BDSM
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
BDSM is an acronym that stands for a variety of things depending on your viewpoint or by how much stubborn purist bullshit you can stand. If we're going to be anal here, it's supposed to stand for either "bondage, domination, sadism & masochism," OR "bondage, domination, slavery, mastery." Either one will do, unless of course you're one of said anal purists who fights over the rights to it like Israel and Palestine over a handkerchief-sized square of rubble on the Gaza strip. In which case you'll insist it stands for "Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism". But srsly, it's just sex. Only with MOAR mouth foaming and FATTER CHICKS (aka "BBW"s (yet moar acronyms!) commonly translated as "Bloated Beached Whale" or some variant thereof.
Truth be told, it could stand for bullshit, dongs, shit & your MOM but some silly j00 would get all bent out of shape over it, and claim that they're the authority on the subject.
Fucking cookie-guzzling cunts.
Contents |
[edit] Where Does This Shit Happen?!
BDSM communities exist OL, IRL, and in Abu-Ghraib prison.
These places are a veritable hive for drama, but more frequently are full of individuals looking for "hot bi babes" or an "Internet Mistress." Most of the people searching for the ever elusive pervert, are middle aged married men, who are fat, ugly or have a penis smaller than Paris Hilton's IQ.
In online communities, drama frequently revolves around who knows more about BDSM, has the most slaves, or is most deserving of respect. Then there's the bullshit about safety and sanity, with stupid fat bitches who scream abuse when someone who doesn't like fatties told them that in fact the dress they were wearing doesn't make them look fat --their FAT FUCKING ASS makes them look fat.
There is of course the male equivalent of the female fatty, and he's usually too busy whining about the fact that no-one cares about his intelligence, whilst munching down on his tenth packet of cookies of the day and crying onto his keyboard.
It is said that women in BDSM communities tend to be fat or insane, whereas the men in BDSM Communities are cuckolds, time-served sex offenders or morons. Everyone in the BDSM communities on LJ has Aspergers AND NO-ONE UNDERSTANDS THEM, DAMMIT. Most dominant men can be identified by the vile stench of sweat and their tendency to have pot bellies hanging over their ill-fitting chaps. Some identify themselves further by use of a belt, on which they hang floggers and whips they've never used on another human evar and probably purchased last Thursday.
Few people who talk about BDSM online have any experience of it and most are in fact virgins, which is a good thing. There is however something much, much worse than the online BDSM community, and that is the Gorean community. Goreans like to think they are into BDSM but they are, in fact, the perverted equivalent of a Star Trek fan, living their sad lives by a series of books written by a massive failure. BDSM'ers laugh at Goreans, unaware of the huge irony in this.
The more pathetic individuals identifying with BDSM communities refer to their affiliation euphemistically as the lifestyle when discussing it with others who have similar interests. This allows them to feel like they belong to a special secret club for perverts, when in reality it's just another load of bollox clique and no better than fucking Myspace for the afflicted.
[edit] Popular Activities in the BDSM World
- Holding online sparring events to see who's the more pretentious fuckwit.
- Arguing who has the best looking and slimmest female submissive. This is due to most of them being fat, so a thin one is generally held up as a prize.
- Competition between fatties to see which one can drink the most piss and eat the most shit, without dying. Obviously the one alive at the end wins.
- Prize winning competitions to see who can shove the biggest/most ridiculous object up their cunt/arse, how long they can keep it there --and if they'll eat it afterwards. And take photos. And survive the humiliation of a trip to the emergency room over it.
- Best rape tactics.
- Bullshit discussions on whether dominant men should be called Sir, Master, Dominus, Lord, King, Grand Master of the QUARGS etc etc.
- Equally bullshit discussions on whether dominant women should be called Mistress, Ma'am, Goddess, Queen, Domina, High Priestess of the unfettered-oik, etc etc.
- Being a TRUE slave.
- Which dominatrix/female slave received the more horrific cockshots in any given month, with prizes.
- Ranting about men not reading the entirely tl;dr profiles of princess wannabe's, and just sending emails with KNEEL BITCH!!!!! In the subject field. This is one of the most discussed subjects.
- Castration fantasies.
- Donkey punching.
- Being turned into a leather GIMP, and raped by niggers.
- Cock sucking techniques. (Yes, a useful discussion has been known to occur!)
- Raping YOUR MOM. And your sister. And her little dog too, and probably their puppies.
- Buggery with large vegetables.
- Fapping while discussing safewords on the Internets for at least 10 hours straight.
- Orgasm denial and humiliation techniques --i.e. being sent to buy a large cucumber and a tube of KY Jelly, and nothing else.
- Mockery of furries even though BDSM'ers are equally as mockworthy.
- Which maledom is the least oderous.
[edit] BDSM in the Media
- WWE
- Fight Club
- Your mom
- Bible
- National Coalition For Sexual Freedom
- DATE-RAEP!!!1111!!
- Strangling your whore to DEATH!!11!1
- Politicians and their filthy little thoughts of THEIR GRANDMOTHERS IN A LATEX BUNNY SUIT.
- gloriousmandestroya
[edit] Gallery
 Guess again. |
 Underneath the latex and leather clothing, these women each weigh 250lbs. |
 Ready for swimming. |
 BDSM punishment practiced by gays |
 BDSM in kid shows |
 BDSM punishment may also be done by humiliation, such as stripping someone naked and dumping them in a public place. Or worse, dressing them in a most embarrassing costume as seen here. |
 The average size of a submissive female. |
 The only way she can get laid, is to give herself up for degradation as a StayPuft Marshmallow Whore. |
 A submissive baby elephant. |
 T'anus's response to this thread. |
 Two BDSM whales in their natural environment |
[edit] External Links
Communication on B.com takes many forms (usually insanely repetitive and inane, much like 4chan's /b/ but with moar faggotry). Most posts are vacuous, whether it be Brit bashing (the site is American), Nigra bashing or dumb Yanks asking silly questions about whether "having sex without a condom could leave to any negative effects". This site was owned by a pedo called Andy, but is now owned by shit jazz-mag purveyor Penthouse. Accordingly, the forums now read like Readers Wives letters with generous helpings of pseudo-pedo porn featuring hot dogs and whip marks drawn on with lipstick. This site has plenty of flame opportunities and a membership of emotionally unbalanced fucktards. The Technique and Relationship forums are especially lulzworthy if you fancy having 90 fat howling bitches screaming at you for daring to question their equally fatfuck leather-vested "mathter's" authoritah. Please troll and raid immediately.
Britain’s Informed Consent, on the other hand is completely different; posts are strictly moderated by the site owner, a total knob known simply as Tanos. An emo Jew, Tanos is a nerd with forum software and a zionistic zeal. Apart from this, little is know about him except that he is a former Mossad hacker and was responsible for helping to plan 9/11. Since last Thursday, Tanos has been busy banning trolls and wannabe trolls in order to keep his forums pure and full of BDSM, even if it is at the cost of lulz. In the recent pogrom, even fat ugly women get banned. Tanos currently lives with two women who are brainwashed into thinking his abuse of them is completely normal and hides from various people in the scene who want to knock his lights out for being up his arse. He claims to have invented British BDSM but is more renowned for fail, AIDS and faggotry. His website is full of sick fucks and the rest are wankers, fat bints and tards.
Recently lolcows over at IC got much butthurt when they read this. All of them failed to understand the lulz and their leader Tanos claimed ED is a neo nazi site for pedos and furfags. There have also been many other threads with all sorts of fail, including taking out internet lawsuits and threats of violence against Anonymous. RAID RAID RAID RAID
The biggest gathering of trolls, clueless fuckwits and wannabee princesses EVAR on the internets. Owned by the same pedo who used to own BONDAGE.CUM. You WILL get syphilis from anyone registered on this site.
The saddest gathering of foot fetishists you will ever come across online. Threads mainly go one of two ways - "Why aren't there more women posting here" and "Fuck off women, you are all cunts because you won't come near our ugly fucking asses without being paid". Thus, the site eminently trollable and full of fail and AIDS.
London-based site whose members have a sense of humour and like to party hard as well as having the odd serious discussion (but not too often). Some fail and AIDS can be detected but largely, LFS people are moar interested in beating and fucking than playing internet BDSM expert on places like B.comedy and Alt.
[edit] See also
| GAY SEX GAY SEX GAY SEX GAY SEX GAY SEX | ANAL | ALL NIGHT ALL NIGHT ALL NIGHT ALL NIGHT ALL NIGHT |
| GAY SEX GAY SEX GAY SEX GAY SEX GAY SEX | ANAL | ALL NIGHT ALL NIGHT ALL NIGHT ALL NIGHT ALL NIGHT |
|
BDSM is a part of a series on acronyms. | ||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||
Categories: Sex | People
