Starblade

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit User_Talk:Starblade.

Rare IRL picture of Starblade. Isn't he totally murrypurry?

Starblade is a 21 year old American male LJ user who believes that HE is a female dragon. He suffers from Asperger's Syndrome and is a schizophrenic, having no ability to differentiate between reality and fiction. He is also a voraphile, pregnophile, otherkin, furry, and plushie lover, and draws terrible fan art which he posts on Elfwood. Like many insane gay furries, Starblade is also an Objectivist. And he's into defiling video games by placing them in his ~~anus~~ username.

Choice Starblade quotes

“	Fuck you, I'm a dragon	„
—Starblade Riven Darksquall

“	Who knows, I may be known as the bisexual "Che", and inspire the next generation of politically aware and ethical rebels. ^^	„
—Starblade on his legacy

“	IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF WHEN A PREDATORY FUR TURNS PREY AND THEN EVERYBODY'S EATING THEM! WHAT THE FUCK, WORLD? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WANTED TO BE EATEN! FUCK THIS SHIT! [..] Maybe I didn't make this clear enough to you, world, that I was the prey. NOT HIM! ME! And you know WHY????? I was the only one who could take digestion like the dragon I was. [..] Being in a stomach is like being held all over your body.	„
—Starblade, in a 100% serious meltdown

“	Because I've DONE what I could to be tasty.	„
—Starblade

“	I. Fucking. Hate. The. World. I want to kill myself, not because the world's too good for me, but because I'm too good for the world.	„
—Starblade

“	You don't understand how deeply metaphorical I am.	„
—Starblade

“	I've decided to make the attempt at leaving for good coincide with my going into rehab for the stalker thing.	„
—Starblade, lying

“	I think I can do with going to prison. It's a sort of middle option between rehabilitation and suicide.	„
—Starblade considering his options

source

The Beginning

Originally from a voraphile chat, Starblade soon spread like a pandemic disease to a MUD called Alfandria, where he indulged his many fetishes and garnered at least 100 eBoyfriends, all of which he promptly lost in a matter of months because he refused to stop obsessing over Palshife. His manipulative behavior and constant whining about Palshife earned him a public stoning, whereupon he fled on the waaambulance from Alfandria with his astral tail tucked between his legs.

Starblade became affiliated with the online (IRC, Forums etc) Draconic community in the first half of 2002, who attempted to gain a foothold in the IRC created project known as Dracogenesis, which contained a collection of computer programmers, who wanted to create a retrovirus that was designed to turn them all into dragons. His only contribution to either the project itself or the Draconic community has appeared to be nothing more than foolish, depressing role-play that ended in unnecessary drama, and his departure from that community.

The Journal Years

With a face like that, you'd rely on surprise sex too.

“	You're just pissed because I totally dissed on you for being a total dragonslut, Palshifter.	„
—Starblade Riven Darksquall

Months later he showed up on LiveJournal where he spent most of his time writing TL;DR posts about shit nobody cares about and Palshife.

Starblade first came to the attention of many LJ users when he made several posts in debate on the topic of furryism and being a dragon. It is from these posting that the acronym "FYIAD" was born.

When Aspies Go Missing

After making a series of mysterious and cryptic posts in May of 2004, he disappeared. Many speculated as to what happened to Starbles. Some believed he was arrested, others believed he was committed for his dragon fantasies and his obsessive eStalking of Palshife, while still others believed he was dead. It was agreed upon, however, that he could not have possibly have left the Internets of his own volition.

It was discovered that he paid someone who he thought was Palshife to come from Ohio to have anal sex with him; it turned out to be another pregnovorazoophile friend of his. His promise to "leave the Internet" was enforced by a cruel dominatrix master.

Mysterious Reappearance

A few months later, Starbles re-appeared as ZeroYellowYoshi, and later still as Starbles. This can be expected to change on a monthly basis as people ferret him out. Currently he has a friends only journal, but occasionally makes public postings. None of them are very interesting and still contain his unique stream of consciousness style of writing.

Screen-capped Crazy

Starblade admits to stalking and 'destroying' Palshife.	Going on strike against the internet for not appreciating his hot dragon bod.	"I want to kill myself, not because the world's too good for me, but because I'm too good for the world."	An Hero threat #125: Becoming a Water Dragon in San Francisco Bay.
An Hero #432: death by drinking.	Starbles' attempt to become An Hero is thwarted.