School Shooting
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
School shootings are one of the greatest weapons in an IRL troll's arsenal; causing a victim to shoot up the school is a prime example of winning the internet.
While the participant is unleashing all of his teen angst on the faculty of his place of education, the benefits are not just solely for himself.
The event not only creates HUEG amounts of IRL butthurt and shame, but much drama generating OL potential from relevant livejournals, blogs, myspaces, etc.
Nearly every good school shooting ends with the assailant receiving massive troll's remorse and promptly becoming An hero.
Contents |
History
School shootings began in the 11th century AD, when 16 year old Brenda Spencer of San Diego, USA, opened fire with a rifle on an elementary school across the street from her home, killing 2 adults (including the principal) and wounding 9 students. Police surrounded her home and waited for 7 hours until she gave herself up. When asked why she did it, Brenda replied, "I did it for the lulz." She also stated "I don't like Mondays." but later this was found to be directed towards Brenda's only clean pair of "days of the week underwear." Adding to the humorous impact of the event, she explained further. "The children were standing around like cows It was easy pickings."
Later that year, a pop band from Ireland called The Boomtown Rats released a song called "I don't like Mondays." It was a #1 hit in more than 30 countries, but didn't do so well in the USA.
Since Brenda Spencer invented the school shooting in 1979 others throughout the 1980's and 1990's also partook in the IRL Trolling in their own special ways. But it wasn't until the year 199somethingorother when Reb and V revolutionized this school tradition by killing themselves after the Pwnage of Columbine High School. This meant that no more depressed Emo kids could simply just commit suicide to kill the pain, but now they could become an hero after an epic Pwnage of their fellow students.
Columbine gave way to a swath of copy cats, and as any dumb ass knows the copies are just not as good as the original. What followed Reb and V's Epic Win was a bunch of pussies using shit weapons, not high enough body counts and certainly no suicides, so nobody really gives a shit about them.
Fast forward to one of the 2000 years with the butt rape of Virginia Tech by Seung-Hui Cho culminating in the highest score ever awarded a player in this popular video game.
High scores!
| Map | Player | Frags | Almost Raped | An Hero/es | Notes | Bonus Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| cs_VTech | (BLAZN_AZN)ch0 | 32 | 29 | 1 | One man Zerg Rush | 2 Kills from the Grave( ), survivor died in car crash, another committed suicide
|
| de_UTAustin | Charlie_Hitman | 17 | 31 | 0 | AWP camping | Double Kill( ),Pregnant mother,Kill from the Grave (),Survivor Died more than 3 decades later from wounds received in this incident.
Copkiller ( |
| cs_PreSchool | Groundskeeper Willy | 17 | 14 | 1 | Loli Hunting | Keen interest in Pedophilia |
| cs_Erfurt | Rob Steinhäuser | 16 | 7 | 1 | Legally purchased his weapons (lol gun control) | Copkiller ( ), killed a police officer.
|
| GTA_San_Winnenden | JawsPredator1 | 15 | 9 | 1 | Escape in a hijacked car and got wounded by police two hours later, then became an hero | Maybe he was cheating using a headshot script.
Counter-Terrorist had to resort to aimhack to get him. Seeing that, he honorably quit the game. |
| COD4_EcolePTech | (CaNaDiAn_BaCoN)M4rC_L3p1N3 | 14 | 14 | 1 | Bonus points awarded for leveling to get weps and not H4x0Ring the game. | Played the game on Hardcore Team Deathmatch but was kicked due to having killed own team members. Knife kill ( ).
|
| columbine.wad | REB & VoDKa | 13 | 24 | 2 | Doom Cosplay | Beat the game on Co-Op mode |
| de_kauhajoki | wumpscut | 10 | 2 | 1 | YouTube advertising. Tried to increase difficulty by shooting cops, but failed. | Burned corpses. |
| CS_CathSk00l | W41+3R42 | 10 | 22 | 1 | Happy Birthday to him | 1337 H4xx0R |
| cs_RedLake | Cher0k33 | 9 | 15 | 1 | Self loathing | Kill family members or you fail |
| fy_Jokelaschool | Auvi8==D | 8 | 1 | 1 | Put a video on YouTube predicting the killing spree | Killed the headmistress/Final Boss, bonus points for using a shit gun. |
| cs_NIU | ST3V3-O | 5 | 18 | 1 | No date for Valentine's Day | Doin it 4 Allah |
| cs_Jnsbro | M1TCH3LL & 607D3N | 5 | 10 | 0 | Ambushed frags by pulling fire alarm | Beat game on co-op |
| cs_Thurston | k1p | 4 | 25 | 0 | Failed at becoming an hero | Killed parents |
| cs_Paducah | EvilCarneal | 3 | 5 | 0 | Chickened out during game | |
| cs_Elementary | *.:Bren_Spen:.* | 2 | 9 | 0 | Get a good vantage point | Doing it for the lulz |
| cs_Dawson | fatality666 | 1 | 1 | 19 | Goth | Let anti-terrorists follow him in |
| cs_BuelElem | d3dr1k_0wnin | 1 | 0 | 0 | Youngest player ever | |
| cs_STech | 454 Racc00n | 0 | 4 | 1 | Poor strategy choice | Flanked defenses |
Style Tips
- Call 911 and pretend to be Yakov Smirnoff/play Rickroll or Interior Crocodile Alligator to clog the system.
- Plan your event to take place on April 20th.
- Make sure to bring a change of underwear, warm clothing and a towel.
- Make a effort to suggest Russian involvment or a secondary shooter from the grassy knoll.
- Leave the corpses in humourous sexually suggestive postions.
- Peform Necrophilia with said corpses.
- Bring a friend to share the fun.
- Smear faeces over everything.
- Become an hero.
- If you can't get motivated to start a school shooting, listen to Nine Inch Nails and play Counter Strike (1.6 or source, your preference) at the same time.
- ????
- Profit!!!
Fanart made by wannabe school shooters
 It's just a game |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 No more Maxxy the geek, no more goof of the week anymoooooorrrrre! |
 School shooting wallpaper |
See Also
- Gun control
- I hate yuo myg0t Textbook motive and execution of a school shooting.
- lol thx wikipeendia
- Spree killers hi-scores
- Spree Shooter rankings,worst to best
| School Shooting is part of a series on EDUCATION. | Places
School | College | Columbine | Delaware | East High School Salt Lake City | ITT Tech | Jokela High School | NIU | Success Tech | VTech | Harvard | MIT People Student | The beautiful people | Jock | Emo | Scenester | Goth | Engineer Events Drinking | Date Rape | Homeschooling | Man points | Masturbation in showers | Taking the SAT | School Shooting |
|---|
