Threatening suicide
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Threatening Suicide is the best drama generating tactic ever thought of. Used namely by comment whores, attention whores, 16-year-old girls who don't get what they want, as well as others; these "attempts" are often followed with floods of comments from close friends, with an underlying tone of concern and worry. Most people fall for this tactic, hook line and sinker, by believing that the person in question would actually follow through with their threats. In the real world, we know this will simply not occur, as there would be far too much attention for said whore to miss out on.
How to threaten suicide
- Start a blog/journal entry/mass message/bulletin/etc saying how sorry you are for ruining things, then add in "and don't reply to this, it's pointless".
- Wait 15 minutes
- Post another message stating that "The world would be better off without me, all I do is cause problems and add a burden to everyone I meet, so I'm going to go kill myself."
- Bonus points: Single out friends and make excuses on why they should be happy you're dead.
- ???????
- Don't do it, faggot!
I mean, let's be honest here: generally it is not a good idea. If you threaten suicide, it will almost certainly just disappoint people. This is not because they care about you, but because even if you do get past the threat and make an actual attempt, you will probably botch it all up by using some boring, totally predictable method. Then, even if you were to succeed, your death would doubtlessly be unnoticeable and unoriginal. In fact, you should just give up now and continue living your pathetic life of quiet desperation, unless you know you can keep up with these bad boys and an hero like a champ. We have standards here.
Further, if you do follow through, you won't get to bask in the most abundant source of attention you can bring to yourself, surpassing even coming out of the closet. However, be warned, often times the threat will backfire and you will lose friends you once held dear; which may lead you to the second half of this discussion...
See Also
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Threatening suicide is part of a series on An Hero. |
