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Good Korea

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A typical pub in South Korea

Good Koreans are famously hard workers. This boy likes his job so much he'll work for less than a cent an hour!!

Not to be confused with Evildoer Korea, Good Korea (or combined as one word is Gorea) is a friend of all peace-loving, patriotic people. They make good stuff, but not as good as our stuff, and they sell it cheaply so that our importers, distributors, wholesalers and retailers can all mark it up for huge profits. In this way they make capitalism work and democracy thrive. Good Korea was one of the United States' 20th century acquisitions in accordance with the long-term Manifest Destiny.

1 Geography
2 People
3 Government
4 Economy
5 US Military in Good Korea
6 How to Troll Good Korea

[edit] Geography

Good Korea is immediately south of Evildoer Korea, on the bottom half of a peninsula that is west of Japan. It has water on both sides. It is a very convenient place for throwing things into Evildoer Korea. It used to have some good surf beaches, but now they are rather untidy.

Looks like no one stuck around to clean up after the party

[edit] People

Sometimes uppity Koreans show support for the Darkies

There are millions of Asians there, but they all make Samsungs, Kias or other stuff that is good but not too good. Because they are not Evildoers, we allow them to eat and don't shoot them very much. When not working or eating kimchi and squid, Good Koreans spend most of their time engaging in popular ancient Korean pastimes such as getting numerous plastic surgeries, drinking some kind of watered down vodka bullshit, playing Starcraft, dodging fans, and shooting up schools.

Like Neutral Korea's music which comes in two forms jrock and other jrock, there are two types of Korean music kpop and krap. Coincidentally or not, one of the music styles is a bastardized spelling of what it actually sounds like.

All the men are drunks and all the women are scared of you and want to marry you.

Culturally, Koreans, both Good and Evildoers, have a special ability to take other people's fucked up ideas four thousand steps too far. Look at what they did with Confucianism, what the Evildoer Koreans are doing with socialism, or at how fucked up the Good Korean Christians are; missionary work in Afghanistan, who came up with that idea? And who can forget their national sport where they strip mine planets for vespene gas so then can build millions of pylons then zerg rush each other into oblivion.

If you are planning a trip to Korea, why not try raping one of their women? As the Japanese Prime Minister knows, they are really asking for it.

[edit] Government

Good Korea is ruled by multinational corporations, and thus, several thousand 7-11s ~~to dispense Slurpees in the fruity flavors enjoyed by the local populace.~~ WRONG! The 7-11's in Good Korea are made of no Slurpee and fail! There are sufficient Starbuckses and McDonald'ses. They also have some local political leaders who aren't very interesting and speak a foreign language.

[edit] Economy

You can make a lotta lotta money in Good Korea. Make sure your mutual funds and IRAs include Good Korean companies. If you can't get a job where you are despite owning a suit, you can be a highly paid English-speaking monkey to entertain their small children. Many Good Koreans might be confused because white people (like Alan Alda and Jamie Farr) look good in movies and you don't. But don't worry! They will never fire you no matter how fat, gross, diseased, and lazy you are. And don't forget, although Raël may be banned in Korea, he still needs your 10 percent.

Internationally, Good Korea releases MMORPGs for free, which are usually very crappy for MMORPG standards. Kids will actually pay for extra, useless features on this shit, which will normally make their character look more like a fag or weeaboo. The profit Good Korea makes on this faggotry is uncertain, though it could be over 20% of their economy.

How to keep Koreans out of your store.

[edit] US Military in Good Korea

If you are serving in the military, please take advantage of the many prostitutes that populate the red light district. Remember, though: Koreans hate any and all United States soldiers, so avoid asking questions, unless you would like to contribute to the Korean national pastime (other than Starcraft): Blankly staring and giggling.

It is a known fact that a Korean cannot kill more than 33 people without killing him or herself.