you need to Grow up and get a fucking life you know what i dont care what you think i dont see you having the guts to do it! NOW FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!	„
—Aimz, LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I DON'T CARE

“	everyone has a right to there opinion but not to the point were youre bullying someone in to stop doing what they do im a bbw nude model ok itsmy job im fucking proud now stop being so damn frigid	„
—Aimz, I'm a srs model, k

Not to limit herself to quick snapshots of her many rolls, she decided that taking pictures actual artists took and fucking with the hue would quell the ART RAGE of her critics. Spending 500 hours in ~~MSPaint~~Photoshop she shat out such masterpieces as a picture of a seal, obviously taken by herself or used with consent of the original photographer, colored BLUE. Surely no one could question such raw creativity and mastery of the shoop.

[edit] He Who Allows the Alien to Live, Shares its Crime of Existence.

I don't even know what to say

Most likely using her vast powers she coerced some poor sap into marrying her. Luckily he came to his senses and quickly divorced her, declaring he had enough of her shit. Soon after whoring herself on the internet, she was approached by another chubby chaser, grammar nazi and fellow philosopher Rob. They quickly realized they would both die alone, so instead opted to be alone together.

Rob, never one to follow the crowd, posts his poetry, rants and favorite songs on his gothic themed Myspace, which he had to completely redesign himself because someone 'hacked' him. He assures his imaginary friends and fans that this totally wasn't his fault. I mean, it's not like anyone ever falls for phishing or posts the information necessary to reset their password publicly, right? This must have been quite the accomplishment for the hacker as his profile states that his IQ is 147, and since he put it on his profile it must be true.

To give Rob the benefit of the doubt, however, he may be a huge troll merely posing and waiting for the chance to inflict maximum damage as her best friend did. How could you put up with someone who, being so fat, fails at going back to the kitchen?

Can you feel her deepness?	Believe it or not, this chick was pic was fappable once	People actually request this shit	Can't even lick her own boob, tsk
Close up of the chins	Not even 4am could make her more ugly	Can you resist the temptation?!	Holy fuck, wall of text - formatting = pain
The trick is not to puke while looking at this	Just being a whale gets her tired	They'll have to pry him out from under her	Kane: Great troll or greatest troll?
I AIN'T NO WHORE, I JUST POST NUDE PICTURES	He's so sensitive	Oh gawd there's more of this?	Please, lord raptor Jesus, stop...
What're you, 15 and on Facebook?	He felt like giving us a double dose of goodness	Most likely he's only angry cause his page was tubgirl'd and he mistook it for Aimee	Hey guise, I'm pretentious AND witty
You'd think she'd be better in the kitchen...	Lol, I didn't steal this at all guyz	Someone actually likes her big crotch	She doesn't give a fuck what you think
It's only a matter of opinion, you guyz!	How do I defied purpose of art site?	What happens when you criticize her amazing "artwork"