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Talk:PLZ ADVZ
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Dear Hep: I am suffering from an affliction that I do not understand. I converted to Christianity, but I can't stop doing things for the lulz. Am I suffering from Internet Troll Personality Disorder, and if so, what can I do about it? --Blu Aardvark 12:03, 27 January 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Invite to Adminship
Dear Hep, I recently began trolling a forumz, and - because of my refined IRL trolling skills and leet coding experience - within a few hours, i was offered adminship if i stopped harrassing them. While this looks like promising lulz, i have the feeling i may be getting set up the bomb. Should I pretend to take the deal and agree with the terms (and thus provide ED a backdoor entrance to the ruin, or should i stick to my guns and be an incorruptible ruiner of teh internets?
yours,
Sunday's mail 06:40, 11 February 2007 (UTC)
[edit] I am unfunny
Dear Hep, I am suffering from a chronic bout of "Unfunny". Sure I struck lulz on the Pillow Angel article, but ever since I feel that I can only sit around and masturbate to Untitled.jpg. Is there any home remedy for unfunny, or am I doomed to a life of American Dad? --Unfunny in Utah
[edit] Uh-oh!
Dear Hep, I've been jacking off to that picture of you wearing the little bunny hood for six hours now, and my penis skin is starting to rip to the extent that my hands are now covered in blood. My question is, should the bride's family be responsible for organizing the baby shower, or should friends chip in, too? ChairmanMeow 00:02, 28 January 2007 (UTC)
[edit] PLZ ADVZ
Dear Dr. Yaga, As a sysop of a popular and lulzy wiki, it is my duty to maintain the order and keep n00bs in line. However, it feels like something is missing in my duties, as my fellow sysops have received far more hatred directed at them in a short time than I have had in my career on the wiki. Am I doing something wrong? How should I go about being more popular with the public? -- Not H8'd Enuff
[edit] Lurkin Foar Lulz In Awl Teh Rong Plæces
I rilly dunno...all teh things that used to made me Happycat befoar is dead to meow neow. String...teh furry snake...ball-eeez...sniffle tiems...Sly and the Family Stone songs...
...nathan. purry face. Whar is mah happy gone? Plx halp?
--Unhappy of Catatonia 11:33, 29 January 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Oh, the huge manatee!
Dear Hep,
I can't take anything seriously, since my exposure to the internet. When people get butthurt, I think only of the lulz, then their pain, then some more lulz. I'm not very concerned with this, but I really need those CD's you borrowed back, or I swear to god I'll kill someone.
-Homicide
[edit] How I Shot Web?
--From your friendly neighborhood RAPE_SPIDER. A RAPE SPIDER APPROACHES! 10:21, 30 January 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Accidental Dicksucking
Dear Hep, I have a friend who is constantly telling me about his problems with accidental dicksucking. It seems like everywhere he goes, he keeps ending up with massive engourged black dongs in his mouth through no fault of his own. Is there any solution you can recommend for my friend's problem?
[edit] Vigilantism
Dear Hep- I was orally, vaginally, and anally raped when I was 6 years old by a bad guy named Jason Fermosa. Although I liked it, I became very angry at men. When I grew up, I channeled this anger into policing the internets. I have recently gotten myself into some very deep shit. I was all doped up on pain meds, and thought it would be a good idea to post a video telling people to complain to Dreamhost and the FBI about the hater website Encyclopedia Dramatica. Well, let me tell you, that was about the worst fucking idea I've ever had in my life. It would have been better if I went to Compton and yelled "NIGGERS!!!!!!" as loud as I could. You see, I'm now getting totally trolled by all these people that I picked a fight with, and I'm not sure what to do. Please help.:(
Hugigglez-
[edit] The Question of the Jews
I am a local southern Illinosian, and I am concern. I have a attitude of make it more babyish, but I am a 28 year old man. My question is, what is the final solution to the Jewish question? Hitler may have killed six million Jews, but there are still approximately 12.9 million hook-nosed fiends left in the world. What should we do about the Jewish problem? lol kikes --Blargh 05:47, 6 February 2007 (UTC)
[edit] I don't know what to do.
I just stole somebodies notebook from Trader Joe's, but there was nothing good in it. I was hoping to get some money and buy some crack, but all it had was some abbreviated writings. After closer inspection, it turned out to actually be someone's schedule planner for the entire year! So my question to you is: should I stalk and mug this person, or just rape them? --Euphoric
[edit] I Is Are Ghost
Dr Hep...I still can't find my iPod and can't follow that chick with the big-ass titties from Ghost Whisperer towards the light until I do. PLZ ADVZ ~An Hero 12:00blink12:00blink12:00blink (UTC)
[edit] yo yo chekit
I be lovin 2 rapes me sum wite womenz. I thinc da FBI iz on 2 me. wat shud i do? - Malomeat 23:22, 8 February 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Bel-air
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said "you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I pleaded with her, but she would not listen, so she gave me a ticket and I guess I'd might as well kick it, but I'm worried I won't be able to get a cab when I get there. PLZ ADVZ. Shortcat 00:58, 9 February 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Love?!
Dear hep, I've found myself in love with some fat slut on the internet. Problem is, she doesn't <3 me back! What should I do? Forget her and go jerk off like I do every night, or try to get her to fall in love with me? plz advise, thx. --Jmax 04:51, 9 February 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Where are the lulz?
Dr. Hep, I feel as if my whole life I've been out of step with people. Sometimes people rofl at shit I say and I don't understand why, and sometimes they tell me to STFU when I think something is lollercaust. It's not that if don't have a sense of humor, I just don't know what that means. How do I learn what is teh funny and when to quit trying?
[edit] Is I Teh Gheyz0r?
Dear Hep:
Does fapping to FBB's that look like this make me teh ghey? Especially since I know that with all the steroids, her clit is prolly bigger than my cock.
[edit] Yiff!
Dear HepaYaga I was building my fur suit naked just now and I got glue in my urethra - it hurts like hell! do you think I should go to a doctor or try to fap it out? Thanks, Argent007
[edit] halp!
dear hep, i feel that i am no longer l33t, i am short of cash, short of ccs, my inner emo is raging like never before, i have impulsive GTFOs and feel the need to shoop my whoop. what are all these impluses? am i slowly becoming a chantard? who shall i side with? bantown, 7ch, 4ch? i just cannot decide. what is with my sudden urges? PLZ ADVZ. - loev slashy.
[edit] irl troll
dear hep,
i have strong tendencies, desires, etc. to troll irl quite often and have done so many times in the past but due to my laziness and the fact that i act alone usually i have no record of what i have done. also, i abhor blogging with any kind of seriousness, so the exposure of my deeds to the nets are nonexistent. how do i make my efforts known and therefore made to bring lulz to the lulzless? RMD 08:01, 12 February 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Dead Moms
Dear hep -
While there are many fitting possibilities, what is the very best response for when you say "Your mom" and he says, "My mom's dead, asshole."? --JiZZy 05:24, 14 February 2007 (UTC)
- "lol, mine's not" usaually covers it for me. Sunday's mail 17:32, 28 February 2007 (UTC)
- This is how I loll: "I wish mine was!"
--
Rt. Hon. Judge Pele Q. Mudkips Esq. 02:27, 1 March 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Old Timer Disorder
I ride on the success of my previous trolls that were so lulz they cannot be fucked with, and haven't done anything on my own for at least a year. I find myself just hanging out on IRC like a loser, using the same old text floods and asciis and offering suggestions to fine-tune other newer trolls. What should I do? --JiZZy 05:24, 14 February 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Identity theft
Dear hep,
After googling my screen name out of sheer boredom, I found out one of the members of a forum I frequent had stolen it to use it as his own. How do I milk this for maximum lulz?
-- Anxious in Boston
[edit] Lurker Turned Troll
Dear Hep
I've been a lurker for at least a 100 years, but I've been wanting to step out and be a small-time troll. Do you have any advice for a new troll like me? What trolling techniques should I use that utilizes my strengths at LURKing MOAR?
Lurking for Lulz
--Kirby 07:39, 25 February 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Help Me
Dearest Hep,
Since recently becoming a contributer at a popular (though in some quarters much derided) wiki-site, I have encountered a number of problems. Firstly, I have found myself gazing whistfully at the myspace / livejournal / flickr accounts of a number of the female sysops. I know this somehow makes me gay, but I am unsure exactly how this homosexuality will now manifest.
Secondly, I have noticed that at the top of some of the sysops's talk / user pages there appears a picture of my younger sister, who is refered to as "Cracky". Whilst some might say that this is simply very surprising. I however find it very distressing, the reason being that she committed suicide fairly recently after being hounded by people who are apparently known as "trolls" on the internet. On top of all this, I should mention that I have had a particlularly Bad Day, as I have misplaced my iPod. I really do want to be an Hero. PLZ ADVZ
Mitchell - March 3 2007 - In the Morning.
[edit] My friends are BRB Jail
Dear Hep, Lately I've been feeling really depressed. One of my friends died. He was kind of slow, and lazy, but he was still my friend. Then my closest friend has been arrsted for admiring photos of child models. I live in my parents basement, and I haven't gone outside since the fourth grade. It wasn't until just this morning that I found out my parents moved out of the house without even telling me. I'm now alone. Then I let this guy into my parent's house, his name was Bucky or something. I thought I made a new friend, but he left, just like the others, only he stole the entire second floor of my house and all of my money. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, where can I buy a better graphics card for my computer?
[edit] Archive of past ADVZNZ
PLZ ADVZ/Archive
