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Jaranda

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The fat
The fat

Jaranda "Jorge Aranda" (Current wiki-username Secret; not to be confused with "The Secret", a cheesy New Age philosophy that is even more convoluted and mindless than Time Cube) is a typical emo Wikipedophile admin, he is mostly known for holding the record of the most failed RFA's and the user who has claimed to be 'leaving' the most times, and being unable to spell jackshit. He is a deletionist and a power hungry psychofuck. Although he lives in Palm Coast Florida, he never sees the sun as he is too busy either abusing his admin powers, or resigning them in a fit of pique. After enduring a little bit of vandalism, he went uber-emo and blocked his own account, and then he attempted suicide IRL. Feeling sorry for him, his fellow Internets "friends" convinced him to cum back to the Wikipedia circle jerk. The only reason he is still on the site is because he's an admin.

  • Jaranda (Talk | contribs) deleted "Mzoli's Meats" ‎ (to make sure I get desyropped)[3]

Jaranda had once again left the project, this time because he got butt-hurt by Jimbo. [4] He took a comment left by Jimbo a little too personally, a typical sign of emo-ness. Jimbo told him to "excuse themselves from the project and find a new hobby".[5] so he made an essay called 'My leaving essay', then blocked himself.

  • Jaranda blocked "Jaranda" (account creation blocked) with an expiry time of indefinite ‎ (left the project, if Jimbo doesn't want me here, fuck this)[6]

As he has nothing better to do in his pitiful little life, he had no choice but to return to Wikipedia and continue being Jimbo's bitch pet, proof. This dumb fuck lost the password to his original account, yet he says Wikipedia is a failure [7]. After changing his username a few times due to death threats,[8] he resulted in stealing an account called Secret[9]

Jaranda's face when Jimbo's told him to GTFO Wikipedia
Jaranda's face when Jimbo's told him to GTFO Wikipedia

He has admitted to approving Veropedia because there are fewer bullies that taunt about his physical disability which prevents him spelling shit.[10]

His school he grew up in was Miami Beach High School, but since then edits from Florida International University (he forgets to log in sometimes and other times) and is doing Political Science and Journalism, and was previously studying History. As everyone agrees he is a failure of an admin, he removed himself from the recall list before he caused opened more gaping butt holes of other users.[11] He is also on IRC sometimes.[12] He loves baseball, yet you wouldn't think so. He is also obsessed with some dead Mexican singer called Selena Quintanilla-Pérez.

He is a proud deletionist. Adding his vote view to AFDs (articles for dissemination) in under 60 seconds, a common trait between deletionists.[13][14]. He uses many stolen scripts in his monobook to automate and speed up his deletionism/afd'ing/csd'ing etc.

He is native English, noob at Spanish, Hispanic heritage. Likes Rap music and is probably still using AOL, WtF?

  • His AIM is Aranda1Cards
  • The true amount of times he has claimed to have 'left' Wikipedia may never be known, but you can find a few in the Oppose section Here. That page is 2 years old, so the true amount of times is uncountable.

Contents

[edit] Jimbo Wales dicksuckery

Jimbo Wales enjoys pwning wikiadmin fags, especially ones such as Jaranda. Jaranda's reaction offsite:

[edit] His username history

All of the usernames he has used plus helpful links:


1. Aranda56 (talk · contribs · logs · userspace/talkspace · google)

2. Jaranda (talk · contribs · logs · userspace/talkspace · google)

3. Moneyballing (talk· contribs · logs · userspace/talkspace · google)

4. Jbeach56 (talk · contribs · logs · userspace/talkspace · google) also uses this name at eBay too

5. Secretalt (talk· contribs · logs · userspace/talkspace · google) his public account

6. Secret (talk · contribs · logs · userspace/talkspace) current username

  • WikiAdminFags Only:

1. Aranda56 (deleted contribs · checkuser)

2. Jaranda (deleted contribs · checkuser)

3. Moneyballing (deleted contribs · checkuser)

4. Jbeach56 (deleted contribs · checkuser)

5. Secretalt (deleted contribs · block user · checkuser)

6. Secret (deleted contribs · block user · checkuser)

HE'S AT ED TOO LOL

Jaranda (talk · contribs · logs · block user · checkuser)

[edit] People Jaranda admires

[edit] His hunger for power

Everyone knows that Jaranda only registered to become an admin-fag, he felt he should be admin only a month after he registered (see rfa timeline). He is so power hungry, he tried to be admin at the commons wiki,[18] then got pwned at his steward election[19]. He has had a grand total of 8, yes eight RFA's.[20] Six of which failed. The other two somehow passed, one at 20% oppose[21] and the other at 26% oppose[22]. The only logical explanation on why he became admin is being nice to his only 'friends'. But srsly, who gives a fuck if there's pages and pages of proof that this guy is too much of a dumbfuck and emo to be admin?

[edit] RFA Timeline

Some problems are just too stubborn to get rid of.
Some problems are just too stubborn to get rid of.

Jaranda has had 8 RFA's (a record), he's one of those users you know shouldn't be admin but just won't go away. Just like pieces of floating shit that won't flush no matter how many times you attempt to flush them. He's even proud of it[23]. He is the only user to have had six failed RFA's consecutively for every month from Oct 05 -> Mar 06.

1. Oct 05, his first one, only a month after he registered
2. Nov 05, tries again by copying and pasting his first one and making a few changes
3. Dec 05, his first nomination, by a ex-professional sockpuppet master - one of his accounts?
4. Jan 06, he is nominated by 1ne.
5. Feb 06 can't turn down a nom again.. (Drini the dwarf nominates him.
--- Febr 06 Commons (his WikiCommons attempt, if he can't be an admin at Wiki P, why not try Wiki C? lol)
6. Mar 06, his first RFA since he changed his name a bunch of times, his plan fails as everyone remembers how fucking annoying he is and fails yet again
7. Jul 06, his first RFA for 3 long agonising months, somehow passes, even though 20% opposed
8. July 07, tries again after his rampage and again, somehow passes with 26% users opposing.
--- Nov 07 Steward (His pathetic Steward attempt 3 months later)

After every RFA he fails he says he's leaving, stops editing for a few days then comes back. He then adds his professional views to users RFA's like:

 
“ 		 
you need three+ months of experience to even have a chance of passing an RFA.
  		„
 

—Jaranda opposing someone else's RFA. Well you know that from experience don't you Jorgey?

So how did he become admin? Well there are many theories, here's some of the most popular ones:

  • People were sick of seeing his RFA's constantly appearing on the list and just wanted it to stop.
  • He bribed a bureaucrat with either money or another RL chor.
  • He's a pro at sockpuppetry, see his first admin nominator that got caught.
  • People felt sorry for him and his meaningless little life.
  • A combination of the above.

[edit] What other wikipedians think about Jaranda

He uses the 'ill relative' ploy as an excuse for is idiocy, gb2 school plz.[1].
He uses the 'ill relative' ploy as an excuse for is idiocy, gb2 school plz.[1].
 
“ 		 
This is completely outrageous. Have they forgotten that Jaranda went out with an act of vandalism? Do they have any concerns whatsoever about a person with so little foresight and such a propensity towards overreacting? I figured he'd come back and get the tools back until I saw the vandalism; then I figured there's no way they'd be so irresponsible as to resysop him after that, but I was wrong. It's simply shameful. Jaranda used his admin tools to vandalize, and he is given the tools back on request.
  		„
 

—Everyking

All the comments in this section are copypasta and were actually said by legit established wiki-fags, just click the [##] next to the edit/diff.
  • highly erratic; constantly leaves and returns. Also has a record of poor decision-making, has deleted content despite AfDs in favor of keeping.[24]
  • Just as bad as MONGO and SlimVirgin[25]
  • temperment is unstable[26]
  • too unstable (quit, return, quit, return, quit, return, ad nauseum), too concerned with the opinion of others.[27]
  • acts like an idiot[28]
  • contradicts himself too much[29][30]
  • has a lack of perspective on the Wikipedia community as a whole[31]
  • quite emotionally involved[32]
  • emotionally unstable[33]
  • his spelling is quite atrocious (said by many people, including himself)[34]
  • a person with so little foresight and such a propensity towards overreacting[35]
  • unwillingness to respect community processes and decisions[36]
  • lets their friendships and grades suffer due to editing[37]
  • panics a lot[38]
  • instability of character and confused thinking[39]
  • you storm off and come back again and again...[40]
Findings of fact from the above comments
  • Paranoid as hell
  • Emo
  • No life
  • Dumb fuck

[edit] How will it end?

Just become an hero already, nobody will miss you.
Just become an hero already, nobody will miss you.

As Jaranda gets butthurt so easily, it's only a matter of time before someone hurts his feelings again. He will then block himself, create another emo-essay and return again at a later date. This process will continue until he finds out how much of a failure he is. Sadly, as he is such a dumb fuck, he has yet failed in becoming an hero, because he doesn't know how to become one!.

[edit] Oh shit

  • 00:09, 15 January 2008 Secret (Talk | contribs) deleted "User:Secret" ‎ (temp delete fucking ED assholes has some of my fucking info)
I know your secret faggot
I know your secret faggot
I know your secret faggot
I know your secret faggot
I know your secret faggot
I know your secret faggot
I know your secret faggot


[edit] Jaranda's rage

Jaranda's editing face
Jaranda's editing face

If he put the same amount of effort spelling his insults correctly into spelling other things he might get somewhere.

Notably, his favourite word is fuck*, which he has used publicly at least six times so far, the same amount of failed RFA's he's had. He has used Ass four times, at least he's trying to be creative in his fits of rage. He's probably not too far off JzG's record.

[edit] eBay shit

Jaranda will threaten to perform his banstick ritual on any users claiming to be an admin.[2]
Jaranda will threaten to perform his banstick ritual on any users claiming to be an admin.[2]

He uses eBay, jbeach56 and jorgebeach56 which got banned, he denies they are his[41].

Likes to sell baseball cards too.

 
“ 		 
I have 2000 baseball, basketball, and football cards that I need to sell ASAP. All the cards are stars, hall of famers, rookies, inserts, and even some jerseys/autos. No junk, also including a willie mcgenist autograph football the 7 PSA autograph baseball postcards including 5 deceased players, (see one of the below posts) and a 1993 Florida Marlins Topps set, only 5000 made, only missing the checklists, the jeter rookie, the griffey and a common. Best offer takes it, must sell by this weekend. Call or text me at 786-449-9002 or email me at Aranda1cards@aol.com. Pickup only!!!!!!!
  		„
 

He now sells his crap on miami.craigslist.org like a Pink Motorola SLVR L6 (lol gay) and also sold a broken ipod on exchangeyourjunk.com

[edit] Other shit

[edit] Links

Also refer to Jaranda#His_username_history
Wikishit
Other

Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit User_Talk:Jaranda.

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