Sorostitute
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
[edit] Sorostitutes move to college
Sorostitutes, like normal women, needed the daily bitch slapping, bukkake, and alchohol to survive. Since, sorostitution was declining due to Bill Gates' porno-machines, the sorostitutes were sent by God, Ron Burgandy, and Darth Vader to college campuses where they'd be able to serve man better. During the move, often refferred to as the Trail of Tears, many sorostitutes died from lack of washing dishes and sucking multiple penises while inserting un-holy sized dildos into their vag-tanks. There are hundreds of landmarks noting the brave sorostitutes who've fallen, but they are disguised as civil war battle fields.
[edit] To become a sorostitute, you must:
- Pay for your friends. Sorostitutes refer to this as sisterhood.
- Drink lots of cheap alcohol.
- Dress like a slut.
- Master the dark art known as Facebook.
- Sleep with frat boys, including the gay ones.
- Drive your daddy's Lexus.
- Swallow
- Solve all of your problems by either secks, oral secks, or anal secks
[edit] How to spot a sorostitute
With training, a sorostitute is easy to spot, the different types however, are harder to distinguish. The average sorostitute is, at any given time:
- Talking loudly on her cell phone to either her boyfriend or a fellow sorostitute
- Wearing either a frat mixer shirt, a sorority shirt, or designer clothing
- Drunk
- Wearing massive amounts of makeup and eyeliner.
- A bleach blond with at least 2 inches of dark roots growing out
- Fake tan baked to a delightful orange color
- Wearing more makeup than a clown and enough hairspray to deplete the ozone.
- Incessantly using the phrase, "I know, right?"
- Carrying a massive diaper bag, which contains the essential strawberry vodka, at least 154 condoms, and at least 68 Grey's Anatomy's quotes.
- hanging out with guys wearing corona T-shirts,khaki cargo shorts and flip-flops
