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From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit User_Talk:Christian Weston Chandler.

Chris-chan (AKA: Sonichu, CWC, Christian Weston Chandler) is a 26 year old self-proclaimed "high functioning" autistic virgin, and creator of his own awesomely drawn series of comics starring his brilliant crossover of Sonic and Pikachu. His hobbies include creating My Little Pony figures with his own hair, stalking women at the mall, finding a "Boyfriend-Free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up", and drawing pictures of himself having sex with his imaginary twin sister. It gets far worse, my friends... Much, much worse. Read on in horror...

Contents 1 Background 1.1 The Medallion of Power 1.2 The comic itself 1.3 Chris-Chizzy gets phunkizzy 1.4 Christian Weston Chandler's Illustrious Ancestry 2 Holy shit, he's not a Troll 2.1 Lonely Gentlemen, Take Notes 3 Chris-chan's Important Message 4 His God Awful Myspace 5 Chris Chan vs Mary Lee Walsh 6 Oh god, he wrote to Nintendo Power... 7 E-mails 7.1 How i shot wiki 8 Sonichu is original character so DO NOT STEAL!!1 9 Fanart 9.1 Chris-chan's Personal Rule 34 10 Related Articles 11 Links 12 Unfunny shit not made by Chris-chan

[edit] Background

First discovered on October 31, 2007, his shit usually relate to fictionalized versions of his own adventures at the local mall, in which he is accompanied by his imaginary friend/fanfic character Sonichu and ambushed by Jerkops, the fake police who give him a good ass-kicking. Yes, he can't win even in his own fiction.

His comic aside, he also has a Myspace and Youtube account. His Myspace describes his retarded quest for a "boyfriend-free girl", and verifies his stalking tactics. He's also Old Fashioned. His concept of a Sweetheart, for example, excludes the possibility that she might be black. Shortly after the discovery of Chris-chan, a /v/irgin on Ebaums revealed that he frequented the local hobby store, where said /v/irgin also hung out and had managed to catch a few glimpses of our favourite heart-shattered, soul-murdered nutcase playing Pokemon. He is easily identified by his multiple chins, homemade medallion, and extremely limited wardrobe - despite his chubby girth, he sticks to his trusty ol' tightly-fitted, K-Mart-sales-rack horizontal-stripe numbers in horrifyingly bright colors.

[edit] The Medallion of Power

Yes, Chris-chan, as you may have noticed, wears a medallion around his neck in homage to the character he created to be his alter-ego. In public. Not only is this desperately sad, but it looks like he put a lot of effort into it. It appears to be made from Crayola model magic, then painted and glossed over. Autistic faggots have far too much time on their hands.

This mystical object identifies him as the high-functioning Autistic individual that he is. It's speculated that it may also be the magical source of his Psychic Powers, Quick-Play Speed and ability to ward off the monsters hiding under his bed.

The value that Chris-chan places on this medallion makes it imperative that Anonymous obtain it by any means necessary for massive lulz. A WARNING: Because Chris-chan is autistic, it is entirely possible that he will go completely apeshit if any Anon attempts to steal it, as it is not uncommon for autistics to become obsessively attached to certain items. So don't blame it on Anon when he shanks you with his Pokemon card tin.

It is now known that Chris-chan actually has two medallions: The Sonichu medallion and an even more retarded Black Sonichu suggesting that he has far too much free time on his hands. Double, in fact, the amount originally suspected.

[edit] The comic itself

The comic stars Sonichu, a Pikachu/Sonic hybrid, and CWC, who for some reason is Sonichu's father. The comic initially stars Sonichu and 5 other multicolored OCs, until Chris and fictionalized versions of his childhood friend and the guy she fell for also turn into hedgehogs (this entire storyline is created for the sole purpose of portraying Chris as a victim and the guy who his friend fell for as a villain). He also fights frequently with his two nemeses, Mary Lee Walsh (see the appropriately named section for the lulzworthy explanation), and Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, who is not only a bad version of Chris-chan, but his COMPLETE OPPOSITE. You can tell he's bad because he left his white stuff in Black Sonichu's Rockets and because his name is Chris's real name spelled backwards. What an imaginative character! All this and more, with short episodes of Chris's escapades at the mall peppered in between.

What is very sad about the whole thing is that most of it is true. Chris has actually been arrested for "soliciting" and "loitering" at his local mall in Virginia. Some of the more disturbing parts of the comic involve his imaginary twin sister, Crystal (aka Crystalina). The same name he wanted to give his to-be daughter. In the comic, he summons his sister by using a "heart-torch" made of pixilblocks... And he actually made a real one outside of the comic. Later comics have him commenting on how attractive his sister is... A later upload by CWC himself verified that he wants to have sex with his imaginary twin sister. So, this Crystal would be both his daughter and sister... In other words, he wants to impregnate his mother, then have sex with the offspring.

As is that weren't enough, he also started drawing an anthropomorphized version of his dog. His dead dog. This is the only female character in his comics that he actually doesn't want to have sex with. Actually, I lied. He totally wants to bang the dog too. Oh well, he can always buy another one.

Another character from the comic is Sailor Megtune, a fucktarded Sailor Moon character based on one of his "girlfriends". Chris has a tendency to use "girlfriend" to describe any woman he stalks, but he got closer to Megan than any of his previous attempts. She drew a piece of fanart for the comic, and as a result Chris made sure to add overdone anime eyes to every character. Predictably, she got tired of Chris...

“	Yes, while I did have a crush on Megan for like a couple of years since I started playing Yu-Gi-Oh, she was rejectful of romance. In August, 2007 after the PaRappa the Rapper contest, she sent me an e-mail that fucked the shit out of my heart. It hurt so fucking much, it took me weeks to recover. But I eventually did, and I am, and have been since about mid-September, in a well-sound state of mind. So I had to go back to my fucking lonesome and damn enduring Sweetheart Search. sigh* The things I would do for TRUE LOVE and my future daughter.	„
—Chris-Chan

BAAAAAWWW, girls don't like creepy autistic guys who stalk women at the mall and draw comics about cartoon characters marketed towards children.

[edit] Chris-Chizzy gets phunkizzy

The "PaRappa contest" he's referring is the following: In July 2007, Sony held a contest (Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown) to promote their Parappa the Rapper video game. The grand prize was a trip to an arcade in Seattle. Chris Chan entered. He lost.

“	That stupid, no-good ADAM STACKHOUSE won the trip!!! He had MUSIC and MORE THAN ONE PERSON IN HIS VIDEO, which were in VIOLATION OF THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!!! Three other videos out of the remaining nine: APRELEWSKY, BRUDELL AND SURYABUCHWALD, ALL VIOLATED THE OFFICIAL RULES AS WELL! THOSE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS SHOULD HAVE BEEN DISQUALIFIED, PERIOD!!!! I am sooooooooooooooooooo ANGRY of the fact that the Playstation company and their Promotional Associates WILL NOT DO ANYTHING TO BRING THOSE VIOLATORS TO JUSTICE!!!! Go to http:/www.us.playstation.com/ and send register the complaint, in addition to my own, through their "Contact Us" link. So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!	„
—Chis-Chan, [1]

His submission can be seen here: [[2]] When he failed to win the contest, he got pissed off and made another video of him shooting a printout of the winner with a toy gun, over and over. [[3]] Not only that, but he had a comment from some fag pretending to be parappa saying that he did a "good job of dancing". Chris is so sad that he has to make fake accounts so his Myspace has any comments... Extra lulz in the fact that the Parappa Myspace was registered under "parappatherapingdog". It's no wonder that Megan left him after that drama. That, or maybe she saw his hand-drawn collection of Rule 34. That'd be enough to scare anyone away who wasn't already disturbed by his behavior.

[edit] Christian Weston Chandler's Illustrious Ancestry

Christian is descended from Anne Boleyn, apparently. The fact that Anne Boleyn only had one child, Queen Elizabeth I, who in turn had no children, makes this impossible. But, you know, whatever. He also claims to have been descended from one Daniel Weston, who supposedly came to America on the Mayflower pilgrim voyage. No such person is listed on the Mayflower log.

Christian's mother is 66 and his father is 80, meaning that she was 41 and he was 55 when he was born. One can surmise that his current mental state shows why having children so late in life is a bad idea. Regardless of this, Chris proudly brings up the fact that he is apparently a descendant of the Cherokee tribe, which may or may not be true. (He claims to be 1/16th. And at the same time he says he's a descendant of Queen Elizabeth, LOL WUT?

[edit] Holy shit, he's not a Troll

Unfortunately, this is not an elaborate troll. There is far too much detail in this web of depravity, ranging from the frankly bizarre Youtube videos to the disturbing amount of children's merchandise in his room.

There's also conclusive proof from around late 2004 that he was wandering stores in search of his true love. The following was found in a random blog on the tubes: [[4]]

“	Once upon a time, there was a guy who paced in front of Abercrombie. He'd come and do it for hours on end, just walking back and forth. He was an okay-looking guy, not evil-looking like Creepy Molester Dude. So he would pace for his allotted time, then leave. Sometimes as he paced, he would sing or shout. Nobody really could ever tell what he was saying. Oh yeah, and he always wore the same shirt, a nice little long-sleeved red and blue number that had a gold crest on the left side, and white collar and cuffs. Eventually, I guess he got bored of just pacing like that, because he started to bring his Gameboy SP with him. He had his headphones hooked up to it. So he would pace like that, all the time. His peak hours were usually between 2:00 and 4:00, and he usually left by 5:00.	„
—Anniebannany, [5]

However, it all gets much more awkward when he goes in and tries to talk to the poor ladies that work there.

“	...he came right up to the counter that I was standing behind, and he looks right at me, all fidgety and twitchy, and he goes, "You look to be about 19 years old, right?" I busted out laughing, because he guessed it right. Star was laughing too, over from the sidelines where it was safe. "That's exactly right," I affirmed.	„
—Anniebannany, [6]

For the rest of the story, Ms. Anniebannany describes his extremely unsettling and awkward advances toward her. He kind of gives his game away by asking if she has a boyfriend, fucks up a pick-up line, and outright asks if he can have her phone number, Of course, she refuses like any half sane person would, but he insists on handing her his personal business card. Stephen King might want to take notes:

“	So Christian came back, and handed me a card with a crudely drawn Sonic the Hedgehog and some other yellow Sonic-looking creature on it, along with Christian's name, email address, and website. It was a homemade business card. "That's my email address, and you can just email me sometime, okay? "Okay," I said, not intending to email him at all. He left the store, packed up his things, and went.	„
—Anniebannany, [7]

[edit] Lonely Gentlemen, Take Notes

Keep in mind that autistics can't help being socially awkward, but Chris is not content to stick with his own kind so that he might actually have a fighting chance at spawning the grotesque offspring he so desires, but insists on forcing his attentions on normal women; thus bringing upon himself the Wrath of both The Almighty God and The Almightier Internet.

Despite being completely obsessed with the opposite gender and his sad state of loneliness, the stunning hilarious truth is that instead of trying to engage other human beings in normal social activity, his brilliant ideas of bringing the ladies running are:

• Pacing around a lot, playing his GBAVideo
• Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then"
• Sitting around with a homemade sign that reads "I am a 25-Year Old, Single Male, seeking a Boyfriend-Free, 18-25-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white Single Female Companion" with an ARROW POINTING TO HIM.

His blog posts reveal that these are his exact tactics to attract female attention (he calls time thus spent as his "Attraction Time"). Given his success, it's obvious that the chicks sure love creepy sign-wearing 25 year olds shouting incoherently and watching Spongebob on their GBAs.

[edit] Chris-chan's Important Message

Enjoy, Learn, and Stay Straight (I AM SERIOUS)

Dear Christ Almighty.

In this nine minutes of pain, this broken-headed man-baby, closely resembling a malfunctioning robot trying to affectate human emotion, gives his stunted half-though life advice on the following:

Attracting the opposite gender

• He tells boys to play with My Little Ponies and girls to play with Transformers. This advice is supposed to help teenagers understand the opposite gender's hobbies. Oh right, Chris, a 26 year old virgin telling teens how to get laid. Um. Thanks.

Smoking

• He says it will cause lung cancer, and a bunch of other half assed facts he remembers from 7th grade health class. He also states that he wants to take every ounce of "tabacky" (so pronounced as to avoid unleashing the dark powers of that vile word) and shoot it to the moon.

Along with the tabacky, we should send all the grating, broken, homophobic autistics rubbing toy ponies on their awful faces to the moon too.

Drinking

• He says it's icky. And it can KILL you in a quick-crash second.

Homosexuality

• He rambles on about how being gay is bad and you shouldn't "become" gay. The style with which he does this is strongly suggestive of someone who's defensive about it and trying to talk themselves into something.
• He implies that while playing with My Little Ponies and Transformers, you might forget your gender and become gay (he therefore contradicts himself in a style that's little more than world-class). He seems very familiar with this problem.
• He proclaims that God doesn't like it and that it will be bad for your future family. Coming from a 26-year old virgin, this doesn't say much.
• He also calls being gay a vice citing, of all people, the famously bisexual Dr. Alfred Kinsey.

Again, this is a 26 year old virgin attempting to teach the world about love and sex when his only experience in such matters is stalking women at the mall and being molested by several therapists and clergymen throughout his childhood.

Being yourself

• He says people who don't like you for who you are are "peanuts".

So if you're a fag or a dyke, feel free to call Chris a peanut.

War (?)

• He says war isn't the answer, compliments will get you fuzzy wuzzies, war will get you prickly wicklies. Researchers are still attempting to find what language translates "people getting their faces blown off" into "prickly wicklies". Yes Chris. You should really tell all the families of the dead soldiers that War got their Dad/husband/uncle/brother/cousin 'prickly wicklies' and thats why they're dead.

[edit] His God Awful Myspace

http://www.myspace.com/sonichucwc

He keeps a 'to-stalk' list. PUBLICLY. Plus, it seems even CWC can't avoid the dreaded Myspace 'HAVE AN AWESOME EVENING' glitter pictures that every cunt has shat onto their page at some point. Are these the 'Gal Pals' he talks fondly of? For the sake of lulz, let's say yes.

“	Today, I was at the new Target store, across from Forest Lakes, just hanging around, not bothering anyone. And, from out of the blue, these two Manajerks asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT! I was there hoping to find an 18-23-year old, Boyfriend-Free girl, like I usually do. Then, from out of the blue, after I told them off, they came back with two Jerkops! And, during the middle of my speech, they chased me, pulled my pants, and pinned me to the floor. As I struggled, they handcuffed my wrists and legs, and they hog-tied me! Not only did I felt humiliated from being the victim, but I was angry at them! Not only for handcuffing me, but once again thwarting my efforts in trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl. They drove me to the county jail, but fortunately, they did not keep me there; I was released to my family. But now I'll have to go to court in the future. So now, I feel very miserable, sad, lonely and rejected.	„
—Chris-chan, [8]

Most of his rage and artistic inspiration comes from the fact that he got butthurt because he was stalking people at a busy place, and pretty much resisted arrest. The consequences of his run-in with the law remain unknown.

As you can see, a common theme with him is that it's not HIS fault that he can't get a girl friend. It's not the fact that he's a creepy man-boy who wears a Crayola medallion in public, or the fact that despite being a 26 year old virgin he has ridiculously high standards, it's that OTHER people are out to get him. In his blogs and comics, he always has someone to blame for "thwarting his plans to get a girlfriend", despite the fact that they're all just doing their jobs of enforcing an awesomely fucked-up false law. Although according to him, their jobs are to keep all in Virginia virgins forever. (All Hail the Grey-Haired Witch-Bitch, Mary Lee Walsh) Another arrogance in this is him assuming that they're even worsening his chances. When the cops are handcuffing him, 15 Aryan girls walked in hoping to find an autistic 22 year old guy, who wears an OC medallion, who has a horizontal stripe fetish, right?

Another incredibly sad hobby of Chris' is to collect My Little Pony figures. Not only does he collect them, he actually makes his own. Aside from the hilariously bad craftsmanship, he also created profiles for some of them. These include "Cheroki-Chan", his alter ego, and Crystal, his daughter who went back in time to help him find his "future Sweetheart". Considering he's also the creator of a Pokemon/Sonic crossover comic, this isn't that surprising.

Chris has a habit of banning anyone from his terrific MySpace who isn't a female. He'll show you who's boss!!!1

PLEASE KILL ME

He creams of getting married to his future sweetheart

There is seriously something wrong with this guy

Naruto, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo and my little pony? MOAR HYBRIDS????

As of March 2008, Chris-Chan's MySpace features a background version of the Macarena with Chris-Chan stuttering along with some improvised lyrics. It is only made bearable due to the hilarity that is his singing which sounds like an epileptic speaking in tongues while deep-throating a high voltage line. [9]

He also feels the need to reiterate the following quote over and over on his myspace, because you might not have noticed it the first time, when he put it in BOLD TEXT.

“	I would feel better when a woman who is interested in me is the one who does the "Date Asking." In short, I feel that I need a "Sadie Hawkins" situation.	„
—Chris-chan

[edit] Chris Chan vs Mary Lee Walsh

Chris-chan's arch nemesis is none other than Mary Lee Walsh!

“	That EVIL WITCH OF THE PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens, Mary Lee Walsh, a bunch of Non-Blue or Black impersonating JERKOPS, Manajerks and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #@&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that Love Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a Sweetheart was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!"	„
—Chris-chan, [[10]]

A quick google search on Mary Lee Walsh finds that she is the dean of Piedmont Virginia Community College. Apparently she thought Chris's "harmless" little sign was an attempt to find his Sweetheart on campus (what any normal human being would think), and ripped it up. She then had him kicked out and banned for a year. He obsesses over her because of this, and wrote about her many times in his comics as a Grey-Haired Witch with a shoddy Devil-Style Viking helmet, that he fought against with his Sonichu character. You can probably already feel your previous sympathy draining away as you read this.

An email was sent to her not long after the discovery of Chris-Chan, but it is unknown if she ever got the email or if she is aware of what he has written about her, though she has evidently obtained a copy of the "CWC On TV" DVD from her pawn, Susan Hannifan. Chris made a ha-ha-larious video asking for fictional character, Harvey Birdman's assitance to fight "THAT EVIL BITCH MARY LEE WALSH FOREVAR!!1" in a contest for the gay Adult Swim show, that only virgins watch, bringing us back full circle.

He proceeded to get pronounce "Birdman" as "Dird-Ban". Yes. You couldn't make that up if you tried. He then questioned why he didn't win.

For more lulz, he made a video of him fighting Mary Lee Walsh as a custom character in Soul Calibur 3. In his own words:

“	The EPIC Battle between the High-Functioning Autistic Warrior who was only searching for TRUE LOVE, and the EVIL WITCH of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens who previously SHATTERED HIS HEART AND SOUL by making it OBVIOUS that it was ILLEGAL to have a Sweetheart of the opposite gender in Virginia... "VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS!"	„
—Chris-Chan

“	Epic Narrator: THE SHITTIEST BATTLE OF MANKIND HAS JUST BEGUN!!	„
—HyperSonicXtreme

Even on the easiest setting, he has difficulty winning... For the record, many students and faculty at PVCC seem to have issues with Dean Mary Lee Walsh. Not that said issues are so clearly one-sided as the ones that CWC has with her. Also, note that despite his loud, squeaky proclamations of hate for Walsh, he still took the time with his Magic Markers to make hideous porn of her.

[edit] Oh god, he wrote to Nintendo Power...

Right when the lulz were dying down, Anon discovered that Chris wrote to Nintendo Power in April of 2005 to discuss the game, Sprung: A good American dating simulator that does everything one way or another, and was overjoyed to discover that they published his email. Here it is reproduced in its entirety for your reading pleasure (or displeasure):

“	I recently purchased a Nintendo DS and a copy of Sprung. I originally bought the game because I needed some lessons on what to say to, or do for, a girl. To make a long story short, I developed a fear that all the pretty girls are already paired up with a boyfriend. I've dubbed this social phobia Noiophobia [misspelled it apparently], after the Spanish word for boyfriend. Anyway, before Sprung, I was afraid to approach most women (FYI, I'm 22 years old). I tried to silently attract a boyfriend-free girl, mostly with signs, for over one year and four months. Then Sprung [provided me] with general things to say and do, so I felt more confident. When I tried my newfound expressions from the dating simulator, I forgot my fear of the infinitely high boyfriend factor, and I met a couple of lady friends with whom I feel more comfortable. So thank you, Nintendo and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed." -Nintendo Power v190, page 8 to 9 of Pulse	„
—Chris-Chan from the April 2005 edition of Nintendo Power

Chris proudly displays this on his website for all to see, oblivious to the lulz that ensue upon viewing.

[edit] E-mails

One anon sent him an e-mail full of fanart drawn by /v/. Lulz ensued when Chris-chan replied. Check it out.

MASTURBATIN' AND SQUIRTIN' has gone down in infamy. The same anon shortly after drew the image he requested and send it off.	Oh lawd...	Oh lawd again...	Do you think he'll like all these?
Oh. I guess not. OH SHITS HE KNOWS	IF I SEE THAT PICKLE ONE MORE TIME	This won't end well

[edit] How i shot wiki

CWC himself has made several attempts to edit his own article. Initially, he did this using his Reldnahc account. It's obvious that Reldnahc is CWC upon viewing his contributions. [[11]] Not only does he immediately attempt to upload one of his fucktarded songs, but he tries using 1337 HTML skills in an attempt to make the article as well designed as his website. He also uploaded rule 34 of his own characters. He tried to upload other images, like those of his blow-up girlfriend, but fortunately they appear to have been removed.

Edits to the article itself are mostly random. He mainly added chunks of text from uncited sources. From these, we learn that Megan, another victim of his stalking ways, shattered his heart. He also printed out the Sonichu News Dash on his website and distributed it at his school, and had another conflict with Mary Lee Walsh over it.

It seems that he finally realized the context of the article and snapped when he created another account, Chris-chan, and replaced the entire article with the following:

“	Stop spreading LIES about me!	„
—Chris-chan

This was, of course, unsuccessful, unless having a vandalized version of the article up for less than a minute is a good thing. Second attempt. [[12]] Third attempt. [[13]] The fourth attempt. [[14]]

“	And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.	„
—Chris-chan

This is hilarious coming from a 26-year old virgin who plays Yugioh, collects My Little Pony's and draws pictures of himself having sex with his imaginary twin sister. Fifth attempt. It seems that Chris has some sand in his vagina over someone who's actually successful. [[15]]

“	He's a more LUCKY S.O.B. than I can ever surmount to. RUIN HIS REPUTATION. Joshua Martinez. PS YOU DID NOT HEAR THIS WHOLE THING FROM ME.	„
—Chris-chan using his Glith account

Personal army? Don't think so, Chris. In his 6th attempt, he seems to think he can somehow use his incredible HTML skills to remove the article. [[16]] Based on the consistency of his pageblanks, we know 2 things. First, he checks this article on a regular basis(Hi Chris!), and second, has no idea how a Wiki works.

[edit] Sonichu is original character so DO NOT STEAL!!1

Wishful thinking will get you nowhere	"MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS!"	"did you bathe?" "no"	Megan, one of the many victims of Chris' stalking habit. Note the fear in her eyes.
IF I SEE ONE MORE FREAKIN' PICKLE...	Pussy deflector	Why do I get the feeling that he wants to suck a dick?	Why do I get the feeling that he wants to fondle balls?
Why do I get the feeling that he's into bestiality? (Note: He looks fatter when he's facing sideways)	lol wut	What he jacks off to	He wants ladies to fuck him
FFFFFFFFFFgsfds	"In the end, he'll say, 'One girlfriend, please.' Because he'll probably fail again..."	The Perfect Plan	rare sighting of Black Sonichu
Uploaded by Chris himself. Finally, something other than Talladega Nights to play...	My God, we've reached critical mass. It's a freaking rule 34 singularity	It's as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced	"About average... Athletic and toned... Slender..."

[edit] Fanart

“	I often do a "Search" of "Sonichu," and, currently, and I only want to see links to my Sonichu Site, or related sites. If I see links to websites with any person who has used his name, I will view it. If I should see the "Sonichu" name used to describe any character, other than my original Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, I will send you an E-Mail to inform you if you have intruded into Copyrighted territory, and request that you remove the name from your website, or forum entry, and change it to something else. If, however, you do not abide to the request, or not reply to the E-mail within 14 days, I may take legal action against you.	„
—Chris-Chan, [17]

ZOMG! ED is in danger of a lawsuit! To counter this, here is all the crap we have stolen/made fun of/shit out to spite him.

DO IT FAGGOT.	SONICHU MAH BOI		E-mail sender's art of Rosechu with pickles
The Only Reasonable and Inexpensive Idea he could ever fucking think of		Oh god...	If only...
I WILLLLLL SSSSUUUEEE!	Epic fail	How the fuck does this work?	ENHANCED REMAKE
Chris-chan in five years	He will show you online	Sronikjew Hredgehawg	It is strongly reccomended that you draw more pickles on rosechu. MOAR!!!
Rosechu IS a pickle.	Rosechu with MOAR Pickles!	MOAR PICKLES, MOAR!	Found on 4chan's /b/
		"OMG ORIGINAL CHARACKTERZ DO NOT STEEL!
		Win!
OC Battle!	Maybe Chris-chan just doesn't like spoofy, fucked-up parodies.		No niggers allowed.
			The evil Mary Lee Walsh
Chris's Imaginary Twin Sister doesn't have a problem with the evil Mary Lee Walsh	fapfapfap	The sign says it all.	posted on his site's shitty guestbook.
The reason CWC hates black people.	He made me burn mah DS!	Shmorky, Kevin Bowen, and Axemaniac of Something Awful poke fun at him.
Even Furries don't like Sonichu.	When Sega and Nintendo's dicks collide in the fertile mind of an Ass-pie	Sonic characters can never be sexy; This is the lawd's decree.	CWC gets his card crushed.
CWC doesn't support gays but he DOES support pedos.

[edit] Chris-chan's Personal Rule 34

Keep in mind, all of the following images were drawn and uploaded by CWC himself. Staring directly at them is not recommended.

“	Like that having the sign next to, on or around me, represents, in a Body-Language way, shows that I may have some sort of mental condition, or that I was seeking a girl, only for Hanky-Panky. Of which is not true at all; I need a Girlfriend, Solely for LOVE and TRUST!	„
—Chris-chan, on how he's a good person

Looks like he beat us to it.

He ruined Mary Lee Walsh!

[edit] Related Articles

• 4chan
• fanboi
• Brian Peppers
• Aspierations
• Desperate

[edit] Links

• CWC's Sonichu Site
• His YouTube profile
• His Match.com Profile
• His Facebook profile
• His AOL profile
• His MySpace profile
• Older, abandoned Myspace profile. Also full of fail.
• This is beyond creepy Read Mirror Here "Deleted my Blogs, so you can't pick on me." BAWWWWWWW
• What others think of Chris
• His failed attempt to sell his abused Gamecube
• Another attempt to sell his Gamecube We have a winner! Has Chris-chan found his one true love at last?
• *SHOCK**HORROR* he has an Uncyclopedia account
• [18] Behold the gayness of his Animal Crossing ROUTINE he does. Every day. And he talks to an imaginary Snowman.

[edit] Unfunny shit not made by Chris-chan

• Fake SheezyArt account
• Fake "New" Youtube account
• Fake MySpace account for Mary Lee Walsh
• DeviantART account of some person pretending to have invented Sonichu

4chanarchive has archived threads related to this topic for græt justice. [Collapse] [Click for links] 1 7631380: Sonichu 7656940: Sonichu response

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