Slipknot

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

“	its an metal band not rock	„
—An Slipknot fan

Slipknot's "amazing" drummer Joey. Notice the lack of drum kit. And the complete air of gothic faggot poser that seems to be spilling from him.

Slipknot's lead singer, Corey Taylor (Note the "Nightmare Before Christmas" cap hand-knitted by members of Slipknot)

A fan in official merchandise

Because your band is only as hardcore as its fanbase.

Better known as Slipcock, Shitknot, Skiplot, Slopkunt, I'd-Rather-Have-A-Blood-Clot, or occasionally even Slapknut is a fag-metal band from the middle of nobody cares. Originating in a mystical land known as "Iowa", Slipknotis an angsty mallcore band who are a favorite of 16 year old girls, poseur goths, indiefucks, 7-11 cashiers in their early to mid-20's and other Hot Topic drama whores. Consisting of at least 100 members (many of whom were unsuspecting victims randomly abducted off the street), Slipknot is fronted by singer Corey "Midget" Taylor, drummer Joey Jordison, and token fatass Shawn "Clown" Crahan. Their lyrics are typical angst-ridden shit covering subjects such as bleeding to death, swearing, Pseudo-Satanism, imaginary girlfriends, swearing, gouging your eyes out and also swearing. Don't forget about the whole, "We're not in it for the money, so go to Hot-Topic and buy a SlipKnoT bar stool, shot glass, hat, hoodie and T-Shirt, cause we're so not in it for the money!!!elevenone!!"

All of the band members wear distinct masks and boilersuits. A common unfounded rumor is that they wear masks to hide the semen and Santorum stains on their faces. While this may certainly be true, it's most likely because they're all fuck-ugly.

When not bitching, whining, and cursing in interviews about how "fucking brutal" they are, the band members can be found engaging in homosexual acts, raping Joseph Stalin, and beating each other to death with frozen cow heads and dead babies.

Some fans claim the band sold out with their latest release "Vol. 3: The Subliminal Verses" (their fourth album). This is false however, the band was a bunch of sellouts since the moment they made the band, of course, that's because every single kid in the town went to the mall to buy that "br00tal music" lol. in truth everyone knows that Corey Taylor listens to 'br00t4lz DEAthc0re muzak???'

Fans of Slipknot are called "maggots" (more liek faggots amirite??) because most of them are extremely fat, bad-smelling, slimy and pale-skinned, due to never going outside.

Gouging your own eyes out
Having your nipples cut off
Being castrated
Slitting your throat down to your stomach
Slowly being mutilated by a dull knife, while enjoying the fresh scent of Zyklon B
Herpes
In some severe cases listening to My Chemical Romance
A glass jar breaking in your ass
Being Rubber Johnny
Eating your own foot
Having violent, arm-flailing seizures every time you see someone in a blue shirt
Listening to minorities engage in asinine, IQ burning conversation on public transit
Listening to someone talk on the phone during a movie.
Eating dinner while perusing the Pain series
Taking up Scientology
Being hit in the face with projectile diarrhea
Waiting in line at the DMV
Working at the DMV
Standing outside waiting for someone else to wrap their shit up at the DMV
Vomiting at the DMV
Watching someone else vomit at the DMV
Debugging
Anus burning diarrhea
Stubbing your toe
Any kind of graduation ceremony
Church sermons

Typical Slipknot fan

The Slipcock fans are mostly frustrated rappers, 16-year-old girls, emos who think DJ is the perfect match of metal, gay men and of course, faggot nerds who think listening to them will make them cooler, anime lovers (A.K.A. otakus) who think mega-distorted guitars means talent and think Joey Jordisson is da best drumma evar. Here's a typical chat session with a fucktard fag- I mean maggot:

Chat session in a metalheads room (notice how every metalhead shit on slipknot)

Slipknotfan666maggotforeva:yo, everyone, what do you think about slipknot?

Helhammer213: Bunch of fucktards who think they're brutal and metal....pfft, losers.

Samael666:lol slipcock? man they FUCKING SUCK DICK!!

necrosisxcannibal: u mean slipkpop rite? they suck... oh man, what kind of retard can actually think they're metal? shit, Corey Taylor voice is laughable.

Georgenecklessfisher15: not again, that crappy band... go listen to atreyu and all of those gaycore crap you love, faggot.

Slipknotfan666maggotforeva: shut the fuck up slipknot is da best band eva heavies band and corey tayla is da best singa in da world, fuck you very much and fo fuck ya fatha, ya matha and ya dog, nigga, everyone is a fucking cock sucker filled with shit, shitheads fuck you and i will fucking rape you everyone the shit out of you, mothafuckas

Helhammer213:whatever...

Slipknotfan666maggotforeva left the room.

Another Shitknot fan

Some random chatroom, a guy named "xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx" entered the room.

xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx:hi

LoGiNeT: hey cock sucker

xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx:fuck off nigga

Goregrinderguy: hey, you actually like that shitty weeaboo band?

xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx: you ignorant fool, slipknot are so metal, know ya shit, nigga, they fucking heavy as hell

Goregrinderguy: uh.... right.... but, ever heard of something called METAL?

LoGiNeT: hahahahahahahahahaha good one

Burzum_noble_philosopher: you got owned faggot

xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx: slipknot is da most meta band eva!

Goregrinderguy: yeah, just like 50 cent and maroon 5

xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx: death metal sucks, just senseless noise, black metal sucks too, just.. noise! slipknot sings bout rel things, your metal is just noise xD xD xD

Goregrinderguy: well, yeah, real teenager angst ridden things i guess. Seriously, go fucking wait and bleed

xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx: you all suck xD slipnot rulz fuckers xD they own ya soul xD fucking fuckers go fuck your mom and dad

LordGore&Hammerfall: oh, i think i need a hug, that was so mean and tough....

TheUltimatedudE231222: lmfao

xxmaggotxx666xxxtremexx left the room.

(Notice how the Shitknot fans are wiggas.)

Burger King trolls Slipknot

Last Thursday, Burger King decided to make fun of Slipknot's shitty music and image by making their own version of a shitty Slipknot song. Clearly pwned, Slipknot tried to prove to their fans that they don't need welfare checks to pay for their food, and decided to sue Burger King. Burger King lulzed at them and then pwned them again in court. The song consists of guys in chicken costumes singing about eating chicken fries, and the whole song probably took all of a couple minutes to throw together, and it still managed to be 9,001 times better than anything Slipknot ever shat out of their recording studios, srsly.

Reactions of emos, otakus, posers and n00bs

"you're so close minded yo, slipknot ARE METAL asshole, take your brutal stuff and shove it, slipknot rulz biatch, they're da heaviest band eva, you bash them for the dj? hello! its the new millennium, djs and rap are a must of metal, you cant even play any kind of instrument, you suck and slipknot owns ya soul, nigga, they're so metal that they can be mixed with animes such as full metal alchemist, Naruto, and inuyasha"

this is a reaction of a well known emo/otaku YouTube user, Daniuzumaki metalheads sometimes say "hey, i think seiya is the best" an otaku says "you crazy?! andromeda is da best" "okay okay, youre the otaku, you know what youre talking about, thats ok" but otakus and slipknot fans, unfortunately arent the same case. "slipknot are so goddamn metal" "metal cannot have rap djs or such stupid guitar riffs" "shut up mothafucka, you dont kno anything bout metal, yo, slipknot is da shit, same with mudvayne and korn." For pop culture, slipknot sounds heavy, and real metal sounds just like rhytmless noise, and of course, they're scared and they desperately need buttsecks. Nuff said.