Talk:Ann Coulter

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

I'd still tap it. --Quasidan the Jew

more like mann coulter lol

[edit] How to have sex with Ann Coulter - If you Must

It must be pointed out that know one really knows if Ann Coulter (AC) has ever had sex or not. It is very likley she is asexual but fridgid, thus self gratification is out and can she procreate? - well she must as a Chritian (or what ever she is) even if she was a man. Must be a closet stem cell supported.

So the following

1. Meet AC - she will be with her Entourage and feel very self important but not unimproachable - ware your Reagan, All various Bush pins, a big ass american flag lapel pine, a rush limbaugh save our money ribbon, and any other right wing prop you feel is appropriate. If you are truly un-attractive a white pointed hood it okay as she find this a turn on (again unkown she gets turned on in a sexual way - so a KKK reference might only fire a few feeble synapses off.

2. Okay ou have your uniform on so it is time for the strike. Start ranting about how much you love Rumsfeld, Cheney, Lay, Rove, Rice ..... Just name the right wing, those that hate jews, blacks, immigrants of all types, puppies, cats, and the grand Manatee of Florida - tell her you once wrestled one bare hand and ate it.

3. Global wamring is a left wing hoax, talk dirty in her ear about rising waters, hotter days, put in an inuendo on your loins, the heat is growing.. be imaginative but not too unobvious - she is an idiot after all.

4. Now that you have her juices (well chemically no one knows what is being produced by her body) flowing (make sure you have brought 10W40 or a greater viscosity oil to help the process - normal items from "that unmentionalable section of the drug store" will have no affect.

5. It is time. You must take her to a room with a very hard mattress that has no give what so ever. Stroke her thighs, look at her breasts but dont touch - they are IED's.

6. Time for brass tax (lowered tax for her and her peers). If at this point you were able to achieve the phyical ability to consimate this please try the missionary positon as best you can, it may require a crowbar or even some sort of pnuematic tool to get the male member into its place - still no luck - take 40 of each - viagra, levitra, cialis - you will get credit for suport of big pharma.

7. Once in you will have 22 seconds, you are wearing a condom, very sharp and grating objects ensue. Do not under any circumstance release any of your bodily fluids no matter how contained. You will be summarily shot.

8. Once over run to the bath room and regurgatate for the next hour, perhaps two. You will be dry heaving at some point but it will pass.

9. Go to her, lovingly and say the lourds prayer and concur that Jews will forfit the rapture

10. And finally dont tell anyone

• I'm doing to move this to the article. --Quasidan 22:05, 13 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] POV

Isn't this article slightly biased? There are people in existence who think she speaks nothing but unadulterated truth. Avatar 05:21, 25 October 2007 (CDT)

• ED isn't supposed to present facts in a non-biased manner. All that matters is that it isn't total BS and is lulzy, amirite?. Kenderbard 03:54, 6 April 2008 (CDT)
• Actually, I think this article is pretty accurate. Did you ever stop to think that SHE's slightly biased? Insertpunhere 01:38, 5 June 2008 (CDT)