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Screen name

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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JeniGirl78 just needs $300 for plane tickets over to you.
JeniGirl78 just needs $300 for plane tickets over to you.
These people have shit screen names.
These people have shit screen names.

All sheeple have screen names because as it is implied it is your name on the internet. It's used to communicate with all kinds of people all over the world, but mostly it's used to procure secks (usually the butt kind). As a rule all men are gay and all women are hot, blond, and 18. They are also usually Bubba.

Contents

Making a successful Screen name

In order to make a successful screen name, you must first access the AIM or you can't even have a screen name. Then, to begin making a screen name, you must take into account the following things (no regard for spelling is MANDATORY):

For White people:

  • your sport
  • your gender
  • a meaningful number of some sort (weight, address, age, birth date, PIN, Social Security number, bra size)

Examples: socrchick944, hockeygurl321, football4lyfe666420

For Black people and other minorities that all look alike anyways:

  • your race
  • your gang status

Examples: BL4CKD33lR, AznPryD3_9, thuggachik6969

For Emofags:

  • gratuitous amounts of x's on either side of your name
  • a phrase that expresses your deep inner turmoil (preferably song lyrics or lines from well known poems)
  • a number (to show you weren't the first to come up with the idea)

Examples: nonconformist933, xxxxxathousandtearsxxxxx, xXxTHESEWOUNDSTHEYWILLNOTHEALxXx

For Trolls:

Examples: FAGTRON3000, CUMSUKKKAR, LIBS_R_GAYFAGS

For Furries:

  • the name of your fursona
  • the fursona's species
  • something about the fandom (so people know just what you are)

Exampples: Drakky, MitsuTehSkunkki, Yiffwhore456

For Otaku:

  • The name of a popular anime character, or even better, two characters' names mixed together
  • Your POWAR LEVEL
  • Random Japanese words or phrases
  • Some kawaii-desu! emoticons

Examples: SSJiniysha666, SuperGotenk9000Ranma, ^_^*SailorChibiChibiKawaiNekoSakuraPrincess*^_^

Your Internet Identity

Now that you have established yourself on the AIM, it's important to use a similar, if not the same, name on other websites, so that your fans can follow your every move online and that much more easily become a real life fan.

Screen Name Theft

Remember you are a snowflake and the most original person on the internets evar!!! Therefore, anyone with a similar screen name to yours is obviously copying you or trying to steal your identity. Be sure to harass them constantly about it until they give up and change names. Remember no one will defend your crappy DevianTART account except you!

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