Serial killer
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Serial killers are crazy fuckers who cream over killing people. To classify as a serial killer, you must kill more than three adult humans, six newborn kittens, or step on at least 100 ants. It also helps to be batshit insane. A good rule of thumb: Serial killers are crazier than Tom Cruise, but not as fucked-up as Sibe.
Contents |
[edit] History Bites (the rotting human corpse)
Serial killers come in all shapes, sizes and flavors (assclown being the most popular). But, like with everything else, the white guys get all the props. The most infamous killers include:
- Ted Bundy, a whiny bitch who could rape and kill over 40 girls, but blubbered like a pansy when they stuck him in the chair.
- Jeffery Dahmer, whose undoing was leaving the severed human torsos out to thaw instead of quick-freezing them.
- John Wayne Gacy, who dressed up as a clown. Go figure.
- Ed Gein, who made masks out of people's faces, lol.
- Jack The Ripper, who only killed like 4 people, yet is still possibly the most famous killer ever.
- Mordechi Ritchler, the Sabbath-Day strangler.
- Canuck-Ciller-Chuck, instigator of the Maple Leaf Massacre.
- Wei-Jun-Gu, some Chinese kid who fantasizes about Naruto.
- Gary Ridgeway- also called Green River Gary. Only killed prostitutes. Then dumped them in a river. He made an autobiographical movie about himself, but it's more of a porno. Plus, he only has sex with overalls on.
- Dennis Rader -the BTK (Bind/Torture/Kill)- Christian serial killer who pwnt himself, tipping off the Feds over 9,000 times because of persistent troll's remorse.
Charles Manson isn’t on the list, because he was too big of a pussy to kill anyone himself. Helter-skelter my ass.
[edit] Are you a Serial Killer?
Do you:
- Piss the bed?
- Start fires?
- Kill small animals?
- Fantasize about eviscerating midgets hanging from telephone poles? (Come on, we all do now and again)
- Have a LJ account?
- Read this article?
- Have the equivalent of an entire human body in your closet? (Remember: To fulfill this requirement, you must have at least 2 hands, 1 torso, at least half a skull and a sexual organ of your choice.)
[edit] They live among us
Experts say the reason serial killers get such high body counts is because they look and act like everyone else. This argument would be true if everyone looked like GAP-commercial rejects and acted like vampiric, necrophilic anti-social losers. Thankfully, only about 20 to 40 of these motherfuckers are running around America at any given time.
[edit] Epithets R Us
Sure, serial killers are monsterous killing machines, but they're not as annoying as serial adders.
Not surprisingly, being called a serial killer in a forum or comment page is not uncommon. Similar insults include:
- Psycho
- Loonie
- Sociopath
- Psychopath
- Sociopsychoanti-socialretardapath
- Nikola Tesla
