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Spics
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Mexicans, otherwise known as spics and beaners, are a vast and terrible infection. This plague has infiltrated every aspect of America and soon will continue to destroy life in any and every form that we currently recognize.
This pestilence may be even greater and farther reaching than the bubonic plague was centuries ago. This simple fact has resulted in the beaner swarm's well known accolade: "The Brown Death".
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[edit] Physiology and Morphology
Spics' bodies are generally considered to be an abomination of the human form. They are short, stubby, useless hunks of flesh and bone which are wrapped in a disgusting shit-brown elastic substance.
The Spic genus shares many aspects with numerous other animals that somewhat resemble their evolutionary pathways. The earthworm for instance, is a simple creature which only has the objective to consume and breed. Spics are quite similar to this creature with the only difference being that while the earthworm may be useful for creating soil nutrients, beaners are useful for nothing.
[edit] Origins
Spics' ancestors include horny Spanish conquistadors, various and sundry animals, and a legion of extremely primitive spider/monkey humanoids who ran nude in the jungles of south and central america, spending their time raping one another and building huge temples in which to sodomize and mutilate virgins. The conquistadors, after months of fucking only each other, immediately raped as many of the indigenous inhabitants as possible upon their arrival. This interbreeding gave the humanoids slightly elevated intelligence, and made them perfect for slavery.
In return for their hard labor, gold, and whores, the Spanish gave unto them many plagues. Which of course is irony being that their descendants would very much become a plague. Spaniards ever afterward would gather in large drunken groups and sail to the new world for the purpose of getting teh buttsecks. Unfortunately, each introduction of European blood made the spics just a little smarter. Eventually, they began to pwn the Spanish, and won some major lulz by feeding the Elder Spics their own testicles.
Some people believe that spics were created over 9000 years ago by a retarded white man mating with a cockroach. Historians are beginning to consider this to be truth since how the beaners share so many characteristics with the said insect family.
[edit] Infestation
The latest mutagen of the Spic species, known as both the "Border Jumper" and the more fitting "Illegal Alien", has finally consumed all the available produce and nutrients in its once-lush jungle homeland of Mexico. This event has pushed the insidious plague further north into the peopled lands of the USA and Canada.
Like smallpox and AIDS before it, the Spics have already begun devastating large numbers of Human controlled cities, turning the once decent and white neighborhoods into desolate wastelands. Unlike AIDS, however, there is no current evidence that black people are the cause of the infection.
[edit] Spics Today
Today, spics carry on a proud tradition of being slaves to their white masters. This has been a most fortunate thing for business, which has suffered since Abe "Hitler" Lincoln said people couldn't own niggers anymore. Most of them make tolerable cooks, landscapers, or basic manual laborers. W, in yet another fail move of his insane presidential strategy started to call attention to the over 9000 spics crawling across the border like army ants. This angered many of his rich white buddies, whose labor forces consist almost entirely of spics. Had the president left everything alone, the cycle of life would have remained in balance, since spics tend to die in huge numbers when working around heavy machinery, due to a penchant for drugs and alcohol. ElBalboa is a spic ->[1]
[edit] See Also
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico? A: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin in the whole country.
