Everquest

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This article is boring. You can help by placing relevant pretty pictures and adding more lulz/drama.

This is what Freeport looks like, after the Overlord let in all the poor people.

Play poker as a level 65 Barbarian warrior who is a member of The Holy Order of Teqiloqqrfi'olis.

Get some bald elven ass and write slashfics about it.

An exciting raid in the magical world of Norrath.

Everquest is the worst creation to come out of Josef Mengele's WW2 laboratory since Quasidan's penis.

~~A typical Everquest player.~~ Not fat enough to be a typical Everquest player.

SOE knows Nagas.

STFU PLS GOD DAMN

Fae? More like GAE!

It was the first computer game to make players pay monthly for simulated sex with sheep online. It is a fantasy based MMORPG owned by Sony that allows character creation and simulated fights against dragons and other nonsensical things. Since its appearance into the world the role-playing game now has such nicknames as "Evercrack", "Sheep Fucker Extravaganza", "Zionist Crap Fest", "Elf Fisting", and "I Have Not Seen Sun In 30 Days".

The most notable thing about the Everquest online game is the player base. Everquest players are the only known species to survive solely on Mountain Dew and Frito-Lay chips. Also, no Everquest player has ever had contact with another human, even their parents. They are elusive creatures who only come out of the woodwork to make junk food runs. Somehow, without jobs or social contacts, they still have the means to pay the $3,213.53/month access fee.

When the competition gets fierce, it may become necessary to play for several hours on end with no sleep or break. There's a chance that you'll die afterwords, but it's TOTALLY worth it.

Many of the players are known to practice black magick, even though none succeed or even have any idea what black magic is. Although pretending you're a level 77 necromancer that is frog/tiger/drow really comes in handy in the real world. A good example is Fansy the famous bard.

There was a sequel released, called Everquest 2: Ceciliantas' Revenge but it some say it sucks because there's "still no frog monks"[1]. There is a medium-sized playerbase within EQ2, with some notable players: Vithran, Faabio, and Miroh for example.

1 Places in Everquest
2 Races in Everquest
3 Links
4 See Also

[edit] Places in Everquest

Qeynos - The first thing one should notice is that "Qeynos" is actual "Sonyeq" backwards, which automatically makes it fail. The city is lead by Queen Antonia Bayle, who drones on and on about a plague event that happened three years ago IRL.
Freeport - The city that gets flooded all the damn time, has raw sewage in the streets, and has a bunch of ghettos surrounding the city. Basically, the hood.
Kunark - Home of the famous iksar, which are "an evil, reptilian race whose members often engage in torture and the capture of slaves, much akin to the Nazis" according to this Wikipedia article on the Thule Society.
Faydwer - Filled with Vampires, Brownies, and Fae, the lands of Faydwer are overflowing with references to Castlevania amongst other video games, which make nerds cream their pants.

[edit] Races in Everquest

Humans - Like every other MMORPG, humans in Everquest have the generic, well-rounded stats, but they are also in power: for example, Antonia Bayle of Qeynos.
Barbarians - Similar to humans, except these guys are really, really, huge. They are similar to the dwarves in nature: they both are always drunk. Always.
High Elves - Pompous, arrogant, and snooty Aryan jerks. Now that Norrath has endured the Shattering, they live amongst the Frogloks.
Wood Elves - Hippies. They are the type to prance about in the woods, nuzzling deer and bitch about global warming.
Half-Elves - Sporting more piercings than your average BME user, the Half-Elves enjoy shopping at Hot Topic and cutting themselves.
Dark Elves - By far the most popular race. They prefer to be filled with hatred, and only hatred, and threatening everyone they see. Too bad they're only about five feet tall and purple-skinned.
Halflings - Hobbits that go batshit insane when they don't have their daily dose of jumjum.
Dwarves - The northmen who wield axes, drink beer, and grow beards regardless of gender. The azn versions of the female dwarf models lack the beards because it isn't kawaii enough.
Gnomes - Many players who choose this race think they are the most hilarious things ever. What's hilarious is that they resemble their players: greasy-haired basement dwellers.
Trolls - Frequent EQ by posting unrelated material, not bathing, and eating fried chicken.
Ogre - Obese morons. At least 100% of the time, Ogre player-characters will be named something retarded such as "Bonekrusha," "Bludrinkar," or "Snotbooger."
Jews - Known for selling staves and scimitars above average price range. In the sequel, these are known as Ratonga.
Your Mother - Race of demon beating female sylphs who make shit. +1 for Attacks.
Iksar - A race of lizardmen terrorists that eat orc eyeballs. Females are rarely chosen as a player race because they lack boobs.
Vah Shir - Anthro cats that have become extinct, but were soon replaced by the equally shitty kerra. Many players who choose these races are unaware of the furry fandom, and would probably reroll if they learned of it.
Erudite - The intellectuals who have tattoos all over their bodies. They also enjoy reading books and being all pretentious about it.
Frogloks - Obnoxious, snobby pricks who bitch about not being able to go back home to their bog and ramble on about their religion. They also talk like drunk LARPers.
Fae - Released in Everquest 2 with the Echoes of Faydwer expansion pack, these colorful little faggots were fun for a day or two, and everyone who wasn't a Wiccan or a homosexual promptly deleted the character.
Arasai - A sad attempt to make the Fae more badass, but instead had them turn out emo. They are the evil counterparts to the Fae, and they generally have bat wings instead of cutesy fairy wings.
Sarnaks - The result of iksars fucking dragons. Apparently they dislike their heritage or something like that, but nobody pays attention to the storyline.
Burynai - Obese badgers that survive by finding shit and offering the shit to some fag who lives in a tower. Noone has ever seen him. Not even the burynai.
Goblins - Anorexic-looking shits that like to rip people off in gambling games. They're also used as sweatshop workers.