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Suirenoki

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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I know guys, a girl AND a gamer, try to keep your pants buttoned, please

"OMFG, A GAMER GIRL! It's a girl that plays VIDEO GAMES! SHE HAS A VAGINA! And she draws comics too!? I JUST CAME!" If you have a room temperature IQ, that will no doubt be your response when you come across Suirenoki's deviatart page. You'll befriend her, offer insightful comments on her artwork such as "Yay!!1!!11!!!1!" and "I lurve it... Your so good! ^_^." You might even PAY for some of her "Artwork." What the fuck is wrong with you? The internets hasn't seen so much generic weeaboo shit since last Thursday. Somewhere in her beautiful mind, she has decided that (Anime + Feminism)^Video Games = Great Success. Of course, she did not get the fax informing her that having tits and a vag does not make a great webcomic. By leaving the Kitchen, she has created and spread an Epidemic that worsens every time this bitch opens up MS Paint.

1 Lessons in Distraction
2 Gamer Chicks
3 Is she really a gamer?
4 Her Style
5 Whores Love the Yaoi
6 Her Poetry
7 Gallery of Cocks
8 Hate Art
9 AIDS-Infested Sites

[edit] Lessons in Distraction

Self insert? What would give you that idea?

Suirenoki's dream guy

Lessons in Distraction is Suiren Oki's wish fulfillment web comic where the main character is an overweight student with red hair who gets picked on by all the popular, healthy girls at school for having out of style hair. If you haven't realized yet that the main character Shyuran Ain Isolde Godzillah is a self insert of the author by now, it's amazing that you had the mental capacity to finish reading this sentence. Constantly being mobbed by the popular cheese blocks at her school, which apparently has absolutely no faculty protecting the students, allows her to be saved by Jin Inoue, a Japanese exchange student who looks sort of like Sephiroth. This high school drama might sound startling familiar to readers of really really really bad fiction. PLOT TWIST! Both Suirenoki-insert and Jin have little wings on their backs for some reason-- THEY HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!

The cheese picks on Suirenoki	Jin comes to the rescue	Suirenoki and Jin show each other their special parts	what the fuck is a Senmurv?
Revenge of the Cheese	Jin <3 fat chicks

[edit] Gamer Chicks

This slut keeps stealing all of Suirenoki's men!

Thank god you have tits, otherwise we'd have to look at your ugly pizza face.

GAMER CHICKS is a terrible combination of bad art, bad jokes, and PMS. Since most internet forums focusing on video games are total sausage fests, Surienoki figured tons of attention would be lavished on her for simply being a girl, when in fact nobody could care any less about her 200-something lbs physique and attention whoring. This comic is so bad, Oki doesn't even seem to understand how dialog bubbles should go left to right, top to bottom-- and she's twenty fucking years old. Proceed with caution when reading this abomination. Like all webcomic artists, their drawn persona's are vastly more attractive than their IRL counterparts (although not by much in this case considering what a piece of shit Gamer Chicks is).

IRL

She's 20
Permanently caught in a state of Puberty
Dyed Hair, Glasses, Angle Shot, Fail.
Is fucking huge
Buys Gaia Credit cards from Target
Poetry? Really?

Online

Red Hair, tall, HUEG TITS ZOMG
Witty (When she pits herself against mentally inept faggots.)
Has friends
HOLY FUCK WHY WOULD YOU WEAR A CAT EAR HAT WITH WINGS ON IT JESUS

[edit] Is she really a gamer?

The great thing about video games isn't playing them! It's telling guys that I did.

Speculation is that Suirenoki was once a gamer, but hasn't seen a new console since the Xbox, since it rivals her in its HUEGNESS.

Some technical misinformation can be seen in Gamer Chicks however, showing that Suirenoki does not know what it is to be both a chick and a gamer and only guesses what games are about after masturbating to pictures of Alucard (from Castlevania--or ASSHOLEVania, am i rite?).

Some note-worthy retardation in her comics:

There is no game called "Bice City."
You cannot play a PS2 game while the disk tray is still ejected.
Alucard (Or Arucard if you're a cunt) wasn't gay, fuck you.
Controllers that plug into a TV directly are not Hardcore. Get fucked.
The PS2 AV and Power Cord were never White. Never.
The reason you like your PS2 better than your PC is because you lack a MOUSE and a System to plug into the monitor. That, or you're using a Mac. Whatever.
Gamespoo does not sell hueg bricks of Cheese.
Gamespoo isn't even a fucking store! STFU NOOB!
Super Badass Dungeon isn't a game either, go choke on a knife.
Theres a cord connecting the Wiimote to the Nunchuck. Fucking durr.
Not every console has WHITE controllers.
RE4 contained no Zombies. Not one. NEVER.
The Wiimote doesn't have a round D-pad. Its 4 directions, not 8, and it's not yellow like Alucards j-dick.
No Zelda game EVER contained a Level what was composed of 1 pot, a black line, and a chest with a musical instrument inside.

So, is she a gamer? No, but who the fuck cares.

[edit] Her Style

HOW DO I FAILED AT BASIC ANATOMY!?

B^U is funny to me now. Thanks Suirenoki!

If one were to cram a pencil into their asshole and smear it on a piece of paper, that would be Suirenoki's style.

To learn how to draw in Suirenoki's style, follow these outlines as written by the artist herself and you'll be fast on the road to VICTORY!!!!!

Always Yaoi
Eyes go on hair
Human beings are flat
Backgrounds are unnecessary
^ ^ = An acceptable substitute for eyes (Don't forget to put on top of hair.)
Gravity is a lie
Needs moar boobs
Also fat

[edit] Whores Love the Yaoi

Suirenoki, like every other girl on the internet, loves gay cock. Her "gallery" is filled to the brim with Soft core buttsecks, almost all of it involves Castlevania, a game about gay vampires sucking each others cocks... For blood.

Disagree with her stance on man-love? WATCH OUT! Suirenoki has been known to piss and moan for several tl;dr posts while spewing deadly half-eaten dorito shards at her enemies. Eventually, a Mod will intervene and pretend to do their job by banning someone so the bitch will shut the fuck up. Afterwards, Suirenoki is known to vomit. What? Besides, her affection for yaoi is perfectly fine, after all, every man on earth is guilty of fapping to Tifa, which makes all anti-yaoi arguments invalid.

[edit] Her Poetry

She's finally going to shave her pubic hair.

Our beautiful Suirenoki is also an established fan-fiction/poem writer. YOU CAN TASTE THE RAGE COMING OFF THE ITALICS GOD DAMN! Below is a sample of some of her finest works:

I have Demons... in my heart ;_;

[edit] Gallery of Cocks

Behold Suirenoki, the next Leonardo DeVinci:

Cheese? No, it's people, I SWEAR.	Bitch, fuck your wings.	I LOVE MS PAINT!!!!!1	Suirenoki, preparing her next meal.
Where the hell are these people shopping for clothes???	The black line in the background is actually Ganon in disguise!	There are exactly 666 Zombies in RE4. Exactly.