Something Awful Sycophant Squad
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
SASS or Something Awful Sycophant Squad is an international racist organization run by buttes and populated by people with nothing better to do but to expose the niggers and fat bitches on the Something Awful forums, including abusive moderator behaviour, fraud on the part of Lowtax and the general unprofessional air by the operators of the Something Awful business. As well it exists to parody and mock the general Goon happy, shiny attitude and cocksucking of Lowtax and the rest of the moderation team. Radium is also a frequent topic of conversation in his infinite worthless incompetence and inability to keep some fairly trivial PHP scripts and a handful of servers running.
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[edit] History
SASS was started as a copycat of the successful Rage Against the Forums blog from back at least 100 years ago, attempting to provide a more interactive, and ultimately more humourous experience for Goons and the five permabanned IRC pants-shitting trolls that make up SASS' membership.
SASS was successful beyond anybody's wildest expectations, and as of this writing sports over 450000 posts and almost 7000 users. This is growing at an exponential rate, daily, so these numbers might only have been accurate last thursday.
Since SASS's inception, thousands of goons have flocked to it, ranging from serious goons who want to see change to the Something Awful forums to goons only casually interested and want a more fun, less ban-filled environment where cool people can relax and take it easy.
[edit] The Great DoS Attack
Seemingly a goon took the time to get out of his hugbox long enough to ask a packet kiddie to borrow his botnet to launch a massive Denial of Service attack at SASS. As such SASS has been down for several days, and finally had its hosting terminated by Dreamhost (see below mention about how DREAMHOST SUCKS THE COCK).
[edit] Affiliation with Google
As a part of ongoing activities within the Buttesian Illuminati, Google has been brought in as a core affiliate. Buttes, other permabanned IRC pants-shitting linux trolls and Google have teamed up to ensure that SomethingAwful-related results are dead-last every time a result could be returned for Something Awful, as well as Something Awful being ranked among the top for searches like "Child molesting horse sex" and "lowtax has a tiny penis that is why his chink wife married him since she is used to tiny penises because she is a chink.". SASS also boasts the #1 Google results for "chinkwife" and "niggerdeath". SASS talks are in wresting control of "mangosteen 888".
[edit] Troubles with Dreamhost
Other than the Great Hack Attack (see below), SASS has had extreme troubles with how shitty Dreamhost really is. They fucking suck a lot, randomly change your server's IP address and gleefully will let your shared hosting server go down for days at a time. Fuck you Dreamhost, you fucking bags of shit.
[edit] The Great Hack Attack
At 19:39 PST on Tuesday Feb. 20, 2007 SASS's front page was defaced. The SASS admin team took eachother's dicks out of their mouths and set about reviewing hundreds of megabytes of logs to try to determine the cause. When no satisfactory cause could be found, a deeper review was performed where event timelines were taken into consideration and discrepancies in time became evident. As well, the defaced page mysteriously vanished, in spite of the administration team's efforts to preserve it as FORENSIC EVIDENCE. Finally, it turned out that access and error logs showed several strange GETs were done on the SASS page from a machine that belonged to Dreamhost (a workstation employees would use).
The admin team sent a note to dreamhost with all gathered evidence and resumed their massive orgy of gay sex. Finally, a reply was received from Dreamhost that shocked the Internets.
Thank you for writing. We have investigated this matter fully and have determined that it was indeed [REDACTED], a fairly recent DreamHost hire, responsible for this defacement. We at DreamHost take such matters very seriously, and understand that our reputation as a world-class web hosting company largely depends on the conduct of our employees. Support personnel here at DreamHost are entrusted with a great deal of power, and with that power comes trust - a trust that was, unfortunately, violated by this action. Effectively immediately [REDACTED] is no longer an employee of DreamHost Web Hosting, and will no longer have administrative access to our web hosting servers. While we have no reason to believe that he will take part in further action against you (he took the termination fairly well), we do recommend that you change all passwords associated with your account as a precautionary measure. We want to express our apologies to you, a long-time DreamHost customer, for what happened. There is no excuse for what happened, and we are sorry that it did. As a token of that apology, I have taken the liberty of crediting your account the value of $119.40 (a year's worth of your current L1 CDI web hosting plan). You may use it however you wish. I hope that by these actions, your faith in DreamHost will be restored. If you have any questions, please let us know.
As it would turn out, the Dreamhost employee who "hacked" SASS was a SomethingAwful goon, and felt it was his goony duty to sacrifice his job for the sake of defending the honour of Lowtax and Radium, incompetent admin duo extraordinaire.
A note to future wannabe hackers: using the root password you have access to legitimately to deface someone's website is not hacking or 1337. Also, losing your job for the sake of a stupid Internet forum is a brilliant idea!
[edit] Typical SASS User
The average SASS user is:
- Fishmech
- a racist
- a pants shitter;
- uses linux, BSD or a mac;
[edit] Subforums
There are four subforums in SASS, each gay in their own special way.
[edit] General Shit Talk
For talking about the general faggotry on the Something Awful forums. There are many "post pictures of ..." threads, ranging from Goon Girls (truly frightening) to goon supertards. As well, abusive moderator behaviour, Radium's incompetence and moderator retardation are all very popular topics of conversation. This forum is visible to guests.
[edit] Specific Chat About Threads
Selected threads are highlighted by SASS's members in this subforum. This usually includes goony activities, goons who ask for stupid advice (medical, programming, career and so on and being clueless lolcows in general. This forum is also visible to guests.
[edit] SCAM: Serious Conversation about Mangosteens
SCAM is the cool place to hang out. You can find most of the cool people there. In SCAM you can just chill and do whatever and totally relax. "Take it easy" is the SCAM motto, for example, that's how laid back it is there. Show up if you want to have a good time. Another good reason to show up is if you want to hang out with friends.
This forum is only visible to registered members, but since registration is free if you don't register you're a dumb cunt.
[edit] Rapaciously Arguing Practically Everything
RAPE is a forum wherein various SASS members discuss serious topics unrelated to SA. It's basically SASS's political discussion forum. Most RAPE threads are related to current events or news articles, and all of them are completely worthless. Dont expect a debate over niggers to come up at least once every 3 threads. Don't expect it because noone dwelling in RAPE has anything good to say about a nigger, ever.
[edit] Best of SASS
A forum dedicated to the least entertaining and dumbest threads on SASS. This forum is read-only since these threads are so bad nobody needs to continue contributing to them, and must protect the idiots in the masses from themselves.
[edit] Links
- SASS -- Something Awful Sycophant Squad forums
- SASSclopedia -- the SASS Wiki
- Buttes -- official Buttes eBusiness Directory
- SASS Thread in which the details of the hack emerge
[edit] 888
Categories: Sites | Trolls | In Jokes
