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From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Tedius Zanarukando is a 29 year old gay nigger who loves Final Fantasy. He has a long history of trolling message boards with his sexist beliefs. He has been banhammered at least 100 times.

Contents 1 The Tedius Zanarukando Doctrine 2 Quotes 3 Related Pages 4 External Links

[edit] The Tedius Zanarukando Doctrine

Tedius Zanarukando one day decided to write up all of his retarded beliefs. The tenets of the Tedius Zanarukando doctrine are:

1. Women should not be fashioned after men. Women should look feminine, not masculine. Women are not inherently like men. In order for romantic love to be a pleasant experience for men, female fashion must comply with male wishes, or otherwise it is hostile behavior. Female fashion that complies with male wishes is called girly girl fashion, and the opposite is called tomboy fashion. Girly girl fashion (such as long hair and skirts) is intrinsically modest and tomboy fashion (such as short hair and trousers) is intrinsically Jezebel. This tenet may sound sexist according to dominant culture, but it is a fact and for your own good. I detest women who look like men, and I do not accept that I am a sexist. You must not view this tenet, adherence to it, or celebration of female beauty as sexist. This rule is a basic element of human civilization. Tomboy fashion may be a tenet of feminist dogma, but it is hostile behavior and merits very disasterous moral consequences. Women should not make themselves unattractive to men or let others make them unattractive, nor should any authority encourage them to do so. Doing so flies against common sense and the normal, natural human desire to please, and it is not the female way. Being like SNK character King is hostile behavior. Women must not rely on personality alone to attract or charm men. Short hair is not the female way. Long hair is the only way to go for women. Women should wear at least bra-strap length hair. Very long hair is the most recommended and must not be frowned upon. Women should not cut off or have someone cut off their long hair, for that is not the female way. They should let their hair decide how long it will grow. No one should encourage any woman to cut or wear their hair short. Contrary to a myth, long hair is easier and more rewarding to take care of than short hair, and it is healthier too. If a source says "avoid long hair" or "do not wear your hair long" or "lose the long hair" or anything that connotes advocacy of short hair, then do not listen to them for they are liars. Long hair has no age limit, thus long hair is practical for any age whatsoever. Women should not wear trousers; that is not the female way. No authority figure should require women or girls to violate this tenet. You must not expel, punish, or terminate a female client or employee for wearing their hair long or for wearing skirts. Such act is called persecution of femininity. Hence, no authority figure should frown upon femininity. Brunettes are more attractive than blondes. Black hair is more beautiful than other hair colors. African-American, Hispanic, Arab, and Asian women look best with black hair. Authority figures, including parents, school faculty, bosses, church leaders, and heads of state, must respect femininity; thus they must not force any female follower to violate this tenet. Parents should raise girly girls, not tomboys. If the government forces violation of this tenet, the human race will go the way of the dodo. FACT

There are 44 more of these, people.

[edit] Quotes

“	I do not believe romantic relationship. Wives come and go, but motion pictures and electronic games are forever.	„
—Tedius Zanarukando, ace romantic

“	Saying that I am a sexist is like saying that God is a sexist.	„
—Tedius Zanarukando is a fucking retard

“	I will not get over this! I am very shocked about this. If you do not accept my contest, I will do a legal threat against you. I want to be your friend. I am NOT a sexist. You need to change your mind. The Internet IS a democracy, not a dictatorship.	„
—Tedius Zanarukando, after being banned from a forum

“	I am getting tired of all those barbaric, negative comments about me. I am getting tired of being banned from a message board. I want to turn things around for the better of the boards I attended. The feminist movement of the past still has an impact on the message boards, and it is a growing issue that must be addressed. Me discussing feminism is nothing new at message boards. I first discussed female fashion and feminism at FFLegend.com back in 2002 and 2004. It is only recently that there have been crackdown on expounding my opinion on feminism, thus the demon of online feminism has been born. Because of this demon, I may not want to register to another message board again. I had enough of being judged based on radical feminist dogma, such as the radical feminist definition of the word "sexism." This crackdown is unnecessary and ridiculous. Females, as well as males, can be friends with me. I am not trying to be strict on you. I do not believe in strict justice. Lenient justice bears richer fruits than strict justice. I was patient WimminzSuck and AYRA ROX, but my patience reached its limits that I had to ban them. I feel sorry for those who claimed to be offended by me at FinalFantasyForums.net. I would like to pray for them, for I still love you all at FinalFantasyForums.net. I love you all more than you ever know. If you could give me a good enough chance, you will understand me. You should stop judging me too fast. Heaven, I need a hug.	„
—Tedius Zanarukando, [tl;dr] after being banned from a forum

“	I was not the one responsible for the ban. The ban was only a set up. WildCard of Aura and FFLegend set me up to get me banned. He strongly offended me with extreme, religious anti-Final-Fantasy content, which is banned at this forum, and it is even worse than what is ever posted at this forum. He was saying that Final Fantasy should be recalled and every Final Fantasy game disc and cartridge be destroyed and every ROM deleted in the name of God. That post was an extreme threat against Square Enix. WildCard is indeed an enemy of Square Enix, and he wants Square Enix to go out of business. Recalling is worse than restriction. He is on the side of Jack Chick Empire. Therefore, he is definitely not allowed at TZVGC.	„
—Tedius Zanarukando on banning conspiracies

“	If everyone were happier naked, there would be no more indicents of users getting banned from any Internet forums.	„
—Tedius Zanarukando on how to stop being banned

“	Not every site or social network service is going to banhammer me. Not all people hate me. The people who hate me are corrupt. The people I got in trouble with online are only persecutors. Therefore I am a cybermartyr.	„
—Tedius Zanarukando: CYBERMARTYR

“	I am someone who is bashed for their beliefs, ie a CYBERMARTYR	„
—Tedius Zanarukando getting Butthurt by radical feminists, AKA people who disgaree with him

“	Rampant Feminism caused AIDS.	„
—Tedius Zanarukando on AIDS and Feminism

Tedius cannot stand criticism, and will BAWWWWWW when his beliefs are shot down. Not only that, but he fears being dominated by women, and knows where they belong. A true hero.

[edit] Related Pages

• Retard
• Asperger's Syndrome
• Attention Whore
• Fanboy
• Fag

[edit] External Links

• Tedius Zanarukando's Message Board
• Wikipedia Page *talk page contains major lulz

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