Shaun Dykes

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Sad to say, there is an hero in this article.

Shaun Dykes (moar like Shawn KIKES, lol amirite!?) was a seventeen year old from Derbyshire, UK. On September 28, 2008, he climbed to a high place with the full intention of either cooking up some pavement pizza or perpetrating the kind of scenario involving distraught crowds shouting "DON'T JUMP!" along with wobbly-legged firemen running to and fro with a tiny trampoline and women with huge breasts fainting dramatically.

“	I believe I can fly.	„
—Shaun Dykes

Sad to say, the three hours that followed played out like some sort of black pantomime (the kind which actually looked satirical when Chris Morris was sending it up ten years ago) as "Baying onlookers" hurled witty epithets and cheeky British humor at him in an attempt to cheer him up.

“	A shocking reflection on society.	„
—Superintendant Andy Hough

It is unknown why Shaun felt the need to punch his ticket. However, the fact that his MySpace page is covered in pictures of him and his boyfriend looking ecstatically happy and hugging - along with the mood "Smitten" being the last ever set - could provide some clue.

For the next three hours, police negotiators attempted to talk Shaun down, while the crowd shouted "GET ON WITH IT!" and "HOW FAR CAN YOU BOUNCE?" Unfortuantly for him he did not bounce very well.

“	Eventually Mr Dykes leapt to his death, perhaps strengthened in his desire to escape this earth by the antics of an abusive and ghoulish mob.	„
—Stephen Glover, The Daily Fail

His parents were reportedly "Too upset to comment," but bonus lulz were scored by Conservative Party Chairman David Cameron who then "Departed from his script" to the party conference in Birmingham and joked "I won't go on - there are people on balconies up there!" Angela Samata, Survivors of Bereavement From Suicide, commented "For some people it's a well-used turn of phrase, but for someone who could be the next Prime Minister you would expect a certain level of sensitivity."

“	One day my boat will come in, and knowing my luck, I'll be at the airport.	„
—Shaun Dykes

“	He was The Joker and smiled all the time. He was so funny and everyone knew him because he was so popular.	„
—Lindsey, Shaun's best friend

[edit] See Also

• An Hero
• Faggot

[edit] External Links

• The Sun article
• MydeathSpace article
• His MySpace

Shaun Dykes is part of a series on An Hero.

[I told u I was hardcore] [Boom! Headshot!] 0

Died Alone: Alan Turing • Ben Vodden • Broady Paul Ledet • Budd Dwyer • Charles Bishop • Charmaine Dragun • Christine Chubbuck • Codey Porter • Hannah Bond • Heath Ledger • Hunter S. Thompson • Jake Roberts • James Leshkevich • Jloveb • Jodie Gater and Stephanie Gestier • Kevin Neil Whitrick • Klerck • Kristen Helms • Marvin Heemeyer • Megan Meier • Mercedes Herrera • Mitchell Henderson • Mr. Hands • Nikki Catsouras • Otoya Yamaguchi • Paul Tilley • Quentin Hubbard • Rachel Corrie • Rachele Rudd • Ricardo Lopez • Ripper • Rudolph Zurick Sadie Davila • Sam Leeson • Shaun Dykes • Stephanie Michelle Brown • Shane Halligan • Stiletto one • Teenage Azn Girl • The An Heroes of Bridgend • Yasmin Browder Went for the High Score: Adolf Hitler • Asa Coon • Cho Seung-Hui • Chris Benoit • Dylan Klebold • Eric Harris • Heaven's Gate • Robert Hawkins • Mr. Saari • nghtmrchld26 • Pekka-Eric Auvinen • Stephen Kazmierczak • Tatiana the Tiger • Tyler Dumstorf • Tyler Peterson • Jeff Weise Failed: Crystal Shinkle • Jeffree Moon • Joshua Stokes • Operation Yewtube • Owen Wilson • PogoRoo • Shay • The Great Sonic-cide of 2007 • Tumbles the Stairdragon Related Topics 90 Day Jane • Almostanhero • An hero day • Golden iPod • How to become an hero • Pseudocide • Shotgun mouthwash • Suicide • Threatening suicide • Virginia Tech massacre • Waco

	Shaun Dykes is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants
	Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.