Tara Gilesbie
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Tara Gilesbie (also “Tata Gliesbie” or “Tara Gilespie”) is a huge moron who supposedly lives in Dubai, the United Arab Emirates, and evidently travels to the United States every day to shop at Hot Topic. Tara is a “goff” and wrote two God-awful Harry Potter fanfics on Fanfiction.net, them being My Immortal and the recent "sekwel", My Immortal 2: Wake Me Up Inside, which has gained a large amount of reviews in a short amount of time. Her literary style, known as “Anglo-Horiblis self-insert mangle-ism”, has such distinguishing features as mind-bogglingly terrible spelling and grammar, Mary Sue self-insertion, an utter lack of familiarity with Harry Potter, and use of that work of literature as a vehicle for out-of-place, navel-gazing descriptions of gothified HP characters.
However, some people believe that she simply has a satirical sense of humor. HAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS Tara is in fact the WORLDS GREATEST TROLL
Tara's fanfiction.net account has been hijacked on November 21, 2006. Her last update of MI was on July 5, 2007. My Immortal has taken 489 days to write so far. The story has not been updated in 224, and Tara has not posted a chapter for 371 days.
Tara has a MySpace, but it's blocked in Dubai. She has to go to her friend's house to access it.[1]
My Immortal 2 Wake Me Up Inside Tara posted this on another account because XXXbloodyrists666XXX is hacked. I request kindly that the hacker(s) give back her account. Thank you.
Raven is supposedly dead. I wish her an afterlife happier than what she experienced on Earth. Rest in Peace, Raven. You are missed.
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[edit] Biography
Tara is a teenage girl stuck in the midst of adolescence. She is very active on teh Internets. Tara is also known as goffikgurl on IMDb, goffikgurl666 on livejournal, XXXmidnitegoffXXX on idolblog, 99843262 on MySpace, and XXXbloodyrists666XXX on FF.net and quizilla. Her screen names suggest that she is gothic, but she claims that she is “goffik”.
[edit] Sockpuppet analysis
It has not been proven, but Tara may possibly have a fictionpress account under the pen name satanistwiccengirl. We can only hope she does, because it would be absolutely horrifying if we found another of her kind. The fact that in her first fanfic, "Beatifully Dark", the name of the main character is Samara luc’ifer Bulimia Smith. Note the second name, Lucifer but quite subtly deformed, and the third name, an illness. Now the name of the main character in MI's name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way. Note again the second name, a deformed normal word, and the third name, an illness. Also read "Beatifully Dark" in it's entirety and see that there is either a copycat working here, or Tara has returned. Further investigation is necessary.
[edit] Tara’s life
Gliesbie is known for her frequent spelling mistakes. She is most likely dyslexic, as evidenced by her literary output. Pop-punk band Good Charlotte has made a huge impact on Tara’s life, as their song, Hold On, convinced her not to commit suicide after hearing it on the radio. (A very good reason to hate Good Charlotte) She was upset at the time, because her boyfriend broke up with her, and her crush didn’t like her. She did date a guy called Justin, until she broke up with him and went out with some guy named Gareth Vandersleld. She also has a little sister named Trista Gilesbie, who she helps write fanfiction. Trista has her own page. Note that she is a much better writer. She also can't come up with an original title, borrowing everything from Evanescence.
Tara spent most of her days cutting her risk, crying tears of blood, screaming sexily, and having SEX sexily. Everything she does has a lot of impact of on her life, because everything is considered un-sexy (moronic) when she does it. Imagine her pooing sexily. Tara spent most of her early childhood years writing a dipshit Fan Fiction, which is basically based on a novel carry Harry Potter. She dreams of being a vampire, but she is not, and will never be one. She hates all the preps but she is one herself. She daydreams of riding on a fat unicorn and sitting on idiotic clouds.
It has recently been confirmed that Tara is indeed "dykselikic". [2] This leaves the rest of the world wondering what she's doing writing.
[edit] Likes and dislikes
As a goth, the music Gilesbie likes include Linkin Park, Good Charlotte, Evanescence, Simple Plan, Akon, , Blink-182, Marilyn Manson,My Chemical Romance and "all da other goofik bandz." Her least favorite artists are Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, Hillary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, and all other pop (despite the fact that most of the bands she likes are punk/pop, power/pop, et cetera). Tara likes to wear eyeliner and make-up. She is obsessed with death, wrist slitting, and Hot Topic. Despite Hilary Duff’s relationship with Good Charlotte frontman, Joel Madden (who also impregnated Nicole Richie), Tara dislikes the pop star, calling Duff a poser. She also hates being alive, Avril Lavigne (who is a poser), bright colors, pink (even though her Enoby Way can be frequently seen sporting "hot pink fishnets"), preps and Barbie. Her favorite movies are Corpse Bride, Mean Girls (which is ironic, considering that she hates Lindsay Lohan, the star of the movie), Van Helsing, The Grudge 1-2 (Which also shows how GREAT a taste in movies she has, as the grudge 2 was not a very good movie), Scary Movie 4, The Omen, Cursed, Nightmare Before Christmas, The Ring 1-2, and all horror movies.
[edit] My Immortal
UPDATE: OMG, My Immortal has been deleted! Bring out the champagne bottles and let's all get wasted! Nope, just reposted on her new (and hacked already!) account. The new account was deleted but all 44 chapters of My Immortal (and more) is available Here
Gillesbie has authored a Harry Potter story on Fanfiction.net. The story, entitled My Immortal, was named after an Evanescence song. Notably, Gerard Way, lead singer of My Chemical Romance, is greatly idolized in the story. It received 4,280 reviews in just one year.
Tara takes pleasure in renaming characters of the Harry Potter story. She also enjoys making them "goffik" and turning them into “vampirez”. It had also been noted that this retard has no concept of weather, as in her first chapter it's miraculously "snowing and raining" and the same time. Please realize that this is impossible. Here is a description of her character, followed by a list of renamed characters and brief descriptions of them:
Her full name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, she is not related to one of Tara's idols, Gerard Way. She has black hair, "icy blue eyes like limpid tears", and has perfectly straight teeth despite the fact that she is a vampire. Her dress style includes fishnets, leather boots, and lots of black clothing. She goes to sleep in a coffin wearing a long, black, low cut dress. She also wears a fair bit of pink, despite the fact that she hates it and associated it with preps.
Now that brings us to her habit of classifying the world into three groups: preps (people who like Hilary Duff, pink and things that Tara hates), posers (people like Avril Lavigne who pretend to be goth) and goths (people like her; morons). She also says the f word a lot and tends to stick up her rude-finger a lot. Once she recognized the existence of "nredz" (nerds) in Chapter 25 of "My Immortal".
Her hobbies include, slitting her wrists, drinking blood, crying out tears of blood, shooting people, and doing things that are far too mature for her. She also has a band with the utterly unpredictable name of “Bloody Gothic Rose 666”. In chapter 11 she also refers to the band as sounding "like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR." now maybe it is just me but, those three bands sound nothing like each other, therefore that band would probably sound really bad.
Always shops at Hot Topic even though they also cater to "preps". Spends a lot of time barely wearing anything or having random Sue sex with every guy in the damn book once she's made them gothik. Her name can be read as a synonym for whorish epic failure.
Milo Agenesis Way Oh my god, she has a brother. And she has teh sex with him. Not surprising, considering her wish to be related to Gerard Way just because "he's a major fucking hottie." Seriously, she needs to be arrested for incest and possible sexual predation!
Draco Malfoy He is one of the characters who was not re-named, he is a now a goth (full description is rather long, and for the record pointless). He is in love with Ebony (and had a past relationship with “Vampire”) and he becomes an hero. He gets into some nasty trouble, when Dumbledore catches him having teh sex with Ebony. Later on, he gets tortured by Voldemort. Yes, I know this doesn’t make sense - neither does Tara’s story.
Vampire Potter (aka Harry Potter) He used to go out with Draco, but they broke it off later. He is now a goth as well. He has a crush on Ebony.
B'Loody (pronounced bl-OO-dee) Mary Smith (aka Hermione Granger) After her mum died, Hermione became a goth and was renamed "Mary", her last name was found to be Smith. She is ALSO a goth. Then again, who the hell isn't in Tara's story.
Diabolo Weasley (aka Ron Weasley)
He is now a goth and is part of Ebony's band. He changed the shape of Harry's scar for an unknown reason. It should be noted that while "Diablo" means "Devil" in Spanish, "Diabolo" is actually a juggling prop an article on which can be found here.
[edit] Snow White Queen
Tara's 2int fane fiktshun that she wrote about Kirby. The main character is Ivyna Jesis Dementias TARA Jade Jrega Aachnifobya Enoby Bloom, and is more over the top than Ebony/Enoby. Her spelling skills seem to have gotten worse since writing My Immortal, but she still kept a lot of her trademark retardedness: every character has at least six or seven names, everyone falls in love with Ivy, people who don't like her are fucked, vigorous raping of canon/characters etc.
There's evidence that Tara has started a new project, known as "I Don't Care", which, in it's first chapter, has proven that her writing CAN get worse. It's about a girl named Lyra who is molested by her uncle. And, surprisingly, Lyra is NOT a vampire. She's a werewolf. Thus, we can only assume that during her hiatus, Tara has become a furry.
[edit] Writing Style
Tara has a very distinct writing style. She uses many different kinds of experimental liberties with her prose and thus can be compared to contemporary writers such as Haruki Murakami, Bret Easton Ellis, Stephenie Meyer, and a chimpanzee with Down Syndrome on crack.
Quite interesting is her approach to description of character and setting. She occasionally completely ignores the little things - such as where a certain part of the story is taking place - and then expounds on her own overwhelming interest in fashion by describing her character's clothing, hair and makeup at length. L e n g t h.
Another interesting thing about her writing is her consistent need to mention of how she hates "preps", presumably for their pattern of arrogantly placing themselves above others, and not accepting people for who they are and what they think. Not to mention their irritating obsession with fashion. What makes this absolute loathing funny, however, is that Tara herself often refuses to accept other people for who they are and what they think, screaming that all people who flame her story must be "preps", and all "preps" must be exactly alike. She also, as previously mentioned, has an irritating obsession with fashion, as well.
It could easily be said that her style is so dimwitted and poor that whenever Tara updates, or even so much as picks up a pencil, any readers of the half retarded scribblings would suffer an intellectual equivalent of a nuclear reactor meltdown, due to the mind being unaccustomed to such an incredible level of stupidity.
[edit] We Am Family
Unfortunately it has come to our attention that the self-acclaimed xxxbloodykisses666xxx or Tara's bum-fucked sister with just as bad writing skills may come from the same shit infested gene pool. Trista, the god-awful other spawn, writes exactly like her sister. Their unique abilities make them an unstoppable duo in which to wreak revolting horrifying terror upon teh Internets. Perhaps writing skillz is PAZTED DOWNED!??? holy motherfucker.
All I know is that if there is another Tara Gilesbie out there be sure I will purchase enough rope to hang myself and anyone else willing to come along no charge.
[edit] XXXmidnitegoffXXX
It seems that Tara has returned to haunt us with her awful spelling. As of now she has uploaded 17 new chapters for MI under the name My Immortal 2: Wake Me Up Inside and a series of satanic (if I can even call it that) poems, entitled Da Satanic Hymns. There is still debate over whether this new incarnation of Tara is for real or not, but reading this crap is as oddly amusing as ever. Somebody already hacked her account, but was nice enough not to change the password.
It has come to my attention that, as of chapter 17, Tara has a beta reader. This has resulted in a severe loss of lulz. She fired him because she doesn't trust anyone else with MI now that Raven is dead and her other account is hacked (again). No, seriously.
On a related note, Tara has opened another forum, Goffik Revolution, which quickly gained notoriety thanks to a post-editing spree.
And it keeps going...
[edit] Ransom
| —Troll-Tastic |
Yet another hacker has taken over the new account (the same one who deleted My Immortal, apparently), only this time he has no plans of giving the account back just yet. He's holding the account (and the stories) ransom for 10,000 reviews on his one story, THE MOST REVIEWED FANFICTION EVER. If the ransom is not paid, the account is history.
Jeez, talk about overreacting. I mean, am I the only one who sees the irony in responding to a badly-written fanfic with a typo-ridden ransom note? Methinks this guy needs to get a life (or get laid, whichever occurs first).
[edit] It wasn't really her
XXXmidnitegoffXXX has stepped forward and admitted that he/she is not the real Tara, and that the whole thing was an elaborate hoax. Thank goodness.
[edit] Videos
These are on YouTube which is a robot reading of her horrible story showing pictures and otherwise mocking her. Lulz much but might cause eye bleeding. Rated R for retarded.
[edit] Legacy
Tara has affected an entire generation of fanfic writers. She influenced many stories, be it parody or not.
[edit] Fanbase
Tara Gilesbie has acquired a large group of cult-like followers. Some do ritual cutting every night and worship a shrine of Tara on a weekly basis. In addition, she has a fanclub on LiveJournal, where "Goffs" and "Prepz" are both allowed. She usually shits her gawf angst on the "prepz", and asks them to take her quiz to find out if "theyz r goffik or not!!11".
It is speculated by some that her fanbase is entirely composed of various sock puppets belonging to Tara herself in a pathetic attempt to draw moar attention to her shit. This is of course only subtle conjecture, as everyone knows that there is no shortage of retardation on the Intarwebz.
[edit] Rivalry
Naturally with a story as provocative as My Immortal, there will inevitably be a backlash. Tara's assault on "Preps" and prep culture has prompted many writers to defend the worlds preps and launch a counter attack on the evil goffik scum in the world, most notably a story called Fightn' Over Me. This story is practically a shrine for Paris Hilton, the story title being a song off of Hilton's music album. The story is also based on FanFiction.net and features a character Paris, usually spelled "Prus" and her battle to free the world of goffs. The story starts similar to Tara's and eventually deviates along its own path, with equally horrendous spelling and grammar.
[edit] Tara-esque Authors
Not an all-inclusive list.
- XXXbloodyrists666XXX - The infamous retard girl.
- TwilaBeautifulPsycoTopazCullen - Supposedly Tara writing under a different name to further destroy the Twilight Series. Or else another deranged 'fan'. On further examination, this is, in fact, Tara. If it isn't I will become an hero by way of Goatse.
- bloodytearz666 - Tara's friend Raven. Same goth crap, but at least her spelling is better.
- xxxbloodykisses666xxx - Tara's sister Trista, but Tara denies that Trista is her sister
- xxxstatansblood666 - This Amaya girl who is a carbon copy of Tara.
- satanistwiccengirl – “Samara” on fictionpress.com. The good thing is she doesn't have any canon to rape.
- zzzzz (on fanfiction.net), (on fictionpress.com) - A Tara fan who doesn’t have a life and has Asperger's. Her friends are in her head.
- gothgurl4eva Author whose life ambition is to be like Tara. She succeeded.
- [3] An illiterate nigger who loves fired chikin but hates rassists. He calls everyone racist despite the fact that he, himself, is blatantly racist (aka, typical nigger). A quote from his profile: "tings i don lik: rassists wite ppl jews mixicans (bcuz dey cant speek da langig)"
- DeathlyGladEmoGurl
- EmoGir
- xXxSatansSexyGurl666xXx-No longer a member of FF.net.
- DrakosGurl616
- GofficStorees
- Songofthepast - 13-year-old boy who attempts to write pr0n.
- xXxHottiexXxKweenxXx
- BloodsoakedRavenXXX666
- bloodycrystalteeerz
- pr3pe1 The Rival story, if your eyes can handle additional massacre of the English language.
- goffikgurl13
- ItachiKunLover A poor girl with an Xbox that writes like her head's been shoved up Tara's ass her whole life. She's magic, you guys. [4]
- vampyre-tearz
- ToTaL hAwTi SlAsH lUvr A 16-year-old Tara-obsessed "goff" whose Mary-Sue gets dick in almost every chapter, including from her own dear ol' dad. THSL loves "My Immortal" and masturbates to it every day.
- macxblooLOVER 13-year-old furfag who likes underage sex between a kid and his imaginary friend. Is also under the impression that men can get pregnant and women can get knocked up without use of teh penis.
- gothgurl14eva
- DiamondTopazAlexandriaRuby Yet another "goff" wasting server space on FF.net with horrid spelling, terrible grammar, and the world's worst (and most random) sex scenes. Ironically, her style seems to match Tara's current format. Coincidence? How the fuck should I know?
- Hans von Hozel-Some butt-fucked German attempting to improve his English by crapping-up FF.net with his shitty drabbles
- Gothprincess666- Need I say more?
[edit] Tara-esque Stories
See main article.
[edit] External Links
- gofikchick@hotmail.com - Her email address. Send your hatemail here.
- Tara’s fanfiction.net profile
- My Immortal: All 44 chapters of Tara's story and more!
Tara’s My Immortal storyBALETED- new fanfiction.net profile
The "Sekwel", My Immortal 2: Wake Me Up InsideBALETEDTara`s new beta (god save him)Actually, he was saved. Tara decided she didn't want his services anymore, and reposted the original chapters as they may have appeared. Damn, they're crappy!- Tara`s Current boyfriend, Gareth Vandersleld
Tara’s quiz on quizillaBeeleted by the Politically Correct overlords of MTV who took over Quizilla and labeled it "initially hateful"!- Tara’s petition
- Tara's LiveJournal
- Tara's sisters page on Fanfiction.net
- Tara Fanclub on LJ
- TARA'S TRIUMPHANT RETURN! This time, bastardizing Twilight!
- Tara's GaiaOnline Profile
- Troll-Tastic Douchebag who's trying to kill our lulz by being An Hero and holding a gun to Tara's (and Raven's) profile's head, threating to act if his terroristic demands aren't met. The dumbass doesn't seem to realize that Tara can always just create a new profile.
- Gothprincess666 - Goff, writes strangley like Tara herself.
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