Scratch

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Ever played some kind of video game and wondered, "could i ever make a spectacular game like this?". We know you think so. And many people just like you have always wanted to be a little programmer and make their own video game masterpiece.

Scratch is a new and hip programming language that allows little retarded children to make their own video game/animation by adding coloured blocks together and sharing their magnificent works of art with the world by uploading them into the Scratch website.

The Scratch projects are mostly recognized as a "program suitable for everybody", for it's idiotic programming type. Basically, there are lots of coloured blocks that each do a different action, and by putting those blocks on top of each other various scripts are obtained. Sounds fucked up? It's more like a video game for autistics, but it's more complicated.

Summary

Yeah, something like this.

Scratch has been found in somewhere 2007 as a rip-off of some program called Squeak, as the "Scratch team" thought it would be a good idea to turn Lego into a programming language. At first, seemingly a website for educated programmers the website soon turned into a website for fetuses. If you think that this is a program for real programmers, you are wrong. Every single project is always the "Scratch Cat" spinning either clockwise or counter-clockwise, since the little retards can't program for shit even when using blocks, and yet it will be the top-rated project of all time in the website.

As of now, there are about 550 thousand projects. The best ones get to be featured, as in, get to be on the front page, but since all of them are fucking shit, it doesn't mean anything much. Amongst the members, there is also a rating system, called love-its, and, as a result, most of the projects will be captioned by the author "5 love-its and a sequel". Unfortunetaly, love-its do not give you money, and the crappy projects will remain crappy, and they will not even give you profit.

Projects

Typical project by a 16 year old girl who thinks saying "waffles" is funny.

As mentioned, the variety of the projects on Scratch is not big. There are five categories of the games/animations on Scratch, ranging from complicated scripts to a sound of a guitar string.

The shit projects, 99% of them include a pre-drawn background, a two sentence dialoge and the ever-smiling Scratch Cat. Most of these projects are made by some random people from Latvia. No, these projects not even playable. Most of the real programmers rage over this kind of projects, but the author's excuse is always "it's my first project, why u so mean". Example
The static projects, either includes a picture of a furry drawn by a furry author, or some "recolouring" shit. Always gets comments how kawaii the project is. Example
The two-script projects, the actually playable ones, but they still have only about two scripts, and usually ask to click the arrow keys and acquire different sounds. Example
The so-called "not bad" projects, still fucking crap, but better than the other ones. Example
The good projects. Sadly, none of this category has been found to this date.

There is also a "remixing" feature. Remixes are Type 4 projects that are downloaded, edited and uploaded again. Remixes are somewhat called "The AIDS that is killing Scratch" by the 1337 Scratch oldfags, since the website is now full of those turds, but the website is full of AIDS anyway, so it doesn't have a point.

"Programmers"

Typical "Scratcher"

To be fair, there are some good projects in the website, if by good you mean guiding a ball through a maze. But all of those not bad projacts are made by one person, Paddle2See (who is from the Scratch Development Team). The other 350 thousand members are assburger-infested 8 year olds that have been told being artistic. The program is also advertised as being "a great program for education", but what kind of education could a retard give/get?