Talk:Legend of Zelda
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
The luzy aftermath of a recent raid
Ebaums went after the Zeld Universe forums.
--Krisnack 20:06, 28 July 2007 (CDT)
Delicious Trollan Zelda Fans Copy/Pasta
I recently came across a copy/pasta claiming that Shadow of the Colossus is nothing more than an artsy ripoff of Legend of Zelda; and I decided to fight copy/pasta with more copy/pasta.
First off, claiming that large fields of land is (c) Nintendo is just utterly retarded. Using that logic Oblivion and World of Warcraft are also Zelda ripoffs. Shockingly, the Nintendrone agreed on this point, that Oblivion and Warcraft are both Zelda ripoffs. So let's take this logic a little further. Did LoZ use the large field of land first? No. The Epic of Gilgamesh is most likely the first time a large field of land was used within a fictional story. If anything, LoZ is ripping off the Sumerian Bible. Even then, the Divine Comedy by Dane Alighieri, The Lord of the Rings by Tolkien, and countless other stories all came before Zelda's use of a large field within a story.
How about we look at similarities between Link and Wanda: (1) they have a sword, (2) ...they're both male (3) ... that's about it. Link is a silent protagonist, Wanda isn't. Link uses a bunch of James Bond gadgets to get through his adventures, Wanda doesn't (granted, you can get shit like parachutes and stuff later in the game which are meant solely for fun and aren't necessary to beating the game). Wanda has enough brain power to climb a tree and pick fruit; Link has to roll around on the grass as slam his head into the tree to get nutty nourishment. Honestly, these character's aren't the same. Comparing Link and Wanda are like comparing Motoko from Ghost in the Shell to Yoko from Gurren Lagann: they're both girls, they both have guns, they both appear in the same kind of medium, similarities end there. You'd have to be a fucking retard to claim one girl is a ripoff of the other. But that's the kind of thought process that goes on in the minds of Nintendo fanatics.
Shadow of the Colossus has no plot! It's boooooring! Where's the story?!! Here is is: Wanda brings catatonic/dead girl into forbidden kingdom, communicates with large ray of light who tells him to kill sixteen colossi. What's that you say? That plot is extremely lacking and ambitious? How about this plot? Reincarnation of Link must rescue reincarnation of Zelda because they're reincarnations. There's your plot for every Zelda game, ever. Link does what he does just because he's fucking Link. So what? That's hardly a story at all; that's not even a fucking character. Nintendo decided to rehash the same plot over and over with this reincarnation bullshit instead of hiring any writers. Basically, they reuse the same story in every video game; whereas Team Ico (the developers of SotC) have created two video games (Ico being the other) and still aren't finished telling the whole story. If you ask me, SotC gets points for being the better story teller here.
Boss fights. Every boss in Shadow of the Colossus is the same, amirite? Well, fuck, I'm really sorry for you if you feel that way. It's true, every boss fight is climb, stab, stab, stab, climb, stab, stab, stab. But the way you get onto the boss is different. Maybe you need to shoot it with arrows first so it comes down at you? Maybe you need to hide somewhere so that it crouches down in search for you? Maybe you need to let is slam its fist down at you? Every boss is different in the way it moves, the way you get on it, it's weaknesses, blah blah blah, I could go on forever. Tl;dr: every boss is a puzzle onto itself. Now let's look at LoZ bosses. You go through a temple, grab the deus ex machina device from the toy chest, unlock the door to the boss. Boss shows up, FUCKING WAVES ITS ODDLY COLORED WEAK SPOT RIGHT IN YOUR FACE, and then engages you in long range attacks that you have to dodge, and you somehow use your weapon of the temple to defeat it. Voila. All the bosses of both games follow a simple pattern. The bosses in SotC simply don't bend over and show you their weak spot, or give you a convenient device that you must use in order to defeat it. It leaves you to figuring it out on your own.
Here's a quick point: the music. Music from the Legend of Zelda is more iconic than that of SotC (probably because it's the same five/six themes over and over again for each game), but SotC is just better. Before you start spouting: CLAIMING SOME MUSIC IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER IS STRICTLY A MATTER OF OPINION! Let me tell you why, SotC: orchestra; LoZ: MIDI. That's more or less my reasoning why. Even the most recent game, Twilight Princess, still used fucking MIDI for all its music. Nostalgia purposes? No, give me a fucking break. Just as they rehash the same plot, they reuse the same music from Ocarina of Time. At least I can listen to SotC music without picturing some guy sitting at a synthesizer mimicking a real orchestra.
Here's the killing blow to all the faggots that didn't like SotC. Maybe you picked up the game, defeated the first three or four bosses, figured it wasn't worth your time and then put it away? If that's the case, then the entire point of the game went over your head. No, I'm not saying the story was too deep for you to understand; I'm saying that you're too much of a fanboy to give SotC a chance. I bet I can tell why you quit playing it. In the middle of one of those long treks to the next Colossus, your horse kept finding a cliff or a mountain and you had nowhere to go, figured it was taking too long, nothing interesting was happening or going to happen, turned off the game, right? Here's why you're an idiot: you played the game and wouldn't stop comparing it to Zelda, pulling convoluted "similarities" out of your ass, thinking "if this were Zelda I'd be shooting Poe's with my arrow and fighting off little inconvenient monsters along the way." You want to know what you were supposed to be doing while journeying to the next colossus? ASSUMING THE FUCKING ROLE OF WANDA, YOU DOLT! They have these long stretches of riding because they want you to FUCKING THINK about why Wanda is doing this; is it really worth it? What are the consequences? In an RPG, when your character says nothing but dashes of ellipses, that's like saying "insert your opinion here." Similarly, while Wanda is all alone out there on his long trek, you're supposed to be thinking about Wanda's motives, his emotions, et cetera, but you were too busy thinking about butt-fucking Midna and wanting to collect x amount of items that the whole thing went over your head. If you were busy shooting at Poes and zombies, or man-eating plants or whatever, it would break your train of thought. Rather than weighing the character's sense of judgment, wondering what the next colossus would be, you'd be busy locking onto targets and waggling your controller, shouting "STAB! THRUST! SPIN! SPIN DAMMIT! I'M SHAKING THE CONTROLLER, WHY AREN'T YOU SPINNING?!"
Go ahead. Call Shadow of the Colossus a pretentious ripoff of the Legend of Zelda, enjoy having your emotionless reincarnation of a reincarnation going on fetch quests and collecting the same gadgets you already collected in the previous game to defeat boss battles designed with 8-year-old players in mind. I don't know what Team Ico is up to for their third game, if it's going to feature a tragic ending like the previous two games, where people who actually loved each other were torn apart during their adventure, but I can tell you this much about the next Zelda game: a reincarnation of Link is going to save the reincarnation of Zelda because it's his duty as a reincarnation to save her; they're going to defeat the bad guy (Gannon) and live happily ever after, just like every previous Zelda game, and the Nintendo Fanatics are going to lap it up like they always do while shunning anything made by not-Nintendo.LoliHAETpizza 13:05, 26 March 2008 (CDT)
Butthurt Timeline Fanboys
I was recently on a forum discussing Zelda (but doing it for fun and lulz and not taking it anywhere near as seriously as some of the "elite" timeline theorists; not that I'm not a faggot for it, but I'd like to think I'm not as much of a fag), and I sent them a link to this page. They probably noticed the timeline section of the page that I wrote (which was my intention), and I think that it is suspicious that the day after I post a link, a new user called "AuroraTwilight" or wtf/e it is decided to deletes fucking everything in the timeline section. Good thing someone reverted the page back to normal. That new user may just have been a butthurt timeline theorist (probably one that I quoted) trying to stop people from knowing how things really work in their world. Odds are that since it has been reverted once, they will leave it alone, but I just thought I'd let you know in case they try to troll us.
-Vertiboy
I was a lurker of Encyclopedia Dramatica that decided to register after following the external links in your edit. From what it looked like, you were apparently being as "serious business" as they were, since you had to resort to personal, childish attacks and were making up shit about "Creator's Intent." Since 4chan isn't your Personal Army, I reverted your edits. I don't mind the "Zelda Timeline is Srs Business" thing, just so long as one of the elite timeline theorists is just using it as a means to get back at people who got him all butthurt. Also, according to the links, you're a father or something now? Don't you have better things to do?--AuraTwilight 13:16, 25 June 2008 (CDT) HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!!! HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I DON'T SUCK COCKS!!! WAIT, YES I DO!!!
- Oh wow, this shit is current? Anyway, AT is obviously a butthurt failtroll, judging by your well-honed talent of spouting memes. Protip: Don't use the word(s?) "4chan", don't capitalize memes (that just makes it more obvious you learned them through some shitty website rather than at the source), and ED is always ED- never Encyclopedia Dramatica. The front page is a lie. A true /b/tard would have simply posted, GTFO, and that is also the advice I give to you. In conclusion, fuck your timeline. ED only cares because of the potential lulz, and by coming here and BAWWWWWing, you're providing it. Ryuugaki 22:42, 25 June 2008 (CDT)
lawl -(Vertiboy 00:03, 26 June 2008 (CDT))
- I don't know if the LA boards would give up easily or not after a few reverts, so keep your eyes open for edits that could possibly be made by expert trolls.
EDIT: I think that it is possible that Nobody0 is from LA, or at least the Zelda community in general, because of some of the edits he/she made to the trolling section and the fact that he/she completely removed the section suggesting that the reader troll LA for the lulz and my sincere appology. I'm not sure, but just watch Nobody0 just in case.- (Vertiboy 16:30, 6 July 2008 (CDT))
- Regardless of Nobody0's motives, your fail apology was Talk page material at best, and I would have deleted it from the article if Nobody0 hadn't gotten to it first. --Infin8Monkeys 07:13, 7 July 2008 (CDT)
I would delete my appology section myself if enough people have a problem with it. I could care less about it. Looking back, I don't think it's that great. I do think that the Fanboy Trolls You section should stay, however, just to show that some timeline fag didn't want ED readers to get lulz from their serious business. -(Vertiboy 22:54, 7 July 2008 (CDT))
proposed picture
I think we should add a picture of will ferrell in elf with the caption "link". Another idea; go to this page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legend_of_zelda, and scroll down to story and characters. Omfg, see that picture, put that on here with the caption "yeah, he's not gay".
Anti-Timeline Fag Website
I am thinking about making an anti-timeline fag website where people can come to discuss Zelda without worrying about Zelda fanboys ruining the conversations. It would also have timeline fag-bashing material similar to this article. I'd be even more likely to make the site if ED shuts down because I think that regular Zelda fans such as myself should know that they aren't the only ones out there who simply want to discuss the series without all of the faggotry. Who likes and who hates this idea?
Srsly. Nine.
<disclaimer mode=dubious> really not a fan boy but... </disclaimer> in zelda 1 there were 2 triforce parts, wisdom and courage, ganon split the wisdom one into 8 bits, and took power off to death mountain for anal insertion fun. so its nine. or two. timeline nutters fucking love it. "noes yuor rong! the other one was link don't you get it? DONT YOU GET IT?!?! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGEE" SirEel 11:00, 16 September 2008 (CDT)
Twilight Princess = Epic Fail
There has never been a game that has gotten more undeserved praise and attention than this piece of shit. The graphics usually look worse than the Nintendo 64, the storyline is hackneyed and dull, and there's nothing interesting or fun in the entire game. Surely, more should be written about its fail in the article. KhagarBalugrak 20:27, 11 March 2009 (UTC)
Proposal: Massive Changes
To clean up a large portion of this article and to make it suck far less, I propose that in the "Characters" section, everything after each Roles in Zelda Games is just fucking deleted. It's long, boring, and blows ass. That would help cut down the tl;dr, at least. Some of the pictures need to go as well because they are unfunny. Starting edits. --Unarmed 14:39, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
Ugh... Cleaned up a major portion of page. I don't even want to touch that fucking timeline bullshit; I personally say delete anything that wasn't used for trolling or isn't funny. Might go over it later, but goddamn it's boring shit. --Unarmed 20:00, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
Had an idea for timeline bullshit. Why not stuff all that gay shit into it's own article centered around whatever board gives a rat's ass about it? I see that it generated some... I hesitate to say "lulz" simply because this timeline section is a pretty dry sack of crackers, but if it pissed someone off, then it should be saved. I realize I'm probably just talking to myself, but I'll just leave this here as an explanation for the any potential changes. --Unarmed 22:12, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
