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From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Sigurd Hosenfeld also known as HosenFAILED, Peachsnogger or Peachfucker Peachmongler, is a Danish TARTlet with a raging hard-on for Nintendo who is in love with a vapid pixelated blond who can't seem to stop getting fucking kidnapped and raped by a mutant spiky turtle. And people see fit to lavish him with praise and fanart for this, insuring his place as a "Popular Ass" on devianTART.

Contents 1 Modus Operandi 2 Art 3 Website 4 Quotes 5 Galleries 5.1 Peachsnogger Lulz 5.2 Wall of Shame 5.3 Inexplicable Fanart 5.4 Sigurd's Unique Art Style 6 Reaction to this article 7 See Also 8 External Links

[edit] Modus Operandi

Peachsnogger proudly proclaims on his devianTART page (and any other chance he gets) that he is "Princess Peach's Lover", and has replaced the lardass, hairy and smelly Italian plumber who rescues the dumb bimbo's ass all the time with himself as her love interest in every single pic he uploads to devianTART. It's also the subject of every single art trade he participates in and every single piece of art he commissions. If he isn't asking someone to draw a picture of himself with a video game character other TARTlets (some who are better artists than he is) also willingly draw fanart for Peachmongler of him and Peach making out or getting married, for free, not seeming to realize the obvious batshit crazy that PEACHMONGLER IS IN LOVE WITH A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER!!1

Of course, this is probably completely normal and socially acceptable behavior to most TARTlets. Just look at sephirothslave and Snapesnogger.

Peachsnogger has never uploaded a single photo of himself to devianTART, instead opting to always draw himself as a tall, waifish, blond supah aryan man. We can only assume this is because he is in fact ugly irl. His behavior most of the time is deceptively normal, which means he's probably a dangerous psycho, but luckily his powers of TARTlet manipulation don't go beyond getting people to draw him fucking a video game character.

When he's not drawing his Mary Sue self raeping Peach, he's drawing almost every other female Nintendo character out there in the nude like the sex-crazed Nintendo maniac that he is. This is why he doesn't draw Nintendo characters like Donkey Kong, Wario,Meta Knight, etc.

Not surprisingly, Peachsnogger was a forum admin at a place called "Peach Paradise" where other otaku who like Princess Peach a little too much fully accept his status as Princess Peach's self-proclaimed boyfriend. He even lists being her boyfriend as one of his occupations on his profile there, and proclaims himself her lover in his forum signature.

As unbearable as HosenFAILED's fanboy obsession might be we can actually be thankful for it as this means that out of the love he has for a fictional character he will never have offspring. He can only dream.

[edit] Art

Despite claiming to have a "pure love" for the princess whose only claims to fame is getting kidnapped and raped and being able to float (possibly because she's so damn airheaded), he most commonly draws her with big, noticeable, rock hard nipples poking through her dress and in many suspiciously lolicon looking poses. This must mean he has porn (and he does) somewhere on the internets, and moar MUST be found for great justice.

He also does commissions for other losers who are in love with video game characters and want themselves drawn as young, unblemished metrosexuals.

Most TARTlets seem to assume Peachmongler just does shiney, passable Peach fanart at first, and somehow manage to turn a blind eye to the creepiness that more than half of his devianTART gallery is full of drawings of himself as Peach's boyfriend. Which only proves the fact that he needs to get a real life.

[edit] Website

Ever since god pwned the abomination that was Peach Paradise and it keeled over and died, Peachsnogger was in desperate need of a haven for Peach faggotry, and so he made his own. It includes things such as all of the same Mystery Jap ripoff art you've seen before, plus creepy extras like a biography of Princess Peach:

“	Love is another very complicated and sensitive area for the Princess, both for being received and given to others. Peach often discusses her personal feelings towards Mario through conversations with others, albeit in an implied manner, but appears reluctant to reveal them to him personally. Unfortunately, this has left the relationship's development completely stagnant, as neither party shows any signs of making a first move. It has also opened the window for speculation, especially considering the frequency of others in the Marioverse developing or possessing some form of affection or crush towards her.	„
—Peachsnogger, reading way too far into children's video games

[edit] Quotes

“	Obviously being the game that I was expecting for so long, not to mention that my girlfriend (Peach) is the main character my opinion is expected to be a bit biased.	„
—Peachsnogger, on Super Princess Peach the game where Peach gets her powers from her raging mood swings. Typical woman.

“	My Princess Peach collection currently has 91 different items, from plushies and figures to soda cans and shampoo bottles.	„
—Peachmongler, [1]

“	Capslock: ACTIVATED OH GOD, THAT IS THE BEST THING EVER!!1 *faints*.	„
—Peachfucker

“	However, since I joined dA some girls (and even a couple of guys) admitted to have a crush on me. And one of these times things turned very stressfull.	„
—LOL WUT?

[edit] Galleries

[edit] Peachsnogger Lulz

A geek tries to justify liking Peachmongler's art in light of his claims of being Peach's boyfriend	Peachsnogger has acquired a Baby Peach plushie, considering his interests you have to wonder what he intends to do with it... It's AWWWWWRIGHTTT!	He actually does list his "occupation" as being "Peach's Boyfriend"	He's actually gone out of his way to collect every Peach-related avatar on devianTART
Peachmongler has found he can get all the fanart of he and Peach making out he could ever want by tricking TARTlets into drawing it for him with contests.	Here, he orgasms to the news of Peach being confirmed in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Can he EVER get her penis out of his mouth for five fucking minutes?	A guy who comissioned Peachmongler has some comments...	Wait what? There's a girl out there calling herself "Peach"? And Peachsnogger is internet dating her? Does he know she's not the actual character? Does she know?
He probabl- No,Wait DEFINITELY fapped violently to this screenshot of Super Smash Bros Brawl

[edit] Wall of Shame

Peachmongler is well known in sick fuck circles for his hentai of Nintendo characters (especially Peach, of course.) Even though geeks who like to fap to Peach and Daisy's tits worship the ground he walks on his hentai is elusive and doesn't appear to be stowed in a gallery anywhere. Luckily, anonymous can always count on Google and forums full of perverts.

Peachmongler probably covered his keyboard in "pure love" after finishing this pic	He's 23 and this is what he spends all his time drawing	Because Peachmongler never signs his name, anonymous just has to guess if he drew something by comparing it to his other shit	This is what Peachmongler thinks about when he faps
Must be some of his earlier shit, because really, who else would draw this?	Moar of his earlier shit.
Moar half assed HosenFAILED shit.	LOL WUT?	i think sigurd is a pretty cool guy. eh fucks peach and doesn't afraid of anything.	Some moar shitty fanart for some fanfic HosenFAILED made but never released to the public to read. THANK YOU.
Moar of Sigurd's unsettling artwork. Note how the body is never properly shaped right and the Xbox hueg ghetto booty.	This is how Sigurd thinks lesbians have sex.

[edit] Inexplicable Fanart

A collection of fanart comissioned of far superior artists than Peachmongler, entries to his self-indulgent contests and just some creepy fanart his fans draw in general.

An example of creppy fanart.

[edit] Sigurd's Unique Art Style

Once upon a time Sigurd looked at his artwork and thought "This is some fugly shit", so he decided to improve his drawing style. This "improvement" consisted of looking for a relatively talented but unknown artist and creating bastardized versions of his Nintendo hentai. The artist in question was someone called "**" from a Japanese Oekaki board who, despite not having a site of his own or a proper name, has a small legion of drooling fans. Said fans have been known to cause mild drama whenever anyone mistakes Mystery Jap's art for Sigurd's anatomically impaired, wish fulfillment.

By following the guide even your mom can tell that this wasn't drawn by Sigurd.

Neither was this, if the fact that it isn't Peach didn't tip you off.

Pixellated penises = Mystery Jap.

[edit] Reaction to this article

Disappointing! Needs moar funny.

You can help by coordinating a multiple person interaction with this lolcow and calling Peach a slut or bimbo as he doesn't take kindly to people speaking poorly of his imaginary girlfriend or just tell him how bad he draws or how pathetic he is. Be advised that on dA he will report you instantly and bar you from commenting. He also lurks the chans in search of people talking about him (mostly the hentai and 34 boards) and prides himself in the fact that there have never been any real lulz coming from his butthurt. He’s so confident he’s gone as far as to give up his anonymity to respond in threads talking about him. He secretly hates and feels his love for Peach is threatened by fan boys as obsessed as him but likes to pretend he's a gentleman and would never be caught admitting it.

[edit] See Also

• Mario
• Nintendo

[edit] External Links

sigurdhosenfeld on DevianTART

• Peachmongler's own Peach website since Peach Paradise died
• PeachParadise.com - lol dead
• Sigurd's posts on the Peach Paradise forums - DEED
• Peach Paradise featured on Something Awful's Weekend Web
• The page on Weekend Web where they found Sigurd. Lawl
• The "new" Peach Paradise. PeachTECH
• A rant about fanart on devianTART that devotes some paragraphs on pages 1 and 2 to Peachsnogger.

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