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Semen
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
It has been suggested that this article should be merged with cum. To find out moar please spam the talk page.
A white-ish liquid that ejaculates from a male penis when stimulated, following this a man is generally exhausted and fulfilled making him easily malleable to the manipulative will of his partner. Often an excellent time for a woman to ask for money.
Like vaginal secretions, the flavor of semen is determined heavily by diet. There are products like Semenex, which are specifically designed to make one's semen taste better to a partner's palette. However, bananas continue to be the most popular route for men looking to get their stuff up to snuff, with many connoisseurs suggesting that even one banana every other day has a huge impact on flavor. It should also be noted that semen smells like bleach, although that is unpreventable.
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[edit] Nutritional Facts
The nutritional value of semen largely equates to that of egg whites, therefor it is a high-protein and low-carb food ideal for the woman on-the-go, and is compatible with popular diets like Atkins. The average ejaculation, or serving size, is about a tablespoon which equals about fifteen calories. This can vary by man, and ejaculatory conditions. Ingredients
- Sugars: Fructose, sorbitol, inositol
- Proteins and amino acids: glutathione, deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), creatine
- Minerals: Phosphorus, zinc, magnesium, calcium, potassium
- Vitamins: Vitamin C, vitamin B12, choline
- Hormones: Testosterone, prostaglandins
- Body byproducts: Lactic acid, urea, uric acid, nitrogen
- Babies
- May contain traces of nut
[edit] Semen: A Woman's Best Friend
It often believed that women don't like semen. This is a gross misconception as the adjoining photo shows. Any woman who refuses to swallow is most likely a whiny, shallow, money-grubbing ice princess, self-empowered feminist who has a LiveJournal, or if you're lucky simply a Succubus out to drag your mortal body into the bowels of hell to burn for all eternity.
- Ladies take note! It is an established fact that there is no greater sign of love than a woman who gulps down her man's hot, creamy load.
- On a diet? Semen is 15 calories per average "serving"! Now, if you chose to burn off those calories with a bit of effort at the time, I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem.
- Need extra oomph? Klara Wagner enjoys several healthy helpings of semen every day and swears by its energizing powers.
[edit] Fun Terms and Synonyms for Semen
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[edit] External Links
- Don't Spit, Swallow! - Swallowing hints, advice, and tips.
- Ejaculation Pictures - Free archive of different types of semen expressions and emissions.
- Masturbation Ejaculation Techniques - Different ways to shoot semen with facts, instructions, and pictures.
