User:Schol r lea

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jay Osako, AKA Rev. First Speaker Schol_R_LEA;2, is a notoriously obese attention whore and fake bisexual who once was known to infest Usenet, and has lately been seen on the message boards for several crappy webcomics. He is a known LJ User and often accused of listening to filk music and writing fanfic. He has admitted that one of his best friends fucks dogs (though he won't say which one it is). He is a fucking loser, but I'm sure you could have guessed that. He claims to be both a Discordian and a Finaglist, and between psychotic breaks works as a computer geek. He created and moderates an LJ community, GenderShifters, for himself and his fellow trannie wannabe otakus. He lives in the state of denial, residing in the communist nation known as the People's Republic of Berzerkeley, despite the fact that he is never been either a student nor a teacher at UC and thus has no earthly reason to be there.

In the end, the only thing you need to know about Schol-R is that he is an otakukin who claims to be a time traveller from a future world he once read about in a role-playing game rulebook, which is proof that he is batshit crazy.

Warning!		This contributor is a chronic masturbator. You can help by contradicting everything. Please remove this notice after revisions.

Stupid and Painfully Unfunny Shit Schol-R has Said

"Which is more elegant, a limousine or a Formula one racer? The answer depends on whether you're headed for the opera or for the finish line."

"I am a cynic, and one of the common faults of cynicism is the assumption that anyone who isn't an utter fool is just as cynical as you are."

"The terms 'liberal' and 'conservative' have no meaning, and anyone who uses them as if they do is a fool."

"Western society has worked so hard to avoid Orwell's future that no one noticed when we ended up with Huxley's instead."

"Objectivity is the scientific principle that an individual is never completely right. Objectivism is the religious belief that The Group is always completely wrong. Try not to confuse the two."

"The 'Religious Right', once you get beyond their rhetoric of personal 'salvation', is solidly collectivist and concerned primarily with social conduct."

Regarding marital fidelity, as espoused by US theocrats: "Concienciously following a set of personal-relationship rules, set down by a society that existed for only two decades of this century (1940-1960), died out a long time ago, and never really followed them anyway, which a handful of idiots who claim to speak for the nation worship as 'family values' despite the fact that following them is more destructive to families than not following them."

"No, the human race is not extinct yet, much to my surprise. Still, I have a deep and abiding faith in the fundamental stupidity of all human beings (including myself), and doubtless we shall find a way to destroy ourselves soon."

"It is becoming clear that Economics is a topic without a subject... 'the market' is the luminiferous ether of the 20th century."

"Logic and Reason are the sharpest of intellectual scalpels, but a surgeon who operates without clamps, sutures, bandages and antiseptic will still lose the patient."

"People only really 'think' either when they are in a contemplative mood (where it usually has little lasting impact), or else in the midst of a situation which these scripts don't cover - emergencies, major life decisions, solving engineering problems, and so on - and even then the flow of thought tend to slip into the pre-existing channels. To put it into programming terms, critical thought is the brain's exception handling mechanism - and as such, has all the strengths and weaknesses that go with the idea of exception handling. The human brain simply isn't structured to be continuously self-aware, and it is possible that no 'intelligent' being (whatever 'intelligence' means) could be."

"This is the Golden Age; we are living at the pinnacle of human achievement to date. This is a realization which has left me awake at 3AM in a cold sweat on many nights."

"The majority of people are perfectly willing to wear The Man's collar in exchange for safe streets at night, a full belly and trains that run on time, and if some people suffer from it, they say 'they brought it on themselves by not going along'."

"A government, in the end, is nothing more than a mutual agreement about who can use coercive force, and when, backed up by a combination of custom and fear."

"If people stop thinking a government exists, then it doesn't."

"[M]aybe that's the real revolution we need - for people to realize that government is nothing more than a figment of their imaginations, and that so long as they trust their own judgement and don't back down from the wielders of force, the only one who can make them do or not do something is themselves... Interestingly, it is widely observed that the 'stand up against oppressors' part is easier for most people than the 'trust your own judgement' part is."

"Terrorism only works if people agree to be terrorized."

"[T]he main weapons of the French Revolution were the National Assembly, and later, the Committees of Public Safety and the Revolutionary Tribunal."

"[I] in politics, ideologies and religions are usually little more than tools of intrigue and self-aggrandizement, even among those who actually believe in them."

"The greatest strength of The Conspiracy is that it doesn't exist. The greatest weakness of The Conspiracy is that it does."

"Microsoft Foundation Classes isn't a programming tool, it's a psychological warfare agent that MS uses against their competitors. There's a reason why MS's in-house developers rarely use their own (waste) products."

"One of the great realizations of my life was that all mystical doctrines are unscientific, irrational, anti-materialist, subjective and insane. Another great realization was that science, reason, materialism, objectivity and sanity are themselves mystical doctrines."

"The social history of the US is just an extended remix of the English Civil War."

"Never think that what any politician says is a reflection of anything but a very carefully controlled marketing plan."

"Seen objectively, Marxism is really just a retread of primitive Christianity; while the theological terms may be different ('God' -> 'historical dialectic', 'Apocalypse' -> 'Revolution', 'Kingdom of Heaven' -> 'Worker's Paradise', etc.), the contents (and smug self-righteousness) are the same. And like other forms of Christianity, inevitably devolves into hatemongering and dogmatism disguised as peace and brotherhood."

List of Schol-R-LEA's Absurd and Pointless Titles

First Speaker of the Last Church Coalition

High Speaker of the Last Eristic Church of Finagle and Holy Bisexuality

Grandmasturbator of the Gordian Society

Episkopos Anti-Pope of the Dr Benway Lives for Your Sins Cabal

Dishonorary Secretariat of the Johnny Von Nuemann Memorial Floating Poker Game Cabal

Master of General Tribulation

Chairbeing of the USENET Poltergeist Anti-Defamation League

Deacon of the Paratheoanametamystickhood of Eris Esoteric

Public First Class in the Erisian Liberation Front

Justified Ancient of MuuMuu

Duke of the Neptunian Leading Trojan Asteroids and Protector of Texlahoma

Chief Erisian Officer, Texlahoman Pet Rock Cartel

Knight of Raoul

Knight of the Circular Object

Keeper of the Gymbag of Holding