Silkroad Online

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1 Silkroad Online
2 The truth about Silkroad
3 Silkroad online a Trojan virus?
4 The truth according to Joymax
5 Weapons
6 Jobs
7 Updates
8 External Links
9 Gallery of Silkroad
- 9.1 What you see when you play Silkroad
- 9.2 TRAILER

[edit] Silkroad Online

The lulz behind this awesome game

lol, furry.

The final boss in silkroad is Mudkipz.

SRO is a Trojan, oh noes

The fourth Reich is comeing!

This game is an MMORPG, it is molded after true events in which China traded to europe using the Silkroad at least 100 years ago. But it seems that we as the well edumacated people, were left in the dark as to what people back then were really like. Apparently, some chicks can float, some are furries, all held massive irrelevant weapons, and everyone can turn into a ravenous, red, pedo, buttsecks demon used to rape small animals with their boners over 9000 inches long. This game has been fucked over by RMTs (real money traders) so epically, that it threatens to tear time and space apart, where all of us would be tossed into a world of Nigras, furries, Brian Peppers, and computers totally devoid of porn. But, for a totally free game, it is worth some lulz, and is not the worst game on teh internets

[edit] The truth about Silkroad

Silkroad is not FREE and it never was. It's for those people who are either too poor to buy a decent MMORPG or for the mentally handicapped. You cannot get on the servers unless you can type your user/pass faster then the speed of light BUY FUCKING SILK TO GET A PREMIUM TICKET WHICH IS LIKE A MONTHLY SUPSCRIPTION. Joymax bans bots they don't like so new and improved bots made by Joymax itself can take it's place, forcing every 13 year old boy to milk their parents for money to buy silk. Premium tickets are buyable via silk which is buyable via IRL money. It's said it lasts for 4 weeks, but in reality it lasts for 3 weeks and 6 hours, thus stealing 6 hours worth of money from the players. Neither GMs or admins care about players so don't expect to see any improvement. Since the game comes from Korea, it features some amazing never before seen engrish action that makes the game's "story" even better!

MAJOR UPDATE! According to almost-creditable source, Joymax has been bought by a company related to Joymax. The following quote was on their official site, now deleted.

“	Although this is an issue that could not be foreseen, Joymax is responsible for not being able to provide stable service to our users.	„
—JoyMax pwning itself?

Nobody really knows what the fuck happened here, but since then the bots are being banned every week, dropping the lulz/drama level of the game almost zero. (Some servers are always full providing some level of drama) I doesn't matter really, the game is still shit.

Even that whomever wrote that has no picture proof of this "joymax" claim, we can be sure to say Silkroad lies about a lot of things. In the end they will pay a lot of their little mistake

[edit] Silkroad online a Trojan virus?

One lovely day all Silkroad players woke up to find out that their favourite game is recognized as a Trojan by AVG antivirus and removed some of the game's files, making it unplayable, causing drama across the intertubes. Joymax became butthurt and told the players to flame the company who made AVG because they didn't want the people know the truth about their game and they can't make money off of them. So every Silkroad fanboy (mostly the botters and all turks) went on a crusade against AVG, pruducing many lulz in the process.

[edit] The truth according to Joymax

Back in the days of the silkroad the people, used magic, glowed luminous colors, were sometimes monkeys, othertimes Mime monkeys, dont leik mudkipz, and turned into the aforesaid demons of buttsecks. When in demon mode, you become larger, grow horns, glow red, and recieve a massive erection used to spray AIDS over unfathomable distances into a single asshole of a weaboo. This also makes little boys a prime target on your minimap for aggrivated rape.

[edit] Weapons

There are no classes in the game, it all goes by the weapon you are using; you could have all your skillz set on magic, and then pick up some axes and hack at shit just as fucking well.

China

Glavie - A blade at the end of a stick.
Spear - A pizzapan at the end of a stick.
Sword - A small blade.
Blade - A bigger blade.
Bow - Not a blade.

Europe

Sword and Shield - Self explainitory.
2-Handed Sword - Once again...self explainitory
Dual Axes - Probably one of the coolest weapons in the game, you hold two axes and commence the pwn.
Staff - Used by the nukers. They die constantly and in an orderly fashion, on preset times decided by Admin who like to spawn hard fucking monsters already very far up your own asshole, resulting in a buttsecks implosion followed by nerd rage.
Crossbow - Usually used by nigras to make a fast getaway after stealing their Grandmother's welfare checks.
Some sort of wand - Spews happy magic.
Some other sort of wand - Shoots cum into another players eyes, causing temporary blindness.
Harp - Best weapon ever. Haven't you always wanted to kill with crappy chromatic scales? Think Tom Bombadil.

SOS, SOM AND SUN

Seal of Star, Seal of Moon, Seal of Sun, Seal of Penis. These are the weapon attributes that make every Silkroad player cream themselfs in joy. It's so rare that if you find it every player on the server will suck your cock for it. People sell these for 1000000000 billion gold and nobody can buy them unless they buy gold for the game. Pretty cool, huh?

[edit] Jobs

As I said before, there are no classes, but once you get lvl 20, you get a whole plethora of fun tidbits that stay fun for about 5 minutes. First of all, once ur lvl 20, you are able to attack any other player over lvl 20 for no particular reason, but be aware you will be wanted and have a bounty on your head, thus leading to your imminent death by an extremely high level Wapanese basement dwelling cockmongler who masterbates to his epic leet glave that he just used to turn your balls into ovaries with. But I have strayed from the point, there are three jobs you can choose from and freely switch between after lvl 20.

Theif - Theives are probably the one reason anyone keeps playing after the initial fail that is this game, they look very cool, but come up short in how well this job was integrated into the gameplay. (read trader)
Hunter - Hunters hunt theives, and like to give much pleasure to penis.
Trader - Traders are the jews of the game, they make all the money. There are different levels of trade depending on how much cargo you are carrying, it ranges from 1 to over 9000 star trade. ~~1 star trades means you can laugh in the thiefs' face becase they can't attack you~~ HOLY SHIT YOU CAN KILL A 1 STAR TRADE AFTER HE'S LVL 40 OMG WTF HAX!!! But on a 2 or more star trade you're pretty much fucked, because every thief in existence will hunt you down, rape you in the ass, kill your family after they raped your mom and then steal your goods.

[edit] Updates

Now you can´t do any trades after lvl 40 without getting nuked by a fucking theif.

You can kill people at a lower level and use a retared cat, pig, bunny, monkey, fairy to pick up money dropped by your victims.

Joymax makes even more money by selling fuck-ugly clothes which adds some extra stats. Whooptie-fucking-do!

Fortress War! The first guild who got the fortress will own it forever because they are so fucking strong no one has a chance.

Oh you can no longer have more jobs then one, and without an über 1337 you shouldn't even bother getting a job.

Now lvl 90 will open, so free botting and the hunt for the Seal of Penis has begun. Best part is all fags still thinks Joymax will let it out in end of April (suckas). They wont because Koreans steals you´re money and sucks as admins.

[edit] External Links

Main site
A silkroad forum
Cheap gold for silkroad :D
Silkroad Online botting community. Come on, you know you want to.
Another bot site. Also a nifty little server traffic chart.

[edit] Gallery of Silkroad

Awesome screenshots for a super fun game (lies)

Need a new way to look more gay, buy wings	No no and no, you are still a faggot	Only good looking guy in the game.	The girl is hot, but WTF the dude.
Female= Sexy , Dude = WTF	This is normal in the game, screenshot from Korean version of SRO.	People who play this are fags. Joymax way to block bots.. works well(not)

[edit] What you see when you play Silkroad

[edit] TRAILER

Warning! The game is not even close to this good. The trailer must be for some other fucking game called Silkroad because anybody who plays this on High Graphic settings will burn out their graphic card in 5.5 sec.