Stephen Hawking

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Not even Internet Disease can help this

They see me rollin'...they hatin'...

This article is crap. You can help by completely re-writing it.

Stephen Hawking is the world's most famous bionic cripple scientist. He is a theoretical physicist and ~~Computer Science III~~ Computer Science XVII graduate with an unfortunate disorder that makes him talk like an old Mac. He's a lot like a modern-day Galileo, if you happened to leave Galileo in the microwave too long. Coincidentally, Hawking was born exactly 300 years after the death of Galileo. The comparisons end there however, as Galileo was able to brush his own teeth.

1 God hates Stephen...
2 ...so does his wife.
3 Really sick?
4 Hawking Sex Tape
5 Contributions
6 See also

[edit] God hates Stephen...

Professor Hawking contracted motor neurone disease after a disasterous attempt to divide by zero using a Speak & Spell machine. Some say that he actually succeeded and that all the secrets of the universe were suddenly revealed to Hawking in a blinding light. Stephen's body could no longer cope with the hordes of secrets and information, choosing to shut itself down in order to save energy for his precious brain.

[edit] ...so does his wife.

Sometime last thursday, the windowlicking genius was taken to hospital with unexplained injuries, including a broken wrist, gashes to the face and a cut lip (meth addict?). His nurse claimed that it was the doing of his second wife. In any case this proves 2 things:

that the boy knows how to party
that if Professor Stephen Hawking can get pussy (at least twice), then so can YOU!

[edit] Really sick?

It has been speculated that Professor Hawking is actually just lazy and enjoys having his arse wiped by nurses. He is the smartest guy in the world after all, who can blame him?