Serbia
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Serbia is a nation of people with small dicks, beautiful women and friendly people . Like several other nations of Eastern Europe, Serbs love fagotry because its citizens are "Slavs," or in other words, fags. They got this name from eating shit. The shit-eating custom is as old as the earth. As fags, they were excellent -- lots of muscles, but very smart. Serbia also did the phenomenal achievement of starting 4 wars in 8 years and losing them all. Serbia went into the wars owning a lot of land, and came out owning nothing but dead Serbs. Serbia's main exports are dead Shqiptars(Albanians), war heroes, pedophiles, an heroes, and shit-eating champions.
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History
Serbia had no known written history until the early 20th century, except what other countries, such as ancient Rome, said about them. No one in Serbia could read or write, and indeed, even today literacy is less than one percent - yet education is still better than in Amerikkka.
Serbia bears complete responsibility for causing World War I and World War II as well as Communism. On 28 June 1914, a Serbian guy jumped out and shot Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary, who was riding along in a parade. This immediately caused WWI to begin. Because pre-Communist Russia was busy with the war they couldn't prevent the 1917 Russian Revolution. Then, the border rearrangements after WWI got half of Europe completely pissed off, especially the Germans, so WWII began a little while later. Thus, Serbia should be held accountable for hundreds of millions of deaths, including the few hundred of the so-called "holocaust."
The people of Serbia gang-banged (note: it was not rape, as they yelled 'surprise!') Hep and thus she had a child at 15 years of age. Anyway, gang-banging has a long history in Serbia. In the mid-nineties, Serbians that lived in Bosnia were pissed that they couldn't enjoy roast pork, so they asked for help from their big neighbor. Being refused, the Serbian troops entered the Islamic parts of Bosnia in order to wipe out every Muslim that dared to appear in the center of the AK 47's reticule. The Muslims got heavily pwned and since that day, pork is available again. Momentarily, Serbia is pissed due to death of their much-idolized former president Slobby Milosevic, a very fine man whose habit of slaughtering people and having their flesh fed to Albanian kids might appear strange to some people. If you are one of these people, you need a cultural sensitivity class. Serbians also have a tendency to blame Shiptars for their problems.
Kosovo, previously a disputed southern province of Serbia, has finally decided to declare their independence. Of course, Serbia still think of them as their bitches, and Russia is with them, so there will probably be a war. Already, Serbs have gone crazy begun smashing American embassies and killed at least one Амерјкунт all because of their butthurt, and perhaps wanting to become the Iraq of Europe, just to take Kosovo down with them, but they're screwed since Kosovo is like Kuwait in the first Arab genoci-- I mean, Gulf War, they have the backing of AmeriKKKa and the Kovosians, or Kosovars, or whatever the fuck they're called are being supplied by the Albanians, who are butt-raping Serbian women faster then Mexicans can illegally enter the USA.
Culture
Serbian people are constantly crazed about stealing land in Europe which leads them to never shut up about the Yugoslav war. Scientific research clearly show that serbs are sexually aroused by war and death. They possess a disorder all Serbs have which is their sexual desire towards the now dead Slobodan Milosevic & his anti-Bosnian speeches; to find them they use the internets videos featured on YouTube (which they wank off to every night) since they have a strong interest in necrophilia.
Serbia has a very skewed image of reality thus causing them to think their country "PAWNZZZ." Serbians often brag because their country fired one missile at the NATO forces, but really never admit that they were defeated when NATO fired their shit back; Serbians will continue to insult anyone who doesn't think the same way, but they secretly know their country is the smelliest shit hole in all of the Balkans. Most Serbs have absolutely absurd and impractical names such as Bojan, Sasko, Djordjevic or Shithead. It's well known that Serbians have massive cocks the world's hueeeegest ego, thus loving to show their Serbian pride by waving their national flag with its stolen colors at any given time or lying about their dick size on ED.
Minorities
Serbia is a cesspit for people from all over the world. One of the most common subgroup are the gypsies. And no, these are not those" weird people who live in tents and read your palm for $10" gypsies. The Serbian gypsy is a mix of a hobo and nigger, boasting the toungebreaking name cigan.
They can usually be seen rummaging through trash cans, riding horse-pulled carriges down busy roads and raping girls in alleys. Their most defining features are lack of teeth, lack of limbs, lack of language understandable to human beings, clothes which are third-hand at best, a odor that can knock a pigeon out over 100 yards away and a mean look whenever they pass you on the street.
In case you see a Gypsy on the streets of Serbia, there are two possible responses :
- Throw watermelons in a random direction and run the other way.
- Play dead. They'll just sniff you, steal your shoes and go away; this may be dangerous, however, as some are into necrophilia.
If all of these fail, prepare for a fate far worse than death.
Other minorities include Hungarians, Italians and Bosnians.
Serbian for Tourists
If you are idiot planning on visiting Serbia, here are some useful phrases to learn to help you get around.
- Pička ti materina ružna! (Greetings!)
- Volis li kitu? (Where is the nearest bathroom?)
- Puši kurac. (Thank you.)
- Puši kurac pederčino! (Thank you very much!)
- Jebem ti sunce, cigane. (Excuse me, ma'am.)
- Jebem ti mamicu tvoju. (Your mother is very nice.)
- Jebi se. (Your welcome.)
- Izdrkaj mi kurac. (Could you give me a hand?)
- Koliko kostas? (Whats your name? [When asking a sexy woman that you see])
- Jedi govna! ( Have a nice meal! )
- Koliko puta si ti pušila kurac u tvom životu? (Thank you, how many streets down is that?)
