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Tajikistan

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The national flag is crested with a volleyball in a circle of flames. This represents the national sport of Napalm Volleyball.
The national flag is crested with a volleyball in a circle of flames. This represents the national sport of Napalm Volleyball.

[edit] Tajikistan is Groovy

Tajikistan is a great place. With a 100% infant mortality rate, an oppressive system that keeps women in line and an Orwellian dictatorship, Tajikistan is a rockin' place. Anyday in Tajikistan is a good day, you can find donkey face tajik whore to insert your sickfuck furry bitch fetish delights in.

Exports include tears, goatse, tiny baby caskets, and whores. Unfortunately Tajikistani whores have vaginas with a circumference of at least 100 inches, giving pleasure to no man.

Imports of Tajikistan are tourists, blood, bear traps (explained below), and decorative garden gnomes.

[edit] The People

Tajikistani people are very happy, because they have to be, as their government has decided it's easier to torture anyone who complains.

Tajikistan excels at torture, using disproportionate force to punish crimes from jaywalking to abortion. That's right, abortion is illegal in Tajikistan.

Many of the torture methods involve the stretching and wrecking of the anus, resulting in an abundance of goatse.

In 1879, Tajikistan began exporting goatse to one of the only two markets available, Japan. It wasn't until eleven years later that Tajikistan broadened their goatse exports to include sick fucks.

Bears commonly roam throughout Russia and its surrounding countries as addressed by comedian Eugene Mirman. Tajikistan is no exception, and is commonly plundered by roves of cowboy hat wearing bear bandits.

Lacking the actual facilities to manufacture their own bear traps, 78% of Tajikistan's annual income is spent importing bear traps.

[edit] Geography

Tajikistan has many things that are super interesting including rivers and mountains. Unfortunately, these things seriously lack lulz.

The whole weeping country needs a lulz enema.

Can we send an ediot over there to make teh dramaz?


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