Soulja Boy
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Proof positive that even mentally retarded Nigras can attain high levels of success, Soulja Boy Tell 'Em is one of 10,000 children Flavor Flav forgot he had. His real name is DeAndre Cortez Way DaChikin Cotton Wattamellonz. A seventeen year old rap artist, YAHHH he's the mastermind behind that hip hop song that ends every line of every verse by stretching out the words "HO", "WHOA", "VIDEO", or "LOW". His first, and hopefully last, YAHHH album Souljaboytellem.com was released on October 2,YAHHH 2007 and was purchased by over 100,000 mentally unstable people with no concept of talent, YAHHH or apparently money. After extensive research by the British Broadcasting Corporation, YAHHH in cooperation with a slew of random educated people, YAHHH it was discovered that his music does, YAHHH in fact, YAHHH use English,YAHHH contrary to the running theory that he was merely imitating the sounds an elephant makes when it mates with a cactus, YAHHH have a listen!
[edit] Early life
Soulja Boy was shat out YAHHH mentally retarded and deaf by a 12 year old mother named Trashonda. At the age of three, Soulja Boy recognized his ability to say things repeatedly and play the skin flute. It wasn't until the age of five that he began to beat on random surfaces, YAHHH such as tables or desks, YAHHH and to apply his repetitive lyrics to these "beats". In kindergarten, YAHHH during recess, YAHHH the children would crowd around the picnic table as he would make unnecessary noise and to jerk his head to the side as if he had some sort of mental handicap. UPDATE: It has been recently confirmed that "Soulja Boy" is, in fact, profoundly mentally retarded. YAHHH
One morning in 2007, Soulja Queer awoke with a memory of his kindergarten years and decided that it was time to let the world know of his ability to wreck music, YAHHH yet failed to use a fucking crack for FL Studio.
Typical Soulja Boy Fan[edit] Criticism
Unfortunately, an entire handful of losers admire Soulja Boy's music(if you can call it that), YAHHH causing him to grow a larger head and a nose that could cause onlookers to mistake him for Pinocchio (or a Nigger Jew). The larger, YAHHH more intelligent, YAHHH population of the world despises it. Soulja Boy is the target of much criticism, YAHHH the majority of which he is described, YAHHH in more simple terms, as having shitty music.
In interviews, YAHHH Soulja Boy has attempted to dodge his criticism, stating that "Those who enjoy my music do not have a knowledge of what real music quality is" and "My brain can only remember a handful of words so I am only capable of repetitive wording in my lyrics" he also added "YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!"
[edit] Advice: when you encounter a Souja Boy... FLAG IT, FAGGOT
[edit] Sample Soulja Boy lyrics
(I swear to fucking God that's what I thought he was saying the first time I heard it)
- "Souljah Boy up 'n 'dis ho. Why me crank 'n why me roll? Why me crank dat Souljah Boy 'den Supaman 'dat ho! Now YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!!! Crank 'dat Souljah Boy! YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!! Crank 'dat Souljah Boy! YOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!! Crank 'dat Souljah Boy! YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! Crank 'dat Souljah Boy!"
- Lyrics to Wank That by Soulja Fag:
Soulja Fag a big fat ho! Watch me wank it, AIDS that bro Watch me wank dat, Soulja Fag Then shoot dat soulja-ho!
Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch
Soulja Fag a big fat ho Watch me suck then watch me blow God damn shoot that soulja-ho Yeah watch me wank dat fagporn
Super fag, now watch me jock Jocking on them tranny men When I do dat Soulja Boy I lean to the left and fuck dat rectum Now you
I'm wanking on you, I'm wankin on you And if we get to fuckin' Then I'm cocking on you, then I'm cockin' on you You catch me at yo local party Yes I suck it every day Hetros get mad cuz I got me some gay apes
Soulja Fag a big fat ho! Watch me wank it, AIDS that bro Watch me wank dat, Soulja Fag Then shoot dat soulja-ho!
Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch
I'm bouncin' on my bro Watch me super soak dat bro I'ma pass it to Bubba And he's gon' wank it up fo' sho'
Peoples wanna shoot me Soulja Fag, I'm the man They be lookin' at my neck Sayin' they should cut it off Man, man Watch me do it, watch me do it Screw, screw Let get to it, let get to it
Nope, you can't do it like me I'm gay, so don't do it like me Folk, I see you tryna do it like me Man that cunt was ugly
I'm too fresh off in this bro Watch me wank it, watch me roll Watch me wank that Roosevelt And super soak that bro
Super soak that bro Super soak that bro
I'm too fresh now watch me do you Watch me shuffle, watch me do you Watch me wank that Soulja Fag, now Superman do it
Superman do it Superman do it Ahh, that cum was yummy
Soulja Boy a big fat ho! Watch me wank it, AIDS that bro Watch me wank dat, Soulja Fag Then shoot dat soulja-ho!
Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch me you (Shoot dat Soulja Fag!) Now watch
Now watch Ahh, yoooou
- Lyrics to Crank That Cotton Gin by Eli Whitney
Chorus: Eli Whitney made it OHH! Watch me plant it watch it GROW! Watch me crank that cotton gin and cotton I will SEW! Now watch me YOU! Crank that cotton gin (x4)
YOU! Eli Whitney tell 'em I got a new machine that's gon' make cotton pickin' real easy. You gotta put the cotton in then crank it 'till it come back out AWWWWW... YOU!
Chorus (x2)
Eli Whitney made it OHH! Watch me sell it now I'm paid Cotton I will SEW! Now watch me show it to the slaves Tell 'em all the way to do it This machine will make they day Except now I just revitalized the slave trade YOU! That's cotton they be plantin' And now I got Frederick Douglass doin' all his rantin' You catch me at the ol' plantation yes I run it every day Abolitionists gettin' mad cuz I'm supportin' slavery
Chorus (x2)
I'm workin' all the slaves Watch me put 'em in they graves I tell 'em to pick cotton And they all do what I says Nat Turner wants to kill me Eli Whitney, I'm the man He be lookin' at my slaves Thinkin', "I am gonna free them!" They will plant No, no I can't No, you can't invent like me Yo, so don't invent like me Folk, I seen you try to invent like me Your machine was inefficient
Chorus (x2)
Cotton's fresh now in the States Makin' money and it's great Watch the slaves crank cotton gins and abolitionists hate Abolitionists hate Abolitionists hate Abolitionists hate Abolitionists hate Abolitionists hate Abolitionists hate Abolitionists hate Abolitionists hate Slavery back to the fore The North's gon' even up the score Cuz' they gonna send they troops to fight the Civil War Fight the Civil War Fight the Civil War Fight the Civil War Fight the Civil War AWWWWW... YOU!
Chorus (x2)
Soulja Queer wrote these lyrics while attempt to recite the alphabet,YAHHH but realized he could only remember O and U because he is a Fucktard. This mentally retarded baboon has single-handedly set African-Americans back 50 years with the droning constipated noise coming from his mentally incapable mouth.
It is common knowledge that Soulja Fag has the IQ of a premature-born blind goat which mated with a donkey because it couldn't tell the difference between itself and an animal of another species, because it was fucking retarded, like Soulja Boy.
[edit] The lulz of it
As it so happens, YAHHH Soulja Boy has achieved a degree of popularity amongst Jewtubers as a source of self-gratification and puerile humor. Because he is, YAHHH on the whole,YAHHH rather illiterate (and thus inherently funny, YAHHH if not intentionally so),YAHHH his hit single "Crank Dat" now has over 9000 parodies on Jewtube, YAHHH including ones featuring shitty cartoons such as Spongebob and Dora the Explorer (moar like Dora the Deporter, amirite?). While they're all the video equivalent of tracing,YAHHH they do have the redeeming feature of more competent dancing. A few samples...
[edit] Hip hop spokesman shares his views
Angry African Nigra responds:
[edit] Trolling: the chat room
Quite possibly the highest concentration of black people on the internet, YAHHH this is where retarded niglets with enough money fo' de' computer type in ALL CAP$ BEC4U$E DEY ARE $O GANG$TER YO. YAHHH This chat room has been scientifically proven to be the #1 easiest place for a young troll to rake in some uber lulz. Seriously. YAHHH It's so fucking easy.
Post anything along the lines of, YAHHH "blacks are stupid," and you're sure to get a crapflood of "SDFU U FUKIN CRACKA IM NOCK YO ASS TELL ME WERE U LIVE MOTHAFUCKA TELL ME WHERE U LIVE IMA FUK U UP"
Because this chatroom serves as a microcosm for the entire black internet population, speech patterns of the internet nigger become glaringly apparent. YAHHH Common online acronyms have become corrupted to suite the preferences of said nigger, YAHHH for instance:
- STFU becomes SDFU
- WTF becomes WDF
This is because the nigger alphabet lacks the letter "t". YAHHH If you want to blend in, use phrases along these lines and make your name something common, like xXX$GHETTOBLASTAPOPPINFASTA$XXx. Have fun torturing the black mind. YAHHH
Fun fact: Claim you have a big dick (regardless of your race) and people will ask to see it. YAHHH This is a good time to rickroll them. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
[edit] MOAR chatroom trolling
- Connect in TWO different windows, pretend to be a l33t haxx0r AND Soulja Cunt, and then have him banned from his own chat room.
- Pretend to be Soulja and start creating drama and lulz. He actually goes on there often.
- Avoid the wordfilter of the word NIGGER by replacing the capital i with a lowercase L. Same applies to watermelon. Yes, watermelon is filtered. Srsly. Also, Anon is filtered which is some dumb shit since "Appear Anonymously" is an option on chatting, with the names as Anon(4 digit number), so when mentioning the Anonymous, say Ano nymous or something instead.
- 卐卐卐卐卐 WHITE POWER 卐卐卐卐卐
- 卐卐卐卐卐 WHITE POWER 卐卐卐卐卐
- 卐卐卐卐卐 WHITE POWER 卐卐卐卐卐
- HACK, The following members: Jerome111sexy (Little bastard who likes black power), Byrdgang5 (HATES Anonymous), MAMIISEXII (Slut who fucks chikinz), LiLFredBabi (Enjoys posting pictures of his tiny dick. Thinks white people are assholes: PROVE HIM WRONG!), MrHooperCbrezzy (Thought he could beat spammers at their own game by repeatedly saying HOE SHUT UP), and basically, every fucking black person on the chatroom who's not a clever troller.
- SAGE
- DESU
- Aryan Brotherhood for life.
- Nazi Lowriders > SouljaFag
- Stick your fist in your mouth so we both get erections!
- Go into a text program like Notepad, hit enter and period one after another until it's XBOX HUEG, and copypasta it.
- Use social engineering to get personal details of all his faggot fans, and then impersonate them when they are away - post their details, saying you "wanna settle this man to man".
- Get their phone number and give them Tom Green's or Hal Turner's instead of yours - nothing generates more lulz than a crackheaded niglet whore calling up a known white supremacist.
- Claim that, due to the amount of racism and spamming, the chatroom is being moved to souljaboychat.on.nimp.org (call yourself ADMIN or something).
- Pose as Soulja Boy, Ice-T, 50 Cent, or any rapper, and the people lap it up. Also, discuss your trolling plans with fellow Anons, the retards don't suspect a thing!
- Link to www.wowomg.com (ALL U PEEPZ LIKE WARCRAFT?) or Goatse (to make the URL less conspicuous, link to photobucket images of goatse or on an imageboard). It is probably a good idea to use tinyurl.com or tubeurl.com to disguise wowomg.com or meatspin.com
- Obviously, to detect other trolls, declare that u liek mudkipz and if anyone else does, they must PM you.
[edit] Trolling: Soulja Boy himself
As with all typical retards, Soulja Boy has an online personality. Go to his Youtube account: it has EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. His youtube channel has:
- his sites, inc. his Myspace, Blog, IM, Chat, etc.
- his CELL PHONE NUMBER
- HIS XBOX GAMERTAG (XBox fans, you know what to do, it's Souljaboytellem).
DO IT FAGGOTS.
[edit] Soulja Boy's BAWWWWWWing
Apparently, Soulja Boy really, really dislikes his 'haters.' As you can see in the following video, Soulja Boy himself and his tar-baby friends go apeshit and 'tell off' their 'haters' for about four minutes long. The results are unintentionally hilarious. Apparently, SouljaFag expects everyone to take him seriously although he is unable to form a coherent sentence. Recently, some nazis started throwing nigger comments around. Souljafags and hippies responded, resulting in a full-blown race war on the comments page, which of course results in a lulzfest. Enjoy!
Because the interfags be serious business, yo. Also of note is that he is a macfag, and upon revealing so, he claims his mac is "a big ass computa wi' no box"
[edit] Soulja Boy vs. Ice-T
Whats even more lulzy is the fact that other rappers who have been in the industry longer than Soulja hate him. The all powerful, egotistical Ice-T released a track where he flames Soulja Boy and tells it like it is.
Being the little bitch that Soulja Boy is, he responds with a video clip thats 7 minutes long basically consisting off "Stupid ass old nigga". GREAT COMEBACK! I'm sure Ice-T was crying himself to sleep for many nights on end.
Ice-T responds! Soulja Boy was so butthurt that he was told to "Eat a dick" that Ice-T felt it upon himself to apologize for telling a child that he was wrong. Ice-T then describes how he's better and richer then Soulja Boy and since Soulja Boy responded to the video he just dug himself a deeper grave. Apparently all the users on YouTube and bloggers on the internets are his personal army and they'd start burning all their Soulja Boy merchandise for revenge.
And if that wasn't enough, yes it continues, Soulja responded with a half ass drawn, piece of shit "cartoon" in response to Ice-T's previous video. Its poor quality and horrible English is sure to leave you on the edge of your seat wanting more.
[edit] HACKED LOL!
Around the 24th of August 2008, some Azn dude called Ko phished Soulja Boy's MySpace, YouTubes and emails, and posted scat porn for all of Soulja Boy's fans to see. Soon enough Soulja Boy regained control and then posted a video calling his personal army to take on the hacker. However this backfired and the internet hate machine sprung into action to defend our great hero Ko and DDoS'ed Soulja Boy's website in the process, putting the uppity fool in his place (27/08/08).
The first one, Ko has pwned Soulja Boy
The second one, full of BAWWWWWWW
Wrong move Soulja Boy (NOTE: check out his backup dancers gestures for extra lulz)
Ko reminding Soulja Boy he had it coming
A message to Soulja Boy
A message to Soulja Boy #2
| — Soulja Boy |
 TERMS AND CONDITIONS |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 If only the real Soulja Boy was this honest |
 It was Mudkips all along! |
 |
 |
 |
 Soulja Boy messed with the wrong azn |
 |
 Souljaboytellem.com Chatbox hacked by Anon. |
 Do Soulja Boy fans like horse porn? Only one way to find out! |
 A wild goatse appears! |
 Just saying hai2u |
 Even mudkipz joined in |
 Even the KFC looters made it |
 "What's the difference between a bench and a nigger?" |
 Site closed due to Botnet. |
 Moar AIDS |
 Due to AIDS |
 NEVAR FORGET |
 Wait, what? |
 LOL |
 Black Gay Homies |
 Soulja Boy is a scientlogist! |
[edit] Gay niggers? On my internets?
On 09/03/2008, footage of Soulja Boy partaking in gay nigger sex was leaked onto the interbutts. Anonymous, being the internet heroes they are, felt it their duty to spread this shocking new to the world.
For great justice, you can digg the article here.
Soulja Boy later admitted to his habits in a youtube video.
| — Soulja Boy himself referring to a room full of dudes |
[edit] Niggers never learn
Not long after the first, a second tape was discovered. Shock and disgust ensued.
| — Soulja Boy himself referring to a room full of dudes |
| — tomporker |
| — Reevefn |
| — chrispoole1 |
| — realhiphopfan |
| — wrongpaul |
[edit] Soulja Boy: Videogame Reviewer
In addition to being a proficient musical artist, Soulja has also branched out into the field of professional video game reviewing. In his debut YouTube review, Soulja Boy delivers an insightful, witty, masterful review of the Xbox Live platformer "Braid."
[edit] Discography
Albums: Souljaboytellem.com. Seriously, who names their album off of a website? A nigger, thats who.
Released: Don't care.
Rating: 0/9,000
Sold: About sixty million retards have purchased this product.
Genre: Failcore
[edit] See also
[edit] Links
- Soulja Boy's Chat Room - Raid for easy lulz
- Soulja boy's Myspace
- Soulja Boy's Newgrounds
- Gay sex tape 2
- Proof that Jewish/Australian journalists are basically press-release whores.
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Soulja Boy is part of a series of topics related to Black People. ☻ |
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Soulja Boy is part of a series on Music. |
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