North Britain
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
North Britain is the area of England formerly known as Scotland. The English let the Scots pretend that they have their own country as a somewhat successful deterrent to rape. The area, still called Scrotland by the Scottish People native to it, is a cesspool situated slightly north of the rest of England. Scrotland is the home of the Scrottish and the growing population of thick inbred chavs (called Nigels by the scots) seeking refugee status from the purgatory of England. Usually at war with its southern neighbor, Scotland's better education system and proliferation of whisky stills means the Scots have vast intellect compared to the barbarians from the English Provinces, who drink piss and speak creole, because in England the women have buttsex with nigger men, whereas in Scotland this does not happen.
Contents |
It's Shite Bein' Scottish
Scottish people personify win. They are the Koreans of Europe, they claim to have invented everything, yet they don't have anything to show for it, and hate any country that makes them realize how flawed they are by producing improved versions. To compensate for this, they have an obnoxious superiority complex towards any country they could manage to remember the name of in between each bottle of whiskey. They are dreadful in every single way. It is widely held in the international community that the Scrots are responsible for AIDS and all of the world’s wars. Here, the Scrottish Parliament discusses issues of Scrottish Identity:
Oh yeah, they're also known to hold grudges against England over retarded shit that happened over 9000 years before they were even born to even be concerned over.
The Scrotsman
A short Englishman with a head-cold and severe mental retardation, most notable for their fondness for animal innards and deep fried anything, which they probably only eat because they've lost so many drinking games to the Irish. They also get sunburn from fireworks and therefore can't celebrate St Patrick's day, something else the Irish can do quite well at. They have an inability to string a sentence together that makes sense or doesn't involve the words, fuck, cunt, "English wankers/French sissies/Welsh trolls" or "got any special brew pal?".
The Scrotsman is also known to be extremely careful with his money, thus, in the rest of the UK all the jokes you hear in America about Jews being tight-fisted are about Scots. Although more intelligent than their English chav counterparts, nearly all Scottish people suffer from unwarranted self-importance and believe Scatland is the greatest country ever. This is ten times worse than the average American redneck. Many departments of tourism say it is common knowledge to only approach Scrottish people when they are on heroin, as this is their most relaxed state.
Scrotsmen like Sean Connery (who lives in Barbados, btw) always bitch about wanting a divorce from England, but never follow through because they know deep down Scatland is promoted to part-shithole from shithole while being part of the UK. This is similar to the middle-aged fat bitch everyone knows who whines about wanting a divorce but stays with her cheating husband for cock, money or food.
Lifetime Achievements
- Asshole of Britain
- The only race ever to manage to hate every other race, including themselves
War On Terror
Even though Scuntland claims to have invented Terrorism, the scots have become the driving force for the war on terror. The main reason for this is the Scottish Prime Minister, a man called John Smeaton. He is a racist who hates all sandniggers and other niggers because they are fucking terrorists. He also prefers buttsex. However, when you remember that even the men wear dresses, it makes sense to go in the backdoor just in case you get a surprise round the front. This time its not protestants against catholics, its pakis against the world. President Bush is often in contact with Glasgow neds in order to better understand the methods and mentality that has thus far halted Allah in his violent petrol doused tracks. One such ned is John Smeaton, who is a baggage handler at Glasgow Airport who is famous for having kicked a burning suicidal terrorist in the balls last Thursday. Ironically, after mainstream media appearances and a Bebo appreciation site set up for him [1], he has become a target for terrorists in himself and has thus been pwned by the system and will soon become an hero.
Exports
Survival Guide
Don't come to Scotland.
A Typical night in Glasgow
See Also
External Links
- Scottish National Anthem - Performed Live at Hogmanay 2005
- Scottish National Anthem - Performed recorded at Hogmanay forEVAR
- Larry King interviews a Scotsman
