Synthetic slut

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Carly, aka Synthetic Slut.

Carly Ryan was a useless 15-year-old Goth, Myspace and Vampirefreaks.com attention whore who was recently found floating in Horseshoe Bay in Port Elliot, Southern Australia. Her death caused the clichéd and typical media response; they were ultra quick to blame the internet, MySpace and internet culture as the culprits of Carly's obvious stupidity. Police are yet to officially convict anybody of her death, despite public calls for a mass fucking parade for his / her charitable work for a better society.

[edit] Emo Found On Beach... ?

According to MyDeathSpace, this is her possible killer. Seriously???

Being from Adelaide (see also middle of fucking nowhere), she was likely to do anything to get famous. And that's what she did... like every other 15 year old girl that evar appeared on Australian/American Idol, it is pretty much accepted that she knew that this was the only way a useless emo would get on one of Australia's million current-affairs shows, that's glowing on the screens of millions of retarded, inbred convicts.

Suspecting murder, police spent two days scouring the bay for evidence, finding a necklace, ring and signs of a disturbance in the sand; but no murderer. So, they gave that up and went for a can of Fosters and looked for clues on her MySpace page. Somehow they managed to pull together the internet skills of a 13 year old girl and discovered one sick fuck formerly on Carly's MySpace friends list called 'Brandon'. Coincidentally, Brandon had deleted his MySpace account and all his love messages and comments on Carly's MySpace around the same time she was found dead. On his former MySpace account, Brandon described himself as:

“	I am more a baggy jeans and t-shirt person, and am more comfortable at a live band venue than a nightclub/disco. I was in the military for a number of years and left there as a commando... I am divorced, and have custody of a beautiful and loving 18-year-old son. I could say I have already met the one person I consider the one true love of my life, she is gone, some time ago, but that is another story. I need to sort my life out a bit first... I do go for women somewhat younger than me usually..	„
— Brandon, on his former MySpace profile.

Police arrested and charged 48-year-old Brandon, from Melbourne and an anonymous youth, 17 (who is thought to be his son). The pair have not yet been formally charged with her murder.

Since her lulzy death, other Myspace attention whores have left comments on her page pretending to know the emo bitch. In reality, she was a recluse antisocial fucktard who would rather click the refresh button on her Myspace all day, than waste her life in other, more useful ways (such as cutting herself).

This video says it all.